It would be a great idea for the Moderators to delete this entire topic.
wife left her gmail open on firefox
- Thread starter Cutehumor
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This IS some thread!
Cutehumor, I'd say your wife has some anger issues. She's probably just venting and you're probably not the source of her anger.
She's your wife. Maybe you should try to figure out why she's venting this way? After the initial shock of reading what she has said, it's really nothing. However, she may really never find happiness in marriage. After 18 years of marriage, I like to think I speak to my wife about what's most important to me and that is her. Not a car, a house, a job or money. I hope and believe she feels the same. Reinforcing this belief allows us to talk frankly about our dissatisfactions.
If you had lived together before you married, the transistion isn't as seemless as you may have thought. Women have a totally different view of marriage than men do. That ring changes everything in their eyes. Understanding this is paramount.
As far as your sisters go, it's not that unusual. It's not ideal, but not unusual. Perhaps your sisters don't care for your wife, who knows? All the parties may have had the good sense not to bring this to your attention as there is nothing to be gained by it.
Best of luck, my friend.
Cutehumor, I'd say your wife has some anger issues. She's probably just venting and you're probably not the source of her anger.
She's your wife. Maybe you should try to figure out why she's venting this way? After the initial shock of reading what she has said, it's really nothing. However, she may really never find happiness in marriage. After 18 years of marriage, I like to think I speak to my wife about what's most important to me and that is her. Not a car, a house, a job or money. I hope and believe she feels the same. Reinforcing this belief allows us to talk frankly about our dissatisfactions.
If you had lived together before you married, the transistion isn't as seemless as you may have thought. Women have a totally different view of marriage than men do. That ring changes everything in their eyes. Understanding this is paramount.
As far as your sisters go, it's not that unusual. It's not ideal, but not unusual. Perhaps your sisters don't care for your wife, who knows? All the parties may have had the good sense not to bring this to your attention as there is nothing to be gained by it.
Best of luck, my friend.
Good advice, GM. Said it better then I did.
Reading her private correspondence was wrong. Feeling a need to tell 17,000+ total strangers about it defies all logic.
I think the opposite. Since we don't know you we can give an unbiased opinion. There's no agenda in our posts.
I concur with MrCritical. If a person needs to get something off of his chest, why not tell total strangers? Who should he tell, 50 of his closest friends?
I'm no help to this, but I just have to let you know that I'm glad I don't have this problem anymore. It's Greg's problem now. But he is a cheating SOB too, so maybe it's two peas in a pod.
Cheaters suuuuck.
Uh, yes. One close friend to talk to is better than 17,000 strangers. Call me old fashioned but I thought that's what friends are for. Maybe sharing personal matters with and asking for advice from anonymous strangers on a message board has replaced that.
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Well, everyone needs a confidant. My neighbor has chosen me as his localized "best friend". So, when stuff gets too uptight in his little world he comes and vents it out with me. I know that he loves his wife and kids ...very much so ..but his tolerance for stuff that he finds intolerable gets to him from time to time. I just sit there and give innocuous global advice on how he needs to view such frustrations ...since I know that after he's over his immediate frustrations he'll go back ...have a guilty feeling for being so critical ..and reset the counter for the next session of "I've had it with her bad habits".
A confidant provides a blow off valve. They won't solve the root cause of the pressure. That needs to be done by the principles involved. Expressing how things make you "feel" is an important evolution in communication between each other. We often find ourselves having "nervous reactions" to things that annoy us. You know ..the stuff that just gnaws on you until you twitch ..you have a fight that has nothing to do with addressing the fundamentals
"You keep doing this!!"
"Well, you do this!!"
Sorta a hostile offering of offsetting penalties ..meanwhile you're both rationalizing the insult to the other and not understanding why the behaviors keep poking to the surface nor the impact upon the other. She doesn't know why the behavior annoys you ..just that you twitch every so often because of it. Same thing in reverse. Typically neither see past halfway on it.
I think you also have to really be somewhat candid in your own self evaluation. Most people that I know look in the mirror and see a perfectly balanced person in the reflection. It's a very rare bird that sees someone that they don't like ..at least to the point where it's going to change their behavior.
I'd still treat this as a challenge with a fiendish smile on my face.
My wife often says that she's trapped in the vortex of ****. I say that she's correct ..and that I'll never release her from her bonds of slavery ..and she had better just get used to it ..and make the best of it.
Lines I've used when she complains:
Look, you don't have to beg ..it's embarrassing. I'll punish you later. I promise!
I've allowed you to remove your Roman slave bangles. Please don't make it necessary for me to go to the branding method of establishing my ownership.
I'll never release you from your "BONDS" (said in the way Lady Jessica said it in Dune as they were being take to the desert "First cut my son's bonds.").
and paraphrased from Roy Batty in Bladerunner..
"I'll do questionable things" as she's swatting me away for talking naughty.
Like I said, it's tough work riding ramrod on the kingdom
A confidant provides a blow off valve. They won't solve the root cause of the pressure. That needs to be done by the principles involved. Expressing how things make you "feel" is an important evolution in communication between each other. We often find ourselves having "nervous reactions" to things that annoy us. You know ..the stuff that just gnaws on you until you twitch ..you have a fight that has nothing to do with addressing the fundamentals
"You keep doing this!!"
