Kestas
Staff member
An elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well
dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower
in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave,
presenting a well looked after image, walks into an
upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an
elderly looking lady, (mid eighties). The gentleman
walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink,
takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I
come here often?"
********************************
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for
a number of years. He went to the doctor and the
doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of
hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the
doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect.
Your family must be really pleased that you can hear
again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my
family yet. I just sit around and listen to the
conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
**********************************************
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were
sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the
other and says . . . "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and
I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you' re about
my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like
a new-born baby." "Really!? Like a new-born baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my
pants.
*******************************************************
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's
house, and after eating, the wives left the table and
went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking,
and one said, "Last night we went out to a new
restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend
it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name
of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought
and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you
give to someone you love? You know... the one that's
red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes,
that's the one," replied the man. He then turned
towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name
of that restaurant we went to last night?"
*******************************************************************
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients
being discharged. However, while working as a student
nurse, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed
and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his
feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the
hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he
reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the
way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I
don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the
bathroom changing out of her hospital gown!"
dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower
in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave,
presenting a well looked after image, walks into an
upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an
elderly looking lady, (mid eighties). The gentleman
walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink,
takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I
come here often?"
********************************
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for
a number of years. He went to the doctor and the
doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of
hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the
doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect.
Your family must be really pleased that you can hear
again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my
family yet. I just sit around and listen to the
conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
**********************************************
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were
sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the
other and says . . . "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and
I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you' re about
my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like
a new-born baby." "Really!? Like a new-born baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my
pants.
*******************************************************
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's
house, and after eating, the wives left the table and
went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking,
and one said, "Last night we went out to a new
restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend
it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name
of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought
and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you
give to someone you love? You know... the one that's
red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes,
that's the one," replied the man. He then turned
towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name
of that restaurant we went to last night?"
*******************************************************************
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients
being discharged. However, while working as a student
nurse, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed
and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his
feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the
hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he
reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the
way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I
don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the
bathroom changing out of her hospital gown!"
