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Joined
Sep 25, 2002
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951
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Loveland, Colorado
You live in Arizona when... 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel. 3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face. 5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top. 6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture lingerie ads. 7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food. 9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! 10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door. You Live in California when... 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house. 2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone. 3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway. 4. You know how to eat an artichoke. 5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party. 6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is. You Live in New York City when... 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan. 2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. 3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 4. You think Central Park is "nature," 5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual. 6. You've worn out a car horn. 7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression. You Live in Maine when... 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas. 3. You have more than one recipe for moose. 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction. You Live in the Deep South when... 1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store. 2. "ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural. 3. After twelve years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?" 4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense. 5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc. You live in Colorado when... 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car. 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center. 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating. 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail. You live in the Midwest when... 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name. 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day. 4. You end sentences with a preposition, such as: "Where's my coat at?" 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!" You live in Florida when.... 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars. 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
 
Joined
Dec 15, 2002
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1,259
Location
Simpsonville SC
Add to the Florida one: Just when you think it can't get more humid, it rains for 5 minutes and the sun comes out. Bugs hitting the windshield are cause for an insurance claim.
 

ALS

Joined
May 28, 2003
Messages
1,862
Location
Pittsburgh
You live in Pittsburgh when: "Hey Yunz Guyz" is your traditional greeting. You know the time and location of every Wing Night in a 10 mile radius. You know the location of the following towns, know someone from them and have spent time there: Monongahela, Altoona, Bethlehem, Ligonier, Harmony, and Wilmerding. You've memorized lines from the movie "Flashdance". If you're a guy, your biggest fear is seeing your best friend drive into the "fruit loop". You're second biggest fear is seeing him drive out with Kordel Stewart. If you're a girl, you're biggest fear is getting hit on by a hairy-chested man, heavily weighted in gold chains, who refers to his friends as "junior" at Chauncey's. Your latest cultural experience: On your way to partying at Slippery Rock University, having to stop your car to let the Amish buggy cross the street. As your out-of-town friends brag about their latest trips to Europe, you think to yourself, "Polish Hill will suffice." You eat out at least once a week at a mafia-owned Italian pizza parlor. Your father has worked for the same company for over 20 years. You don't see what all the hype is about Disney World when Kennywood is just around the corner. You're having a hard time on where to take your Date out for dinner and a night on the town: - "meat on a stick" in the south side and the guzzling IC Light at Jack's - splitting an order of "O fries" and guzzling IC Light at Peter's Pub. " N at' " is eloquently added to the end of every sentence. You've taken deliberate field trips to the Andy Warhol museum. You water ski on the Youghiogheny River Lake. You feel the only good bands out there are Donny Iris, Joe Grushecky, The Blue Oyster Cult, and of course.... Rusted Root. You're more worried about Jerome Bettis's health than your own. You own more than one original Terrible Towel. Your most bitter regret is that Dan Marino played for the Dolphins... You don't understand what all the hype is about for Rolling Rock beer, You've been drinking it for years, although Penn Pilsner is better. You consider a great vacation a trip to Conneaut Lake or Lake Erie ... For something a little more exotic, a trip to the Jersey shore. You're 35 years old, have never been outside of Allegheny County, and don't see the need to leave. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Heinz ketchup, and the bottle of Trappey's Red Devil you swiped from Primanti's. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. For the life of you, you can't understand why your all your out-of-town friends don't get the "fries and cole slaw" thing... You have 101 favorite recipes for kolbasi and sauerkraut. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. You find 20F "a little" chilly. You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction. You remember fondly time off from school known as "Snow Days". Words like: hoagie; chipped ham; pop; and gumband actually mean something to you. You can use the phrase "Firehall Wedding" and not even bat an eye.
 
