What are you doing right now?

Thanks for the support I know you understand.

It hasn’t been pretty the last couple of years and of course only getting worse. I’ve already decided to die young to get out of all this. 🤔
Looking back, I had a chance to escape in 2015. Had a heart attack Easter Sunday 2015- actually a day before but I said if I wake up tomorrow, I will go in... I shouldn't have. I get home and my dad which was never sick keeps rubbing his sides/ His loser doctor told him everybody your age hurts- really the guy was a complete jerk- no bedside manner at all. Three months after me he dies of undiagnosed stomach cancer with no attempt to help him. You know they knew......

My mother remained calm but got AFib from the shock of both of us. Yet another bad doctor known as the best puts her on a then new drug which slowly destroyed her lungs. She lives five years in a wheelchair and only I take care of her 24/7. The rest of the family couldn't be bothered. She has 7 cardiac arrests and makes me swear to revive her. I did but I felt I was torturing her. During CV19 she was passed around as nobody wanted the liability. She died 200 miles away and no one was allowed to visit her not even clergy.
The last year she was on a tracheostomy tube and unable to talk. Left to die alone.
I visited every day during the early cv years in many hospitals and care facilities. Looking back 2015 would have been a great year to check out... Later I met @AutoMechanic and death appeared to be actually pleasurable.
 
Looking back, I had a chance to escape in 2015. Had a heart attack Easter Sunday 2015- actually a day before but I said if I wake up tomorrow, I will go in... I shouldn't have. I get home and my dad which was never sick keeps rubbing his sides/ His loser doctor told him everybody your age hurts- really the guy was a complete jerk- no bedside manner at all. Three months after me he dies of undiagnosed stomach cancer with no attempt to help him. You know they knew......

My mother remained calm but got AFib from the shock of both of us. Yet another bad doctor known as the best puts her on a then new drug which slowly destroyed her lungs. She lives five years in a wheelchair and only I take care of her 24/7. The rest of the family couldn't be bothered. She has 7 cardiac arrests and makes me swear to revive her. I did but I felt I was torturing her. During CV19 she was passed around as nobody wanted the liability. She died 200 miles away and no one was allowed to visit her not even clergy.
The last year she was on a tracheostomy tube and unable to talk. Left to die alone.
I visited every day during the early cv years in many hospitals and care facilities. Looking back 2015 would have been a great year to check out... Later I met @AutoMechanic and death appeared to be actually pleasurable.

I’m sorry you went through all that. 😕. And your folks.

I've got no love for the medical circus we’ve created in this country. Lots of really good people working in it though, not to disparage them, but the system sucks.
 
I’m sorry you went through all that. 😕. And your folks.

I've got no love for the medical circus we’ve created in this country. Lots of really good people working in it though, not to disparage them, but the system sucks.
At our age they are all too happy to just let you go especially if you have no insurance or a bad paying one.
Last year I renewed my license and for several reasons I was no longer going to be an organ donor.
Now they harvest organs before you die......
It's a big money racket...
The WRK pulled her nonsense after my heart attack and I told her so long. The hospital threatened her to quit calling me or the police would pay her a visit in Florida.

When it rains it pours 🫗
Best of luck KC and yes that is an unlawful directive....
 
Looks like some pain coming my way....I can hang..

1000016624.webp
 
That home brew weed killer is crazy
I have purchased commercial weed killer that did nothing for days

I shot this on the weeds this morning
I was shocked 4 hrs later it looked like this.....

1000016628.webp
 
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Looking back, I had a chance to escape in 2015. Had a heart attack Easter Sunday 2015- actually a day before but I said if I wake up tomorrow, I will go in... I shouldn't have. I get home and my dad which was never sick keeps rubbing his sides/ His loser doctor told him everybody your age hurts- really the guy was a complete jerk- no bedside manner at all. Three months after me he dies of undiagnosed stomach cancer with no attempt to help him. You know they knew......

My mother remained calm but got AFib from the shock of both of us. Yet another bad doctor known as the best puts her on a then new drug which slowly destroyed her lungs. She lives five years in a wheelchair and only I take care of her 24/7. The rest of the family couldn't be bothered. She has 7 cardiac arrests and makes me swear to revive her. I did but I felt I was torturing her. During CV19 she was passed around as nobody wanted the liability. She died 200 miles away and no one was allowed to visit her not even clergy.
The last year she was on a tracheostomy tube and unable to talk. Left to die alone.
I visited every day during the early cv years in many hospitals and care facilities. Looking back 2015 would have been a great year to check out... Later I met @AutoMechanic and death appeared to be actually pleasurable.

That all sounds familiar. I'll just say your parents knew you did the best you could for them. That's all that matters.

When I was the 24/7 caregiver for my folks, I was fortunate that the wife could take care of our kids by herself. I wasn't far away, but with the CV19 in particular, we had no actual contact for a couple years. As my dad had no immune system to speak of, due to the chemo. Anything, even a simple cold, could've killed him. So no physical contact with anyone in the outside world.

Even though those times were extremely tough, I have no regrets.
 
That all sounds familiar. I'll just say your parents knew you did the best you could for them. That's all that matters.

When I was the 24/7 caregiver for my folks, I was fortunate that the wife could take care of our kids by herself. I wasn't far away, but with the CV19 in particular, we had no actual contact for a couple years. As my dad had no immune system to speak of, due to the chemo. Anything, even a simple cold, could've killed him. So no physical contact with anyone in the outside world.

Even though those times were extremely tough, I have no regrets.
I agree...it was a struggle at times to see the decline. My regret is those that took from them for many years cared not to help them. Their lives could have been much better if others just stepped up...that still bothers me today......one day I'll let it go.
Me and my cousin are the only ones that visit and maintain their graves to this day....
 
I agree...it was a struggle at times to see the decline. My regret is those that took from them for many years cared not to help them. Their lives could have been much better if others just stepped up...that still bothers me today......one day I'll let it go.
Me and my cousin are the only ones that visit and maintain their graves to this day....

I have two older sisters. The younger of the two helped a little bit, the other, a Social Worker, didn't help at all. In fact she went around trash talking me to her social media, and extended family. Fortunately the extended family know she's a psychotic narcissist. Ironic in a Social Worker...

The followers of her Social Media, by and large also know the reality of the situation. She's an angry, sad individual, who has nobody to blame but herself. I spent most of my life being here abusee, while trying to get along with her to keep peace in the family, to no avail. I took my dad's advice to forgive her, and told her so after our parents passed. I have no contact with her, other than calling to wish her a happy birthday, but she never answers or responds.

She's never been married, and lives alone with her dogs and cats.

I'm no longer angry with her, I just truly feel sorry for her.
 
I have two older sisters. The younger of the two helped a little bit, the other, a Social Worker, didn't help at all. In fact she went around trash talking me to her social media, and extended family. Fortunately the extended family know she's a psychotic narcissist. Ironic in a Social Worker...

The followers of her Social Media, by and large also know the reality of the situation. She's an angry, sad individual, who has nobody to blame but herself. I spent most of my life being here abusee, while trying to get along with her to keep peace in the family, to no avail. I took my dad's advice to forgive her, and told her so after our parents passed. I have no contact with her, other than calling to wish her a happy birthday, but she never answers or responds.

She's never been married, and lives alone with her dogs and cats.

I'm no longer angry with her, I just truly feel sorry for her.
Me, two older brothers...Falls right inline with your story....really.....
 
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