Corporate word salad

[dogememe]

Instead of just “thanks for contacting customer service. We’ll get back to you within 24 hours” it’s “hi friend, your request is being reviewed by our member success team.”

Like who makes up this word vomit? I’ve noticed this trend the past few years. More and more companies are writing like this. What’s the point?

 

[FowVay]

Motel 6 gives you the warm fuzzies with their "We'll leave the light on for you" slogan. They don't mention that this is so the police can more easily find the bullet casings from the gun that was used in the last drug deal/prostitution ring murder that took place there.

Upbeat and positive! If you're not already fired up about needing to use the customer service number then you will be once we get done with you.

 

[NiwradND]

Motel 6 gives you the warm fuzzies with their "We'll leave the light on for you" slogan. They don't mention that this is so the police can more easily find the bullet casings from the gun that was used in the last drug deal/prostitution ring murder that took place there.

Upbeat and positive! If you're not already fired up about needing to use the customer service number then you will be once we get done with you.

I thought just the Motel 6 in Bismarck ND was the only one like that............

 

[jeepman3071]

Like who makes up this word vomit? I’ve noticed this trend the past few years. More and more companies are writing like this. What’s the point?

Marketing teams who are bored and have the intelligence level of a rock.

 

[Zee09]

To be perfectly honest with you this is rather unfortunate for a man of your stature in the community. Our sincerest apologies.
Cheers

 

[Kira]

Remember how badly written user manuals made us laugh in the '80's?
That was 'budget translations' we were reading.

Today it's the Sesame Street generation at the corporate keyboard.

Empty TV shows, worthless dialogue, stultifying verbiage in videos.......you're surprised?

 

[buster]

Instead of just “thanks for contacting customer service. We’ll get back to you within 24 hours” it’s “hi friend, your request is being reviewed by our member success team.”

Like who makes up this word vomit? I’ve noticed this trend the past few years. More and more companies are writing like this. What’s the point?

Probably some MBA grad trying to impress folks with his linguistic synergies.

 

[SC Maintenance]

Sounds like a Chinese response. Something you bought from a 3rd party on Amazon?

 

[KrisZ]

It’s been like that for a long time now.

 

[jws555]

Instead of just “thanks for contacting customer service. We’ll get back to you within 24 hours” it’s “hi friend, your request is being reviewed by our member success team.”

Like who makes up this word vomit? I’ve noticed this trend the past few years. More and more companies are writing like this. What’s the point?

There are multiple definitions for the word "member". I won't expound any further.

Regards,
John

 

[Passport1]

All bafflegab and it comes from the popinjays that believe they run things. Phonies, they speak in the subjunctive form just to seem serious and authoritative. We see them everywhere on the national news every night.

 

[PontiacHO]

Instead of just “thanks for contacting customer service. We’ll get back to you within 24 hours” it’s “hi friend, your request is being reviewed by our member success team.”

Like who makes up this word vomit? I’ve noticed this trend the past few years. More and more companies are writing like this. What’s the point?

Because the service centers are offshore and English isn’t there first language.

 

[14.1 Grms]

CS responses written by someone with a master's degree in marketing, who has never actually interacted with humans on either side of the CS counter.

 

[Hillbilly Deluxe]

Over-educated Marketing teams who have the intelligence level of a rock and a desperate need to justify their existence.

Fixt

 

[Invisible]

The purpose of using "corporate word salad" can vary, but most of the time it serves one of the following purposes:

1. Impress or Intimidate: To impress the audience with what appears to be specialized knowledge or sophistication, or to intimidate them into not questioning further.
2. Obscure Meaning: To deliberately obscure the true meaning of a message, possibly to hide negative information, or uncertainty.
3. Conformity: To conform to corporate culture or industry standards where such language is the norm, even if it's not effective.
4. Filler Content: To fill space in communication where there might not be substantive content to offer (bolster content).
5. Avoid Commitment: To avoid making clear, concrete statements that could lead to accountability or commitments.

Here is an example of corporate word salad that can be used in a board meeting, investor call, etc.:

As we move forward, we're leveraging innovative synergies to enhance our core competencies and maximize shareholder value. Our strategic roadmap is focused on holistic, scalable solutions that drive digital transformation and create robust, cutting-edge ecosystems. We're committed to fostering dynamic cross-functional teams to capitalize on market-driven, disruptive technologies, ensuring we remain agile in a rapidly evolving global landscape. Our mission is to optimize operational excellence and sustain unparalleled customer engagement through proactive, value-added strategies.

Ironically, it sounds a lot like Soviet Communist propaganda language during the Soviet Union. Both share a significant commonality in their use of language to manipulate, obfuscate, and serve specific agendas. It makes me nauseous just thinking that we've gone full circle from getting rid of them, to having our own corporations talk and act in a similar manner, namely lying, deceiving, and robing us blind.

 

[D60]

Reminds me of the movie The Circle -- which is increasingly relevant with each passing day

 

[Invisible]

Reminds me of the movie The Circle -- which is increasingly relevant with each passing day

I saw it, with Tom Hanks. Massively underrated movie IMHO.

 

[cptbarkey]

The same can be said for slapping "Engineer" or "Scientist" on many job titles in software development, let alone Director titles are given out like hard candy.

 

[The_Eric]

Interesting the timing of this thread.. I just received a letter from a local transmission rebuilder which made me think the exact same thing!

"Dear Customer,

At (Transmission Rebuilder), our commitment to excellence drives us to continuously enhance our offerings to cater to the diverse requirements of our esteemed clientele. In response to invaluable feedback and strategic recognition of the need for flexible choices, we are pleased to to announce the reintegration of the 90 day Warranty alongside our existing 1-year and 3-year options. This addition is thoughtfully curated with budget-conscious drivers in mind, ensuring access to outstanding quality and reliability synonymous with (Transmission Rebuilder) at a more accessible price point."

 

[Pablo]

Corporate? How about people is much higher places? LONG, I mean LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG speeches of nothing but gobbledygook. One is word salad, other is word soup