After a bunch of searching it appears that the tow package for Caravans involved an external transmission oil cooler and leveling shocks, and perhaps some other things. Best I can tell, if it is using just the typical in-radiator transmission cooler, and it has normal diameter rear shocks (around 1.5" diameter) then it does not have the towing package.
That said, I'm not sure if anything else (such as springs or brakes) changed with the tow package inclusion. I'm guessing below 3,000lb just an external cooler (which is likely recommended in general for these transmissions) and treating it gently is likely all it needs; probably crazy to do 3k or more though. 2k might be a good limit. Stow and Go models might not be best, as the rear seat adds lots of weight (meaning that much more to cut into GCVW).
I am reading some conflicting reports on the 41TE 4speed auto; apparently a lot of the bum rap comes from needing ATF+3 (now superseded by ATF+4)? And probably from needing much more frequent ATF changes in general (heavy FWD, hard on fluid, etc). There is something also about how the transmission has some fail-safe modes where it goes into 2nd gear (for various failures and reasons), and that can be misinterpreted as "blown'd up". Doesn't sound like transmission replacement is too bad; $2k for rebuild plus $1k installation, give or take, might be a ballpark estimate.
I think the 3.3L V6 is well rated, the 3.8L V6 apparently may burn oil--but is technically more powerful. The 3.8 used taller final drive ratio, so they can get similar mpg. I'm seeing on fuelly.com 20-24mpg for averages.