Joined
Jan 4, 2003
Messages
244
Location
U. P. Michigan
You know you're from Michigan if: You've never met any celebrities; Vacation means going to Cedar Point; At least one member of your family disowns you the week of the Michigan/MSU game; Half the change in your pocket is Canadian (eh?); You drive 86 miles per hour on the highway and pass on the right; Your idea of a traffic jam is 40 cars waiting to pass an orange barrel; You know how to play and pronounce Euchre; It's easy to get Vernor's and Faygo pop; You know how to pronounce Mackinac; You've had to switch on the heat and the air-conditioning in your car on the same day; You bake with soda and drink pop; The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny - you consider it a documentary; Your little league game was snowed out; The word thumb has geographical rather than anatomical significance; You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your right hand; Traveling coast to coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon; You measure distance in minutes; When giving directions, you refer to "a Michigan left", You know that Kalamazoo isn't far from **** ; Your year has 2 seasons - winter and construction; Home Depot on any given Saturday is busier than any toy store at Christmas; You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms; Owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your hometown; You believe that down south means Toledo; And for those of us Michiganders who aren't Trolls (trolls being them what lives 'below the Bridge') You Might be a Yooper if... Your wife's Lady Remington is a 30-06... Your snowmobile costs more than your kid's college education... Your wife's night gown says Fred Bear Archery... A trip to the islands means Mackinac and Bois Blanc... You're on a first name basis with the clerk at the Michigan State Unemployment Office... You install your snow tires in early September... You think working at McDonalds' means making the big bucks... Your best clothes are reversible; Blaze Orange to Camouflage... Going south for the winter means going to Escanaba... You think that Iron Mountain is a prime example of a big city in urban decay... You think the expression "to open a can of worms" means " to go fishing"... You think that a Big Mac and a shake refers to the Bridge on a windy day... A new car means a 1972 AMC Gremlin... You watched the "Ricki Lake Show" because you thought it was a show about fishing... You answer the question "How many UP'ers does it take to change a light bulb?" with "None, we don't have electricity"... You consider Velcro to be high tech... You think that "The Straits of Mackinac" refers to the heterosexual population on the island... You think that the Mackinac ferry refers to, well, you know... You view working the drive-through window as an important career advancement... You only know Ted Nugent for his archery equipment... You think the phrase "It's all down hill from here" is an advertisement for the local Ski Lodge... You think that a 6 pack of Strohs, a bag of Doritos, salsa and bean dip cover 4 of the 7 basic food groups... You think your family tree is the one in the backyard with the tire swing... You saw a sign that said "Drink Canada Dry" and you've been trying ever since... You think Canadian Club is the hockey team from Wawa, Ontario, EH?... You didn't go see the movie Malcom X because you missed Malcom I through IX... You can ice fish 9 months of the year... You think that poached eggs means they were stolen from your neighbor's chickens... You think the sign in every bar that says NO MINORS SERVED is occupationally biased... You think the sign saying FINE FOR PARKING means this is a really good spot... You consider Membership in the Michigan Militia as a viable military career... Your Jr. High School has a mandatory class titled Chainsaw Operation and Repair... You know 37 ways to prepare meals from roadkill... Your idea of deer hunting is driving down the logging roads in your 4 wheel drive WITHOUT your gun... When sent for a jack, you bring back a fifth of Lynchberg Tennessee's finest... Your summer shirts are plaid wool (same as your wintershirts)... Your mosquito repellent doubles as your aftershave... Your daily log is something you burn for heat... Your ice fishing shanty is better furnished than your house... You think ice beer is leaving a 6 pack of Old Style outside overnight... Your favorite bar plays both kinds of music, Country AND Western... You consider a thunderstorm as a drive thru car wash... Your wife's new fur coat came from animals you trapped yourself... Nothing in your living room clashes with your stuffed moose head... Your local bowling alley has 6 lanes so there's no waiting... People admiring your earthtone carpet suddenly realize really is the earth... Your local record store still has brand new 8 track tapes for sale... You think a Laundromat is something soft to kneel on when you wash your clothes in the creek... Your new goose down pillow was migrating south yesterday... Your local movie theater is offering "Gone With The Wind" as a first run feature presentation... Your local doctor is also the veterinarian, auto mechanic....and the school bus driver... All of your available radio stations can be on the car radio's 6 buttons---3 times... You're a witness to a spectacular car crash! Just imagine, what are the odds of both cars in the being in the same place at the same time... The term "Up North" refers to land due south of your house... You fertilize the lawn by letting the cows out of the barn... You burn your kid's Statistics text book as pornography, after all it had 1 whole chapter on standard deviations. You think that they will learn about leather, whips and sheep soon enough... You find your car when you cut your grass... You consider a six pack of beer and a bug zapper quality entertainment.... You have more insurance on your snowmobile than car... You refer to winter mittens and hat as "choppers" and a "chook", respectfully By the way, that bit about folks from Michigan passing on the right---- it's only because drivers from Wisconsin (or Ohio or Indiana) are constantly doing 57 in the left lane [Razz] [ April 20, 2004, 12:21 PM: Message edited by: Dewlanna ]
 
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