Shel_B
Site Donor 2023
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2020
- Messages
- 5,167
I was editing and deleting some files when I found these in an obscure corner of my system ... some are a little old, but still useable ...
1. The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.
2. When a kid says “Daddy, I want mommy” that’s the kid's version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.”
3. I don’t mean to interrupt people but I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
4. I thought growing old would take longer.
5. It’s weird being the same age as old people.
6. I’m at that delusional age where I think everyone my age looks way older than I do.
7. Just once I want a username and password prompt to say CLOSE ENOUGH.
8. If I am ever on life support unplug me and plug me back in and see if that works.
9. Do you ever wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and think… “That can’t be accurate.?!
10. I see people out there zip-lining and mountain climbing and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
11. Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
12. If Adam and Eve were Cajuns they would have eaten the snake instead of the Apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
13. We celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages…Metamucil and Ensure.
14. You know you are getting old when friends with benefits means having someone who can drive at night.
15. Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
16. After watching how some people wear their masks I understand why contraception fails.
17. Some of my friends exercise every day, meanwhile, I am watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.
18. For those of you that don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversation they are making a male version….it doesn’t listen to anything.
19. (removed - MOD)
20. Now that I have lived through a plague I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.
21. Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly…next week…..Turn Signals.
1. The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.
2. When a kid says “Daddy, I want mommy” that’s the kid's version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.”
3. I don’t mean to interrupt people but I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
4. I thought growing old would take longer.
5. It’s weird being the same age as old people.
6. I’m at that delusional age where I think everyone my age looks way older than I do.
7. Just once I want a username and password prompt to say CLOSE ENOUGH.
8. If I am ever on life support unplug me and plug me back in and see if that works.
9. Do you ever wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and think… “That can’t be accurate.?!
10. I see people out there zip-lining and mountain climbing and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
11. Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
12. If Adam and Eve were Cajuns they would have eaten the snake instead of the Apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
13. We celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages…Metamucil and Ensure.
14. You know you are getting old when friends with benefits means having someone who can drive at night.
15. Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
16. After watching how some people wear their masks I understand why contraception fails.
17. Some of my friends exercise every day, meanwhile, I am watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.
18. For those of you that don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversation they are making a male version….it doesn’t listen to anything.
19. (removed - MOD)
20. Now that I have lived through a plague I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.
21. Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly…next week…..Turn Signals.
Last edited by a moderator:
