I thought this might produce some comments.
30 Rules for Being a Good Republican:
1) You have to believe that pollution is OK, especially if it is making someone a profit.
2) You have to believe that being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime unless you are a multi-millionare conservative radio talk show host, which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for "recovery."
3) You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
4) You have to be against government programs, but expect your Social Security checks to come on time.
5) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's private lives, but it needs to punish anyone caught doing something wrong in the privacy of their own bedroom.
6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as they are Christian.
7) You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with no government regulations whatsoever.
9) You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you, and that he shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and Hilary Clinton.
10) You hate the ACLU for protecting the free speech of people that you disagree with, but they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.
11) You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken Starr to spend 50 million taxpayer dollars to attack Bill Clinton because no other government officials have ever been unfaithful to their wives.
12) You have to believe that illegal drug use and group sex is a degenerate sin that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.
13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.
14) You have to believe that the NRA is good because they defend the Constitution, while the ACLU is bad because they defend the Constitution.
15) You have to believe that government-sponsored health benefits are wrong and that only HMOs and insurance companies have your best interests at heart.
16) You have to believe that Hollywood celebrities are bad people who have no right to express their opinions, unless, of course, they are conservative.
17) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, and that science teachers have no right teaching the theory of evolution in place of creationism.
18) You have to believe that atheism is a religion but that creationism is just good science.
19) You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent of old growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests and the extinction of the several species of plants and animals therein, because it makes someone a profit.
20) You have to believe that Saddam was an OK guy when Reagan armed him in the 80s, an OK guy when Cheney was doing business with him in the 90's and a bad guy when Bush wanted to invade his country and take it over.
21) You have to believe that the public has "a right to know" about the adulterous affairs of democrats, while those of Republicans are a very "private matter."
22) You have to believe that the public has a right to know what the government is doing but that Bush was right to censor 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth, and that it is just fine that Bush is running the most secret administration in U.S. history.
23) You support state's rights, which means John Ashcroft telling every state what locally passed voter initiatives he will let them have.
24) You have to believe that Aid to Families with Dependent children is wasteful, but giving tax breaks to companies moving American jobs overseas is just what government is for.
25) You have to believe that a record trade deficit, a record budget deficit and a record national debt is very bad, but somehow acceptable if a Republican is in the White House.
26) You have to believe that there is no such thing as global warming, and that it is totally acceptable to pollute our environment when it allows corporations to make bigger profits.
27) You have to believe that Tommy Chong should do time in prison for selling glass pipes that might be used for smoking pot while Ken Lay whose company, Enron, illegally lost billions in people's savings and retirement can remain free because he is a friend of George Bush.
28) You have to believe that there should never be anything more important than the creation of wealth and that government should never stand in its way, no matter what the consequences are to our water, air, oceans, rivers, lakes, forests, or the impact it might have on our health and/or lives.
29) You have to believe that the United Nations, even though they were created to help prevent wars and find ways of settling international problems peacefully, should never pursue a peaceful solution to the U.S. going to war.
30) You have to believe that all Democrats are evil, that all Liberals are evil, and the only way you can enter heaven is as a conservative Republican.
30 Rules for Being a Good Republican:
1) You have to believe that pollution is OK, especially if it is making someone a profit.
2) You have to believe that being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime unless you are a multi-millionare conservative radio talk show host, which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for "recovery."
3) You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
4) You have to be against government programs, but expect your Social Security checks to come on time.
5) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's private lives, but it needs to punish anyone caught doing something wrong in the privacy of their own bedroom.
6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as they are Christian.
7) You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with no government regulations whatsoever.
9) You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you, and that he shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and Hilary Clinton.
10) You hate the ACLU for protecting the free speech of people that you disagree with, but they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.
11) You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken Starr to spend 50 million taxpayer dollars to attack Bill Clinton because no other government officials have ever been unfaithful to their wives.
12) You have to believe that illegal drug use and group sex is a degenerate sin that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.
13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.
14) You have to believe that the NRA is good because they defend the Constitution, while the ACLU is bad because they defend the Constitution.
15) You have to believe that government-sponsored health benefits are wrong and that only HMOs and insurance companies have your best interests at heart.
16) You have to believe that Hollywood celebrities are bad people who have no right to express their opinions, unless, of course, they are conservative.
17) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, and that science teachers have no right teaching the theory of evolution in place of creationism.
18) You have to believe that atheism is a religion but that creationism is just good science.
19) You have to believe that the lumber from the last one percent of old growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests and the extinction of the several species of plants and animals therein, because it makes someone a profit.
20) You have to believe that Saddam was an OK guy when Reagan armed him in the 80s, an OK guy when Cheney was doing business with him in the 90's and a bad guy when Bush wanted to invade his country and take it over.
21) You have to believe that the public has "a right to know" about the adulterous affairs of democrats, while those of Republicans are a very "private matter."
22) You have to believe that the public has a right to know what the government is doing but that Bush was right to censor 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth, and that it is just fine that Bush is running the most secret administration in U.S. history.
23) You support state's rights, which means John Ashcroft telling every state what locally passed voter initiatives he will let them have.
24) You have to believe that Aid to Families with Dependent children is wasteful, but giving tax breaks to companies moving American jobs overseas is just what government is for.
25) You have to believe that a record trade deficit, a record budget deficit and a record national debt is very bad, but somehow acceptable if a Republican is in the White House.
26) You have to believe that there is no such thing as global warming, and that it is totally acceptable to pollute our environment when it allows corporations to make bigger profits.
27) You have to believe that Tommy Chong should do time in prison for selling glass pipes that might be used for smoking pot while Ken Lay whose company, Enron, illegally lost billions in people's savings and retirement can remain free because he is a friend of George Bush.
28) You have to believe that there should never be anything more important than the creation of wealth and that government should never stand in its way, no matter what the consequences are to our water, air, oceans, rivers, lakes, forests, or the impact it might have on our health and/or lives.
29) You have to believe that the United Nations, even though they were created to help prevent wars and find ways of settling international problems peacefully, should never pursue a peaceful solution to the U.S. going to war.
30) You have to believe that all Democrats are evil, that all Liberals are evil, and the only way you can enter heaven is as a conservative Republican.
