Did you have a REAL DAD, or a distant/absent biological donor?

[Nick1994]

I guess I have a real dad.

My parents divorced when I was a toddler. He was for the most part a good dad growing up, never mean to me. He could have stepped up a lot more though.

These days he struggles with mental illness. He won't admit it though. He's also 1,000% into the wildest conspiracy theories, so far that I've distanced myself from him. We talk about once a month and see each other once every few months. It is what it is. He's an adult and can live whatever life that he thinks makes him happy.

I will say though, my grandparents (his parents) were the two most amazing grandparents I could have ever asked for.

 

[02SE]

I also had the best mom and dad I could have ever asked for. I may not have always appreciated them like I should have, but eventually I grew up, and realized what I had. I'll spend the rest of my life appreciating how lucky I am to have had the parents I did, while trying to live up to their example.

I lost dad in July, and mom in August. Both after long illnesses.

 

[dlundblad]

My parents and I are very close. My dad and I aren’t very much alike aside from the sarcasm, but that is okay.

 

[Slick3914]

I’m fortunate to have a great Dad.

 

[wemay]

I count my lucky stars. Pop was the best.

 

[wpod]

Yesterday morning I woke up is a startle with the thought when I woke up was I have to call my dad . My dad passed away in 2008.

 

[Dave Sherman]

My dad's a real dad. Learned so much from him on all things mechanical, electrical and automotive. My older sister was from my mom's first marriage, and somehow I didn't realize until I was about 15 that he was her stepdad, but she always treated him like she was her dad. Certainly very grateful for everything I've learned from him.

 

[Brett776]

My dad’s been ok through the years. He and my mom divorced when I was 8 so he wasn’t a big part of my life. Like many, my mother was and still is a very difficult person to be around with a lot of anger. My dad avoided her like the plague after the divorce. My mom always talked bad about him and would criticize me for saying anything good about him. My dad paid child support and visited when he could. He was young and good looking and constantly chasing women so we really never bonded growing up. He didn’t miss major life events and tried his best he just had a hard time connecting with me.
Unlike my mother who can be downright cruel my dad’s never been mean to me. In the last few years he calls me nearly daily to check on me, comes and visits the grandkids and sends me bible quotes. He’s still emotionally distant even with the grand kids unless he’s been drinking (then he’s a big softie) but he tries. Bad father ? No, just in his own world. I’m grateful he’s been trying harder to connect these past few years (he’s 67) and that he never missed a child support payment. He constantly tells me how proud he is of me and my accomplishments. I wish we connected better but I won’t make that mistake with my two young sons.

 

[oilboy123]

Real dad, and mom.

They stayed married for life. My appreciation for my dad has gone up exponentially after reading all of this thread.
He taught me a lot, I'm a lot like him, and my grandfather I never really new very well. His biggest fault was his hot temper. He could turn to being pissed, then laughing 2 minutes later........

I'm very thankful for him. He had a pretty good life. He passed away in 2016.

 

[Triple_Se7en]

My dad bolted from wife and four of us kids, when I was around nine years old. Eventually the kids separated and lived amongst nearest and older siblings.

Last I recall of Dad was attaching four water bottle-bag canteens to his 1957 pickup's front bumper. He said he was driving from Detroit to San Francisco to see his brother and needed to pass thru a large desert.

Never saw the man again. Last seen in 1959. He died in a Frisco apartment fire in 1983. I think he lived for 75 years. My real mother passed from cancer in 1972 at the age of 63. She lived just long enough to see all of us get married.

I (the youngest) got married six months prior to Mom's death in Nov 1971. Mom now resides amongst those flying, two-winged friends and numerous family relatives that lived clean lives. My Dad probably still walks around darkness of the abyss these days with many, many regrets - still to be sorted out and resolved.

 

[John105]

Pretty sure my dad was my dad. But my bro had to go and dna test and found out he’s of races that I assume I am not. Why not let sleeping dogs lie is what I think. But I watched a ton of SVU and Law and Order. I’d conclude my only bro has a different dad.

 

[GON]

My dad’s been ok through the years. He and my mom divorced when I was 8 so he wasn’t a big part of my life. Like many, my mother was and still is a very difficult person to be around with a lot of anger. My dad avoided her like the plague after the divorce. My mom always talked bad about him and would criticize me for saying anything good about him. My dad paid child support and visited when he could. He was young and good looking and constantly chasing women so we really never bonded growing up. He didn’t miss major life events and tried his best he just had a hard time connecting with me.
Unlike my mother who can be downright cruel my dad’s never been mean to me. In the last few years he calls me nearly daily to check on me, comes and visits the grandkids and sends me bible quotes. He’s still emotionally distant even with the grand kids unless he’s been drinking (then he’s a big softie) but he tries. Bad father ? No, just in his own world. I’m grateful he’s been trying harder to connect these past few years (he’s 67) and that he never missed a child support payment. He constantly tells me how proud he is of me and my accomplishments. I wish we connected better but I won’t make that mistake with my two young sons.

Brett, thanks for sharing your story. It is uplifting to hear how your Dad is putting forth the effort to be closer to you. Egos can make that difficult for many people.

Not directly relevant to your story, but last night my Wife and I saw The Blind, the story of The Robertson family. Enjoyable movie, but the middle was pretty painful.

 

[Yah-Tah-Hey]

Except for being gone in WWII, my dad was home every evening while I was growing up. He was always there.

 

[Donald]

I had a real Dad. Taught me a lot about so many things. I do miss him.