"Well, you do this!!"
Sorta a hostile offering of offsetting penalties ..meanwhile you're both rationalizing the insult to the other and not understanding why the behaviors keep poking to the surface nor the impact upon the other. She doesn't know why the behavior annoys you ..just that you twitch every so often because of it. Same thing in reverse. Typically neither see past halfway on it.
I think you also have to really be somewhat candid in your own self evaluation. Most people that I know look in the mirror and see a perfectly balanced person in the reflection. It's a very rare bird that sees someone that they don't like ..at least to the point where it's going to change their behavior.
I'd still treat this as a challenge with a fiendish smile on my face.
My wife often says that she's trapped in the vortex of ****. I say that she's correct ..and that I'll never release her from her bonds of slavery ..and she had better just get used to it ..and make the best of it.
Lines I've used when she complains:
Look, you don't have to beg ..it's embarrassing. I'll punish you later. I promise!
I've allowed you to remove your Roman slave bangles. Please don't make it necessary for me to go to the branding method of establishing my ownership.
I'll never release you from your "BONDS" (said in the way Lady Jessica said it in Dune as they were being take to the desert "First cut my son's bonds.").
and paraphrased from Roy Batty in Bladerunner..
"I'll do questionable things" as she's swatting me away for talking naughty.
Like I said, it's tough work riding ramrod on the kingdom
As marriages go, this is small potatoes.
Keep it in your hip pocket. If, someday, you're in a LOT of trouble---and I mean the kind of trouble that would make reading her email seem petty---then you MAY consider pulling this one out to see if you can't gain some leverage.
Even then, I think I'd just take my lumps and keep my mouth shut.
But that's just me.
Keep it in your hip pocket. If, someday, you're in a LOT of trouble---and I mean the kind of trouble that would make reading her email seem petty---then you MAY consider pulling this one out to see if you can't gain some leverage.
Even then, I think I'd just take my lumps and keep my mouth shut.
But that's just me.
If I recall correctly mssparks' story is similar to mine, an unfaithful wife who cheated with a married man, resulting in divorce, perhaps filed by the unfaithful wife.
Certainly in my former marriage, there was nothing that could not be worked out if two adults were to come to the table and take their vows seriously, including the explict promises to put the other first, being 100% open and honest about how you think and feel.
While such venting might be small potatoes, if the OP's wife doesn't learn how to share these things in a healthy and respectful fashion with her husband, I personally believe the marriage will get worse, not better.
Marriage is not about secrets, it's about two becoming one, working together, growing together, living together and loving together.
Sharing your vents with your friends is not a tactic that usually results in a couple growing closer together.
If one thinks their spouse cannot take it, then either they are making a disrespectful judgment about the maturity of their spouse, or they do not know how to share honestly in a loving fashion, and are instead being inconsiderate and disrespectful.
Intimacy is not just about sex, it's about two people being able to share anything.
It's about me being able to tell oilbabe when she asks if "these jeans make my behind look fat" that it's not the jeans, but her big behind (if she had one.)
That is intimacy, being able to say anything, and knowing that our spouse has our best interests at heart.
However, that has to be shared with the spouse and the spouse alone, not a selected collection of outsiders.
Sharing with outsiders is especially dangerous when done with members of the opposite sex.
I realize this is not the case here, but if the boundary about sharing outside the marriage is already breached, one is one step closer to sharing with men, instead of women, potentially leading to an emotional and perhaps physical affair.
Trust me, I've lived this, and it's no fun.
Propflux01
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Besides, if you tell her you read it, It will NEVER be forgotten by her that you 'invaded' her privacy, and that is something she will remind you of constantly...
I agree 1000000000%. Relationships are about TRUST, PERIOD. Two loving people should be able to talk about the trivial stuff like this to each other's faces. When there are bigger fish to fry, how do you know what's going on ad whether you can talk about it? Face to face communication about matters small and BIG is essential.
You can do what you want to, but if I found emails where my wife, let alone my girlfriend was saying I;m stupid and this and that, I'd have a seriously candid conversation with her to see how she really feels and to have her say it to my face.
Like it's been said, imagine the rolls reversed here. Women want us to be so open and forthright with our feelings, emotions (especially!), and TRUTH, yet they so often turn around and do this kind of ----.
I'm with coot.
just make a few printouts and keep them locked up for a rainy day when youre getting divorced.
And I take back what I said earlier...
you probably shouldn't show her this thread.
Remember what Rumsfeld said: "We don't know what we don't know until we know what we don't know..." or some such nonsense. Her emails are something that you shouldn't have seen !!!!
That being said, what to do now ??...
you probably shouldn't show her this thread.
Remember what Rumsfeld said: "We don't know what we don't know until we know what we don't know..." or some such nonsense. Her emails are something that you shouldn't have seen !!!!
That being said, what to do now ??...
Funny, you guys don't mind the government reading your emails....
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