Take her to a range that allows you to rent guns before you buy. It took me renting probably 5 or 6 guns before finding one that my wife liked. She did not like the small 5-shot s&w .38s with hot ammo. It kicked like a mule in her hands. We ended up going with a Khar E-9. Got it used. It has never missed a beat and we run speer gold dots for carry ammo for her.