Sitting here today cleaning out my desk and came across a notebook in the bottom most drawer, burried under all the stuff in it. Couldn't remember what it even was until I opened it and looked through it and then I remembered. Brought back a lot of memories.
Back in the late 90's a group of my friends "acting with the best of intentions" decided I needed a girlfriend despite my repeated statements that I was happy being single. They went online( Yahoo personals )and created a profile for me and started sending messages out to women they thought I would like( pretending to be me ). Once they were done they let me know and told me to watch my e-mail for responses.
Man was I livid with them. I didn't talk to them for months after that. Their hearts may have been in the right place but their heads were firmly wedged up their keesters. THAT was their stupid things done when young. Mine was how I handled it with the women who responded. In the notebook I discovered all the e-mails I had sent back and forth with them that I had printed and saved( can't remember why I printed them and saved them now? - maybe to keep what I said to each of them straight = reference ). I started reading through some of them and was shocked at what a tool I was.
Initially I let them all know that I had not sent the original message to them; that it was my idiot friends trying to fix me up. I should have said right then that I had NO INTEREST in a relationship and ended it. Instead, I kept on writing back and forth with those who responded back to that message. They all thought it was cute that my friends did that and how I was so embarrassed by it and such. They started asking me about myself and telling me about themselves. Like a moron I answered and kept it up.
No idea why either as I had zero romantic interest in any of them. To my young stupid mind I was just being nice I guess and I had told them it wasn't me initially so I guess I thought I was clear. Reading the stuff I sent though it comes across as if I was flirting big time and leading them on. To make it worse I sent all of them Valentines that year and a bunch of cute pictures of my dog. Yes, I did that like an idiot. Even the "enthusiastic responses" to those didn't alert me to what THEY thought I was doing and meant.
They started to ask me to meet in person to do stuff, a couple asked me out for dinner( one wanted her parents to come and meet me ), another wanted me to meet her kids, and the scariest one was the lady that asked me to be her date to her Sister's wedding! YIKES! I was stunned that women I had never met would ask me some of that stuff. Meeting to do something or for dinner ok( that is just a date and how many people meet )but wedding dates, meet the parents and kids, etc... was way too soon and spooky. It all freaked me out.
It all sort of came to a head around the same time with all of them and I FINALLY realized I had been leading them on( and doing an amazing job of it I guess - I couldn't have a run like that with the ladies if I tried! - still don't know how I did it? ). I got real stupid then. I panicked and started to ignore them all hoping they would go away. Only a couple finally stopped e-mailing. The rest sounded so upset and worried I finally had to respond. I was pretty awful. Not rude or mean, I just cut it all off right then and there basically blaming them for misunderstanding. A couple sent angry responses, 2 asked that I give it a chance, and the rest walked away and I never heard anything from them again.
I really feel bad, even now all these years later, over how I handled it. I was young and stupid. Inexperienced too. Reading the things I wrote to them now I am like "what were you doing?????". I think it bothers me the most that I lead a single Mom on. That is so uncool and she even mentioned she had kids in the 1st message just so I knew and could walk away then if I wanted. Even THAT didn't give me a clue they weren't interested in a pen pal like I guess I was thinking we would be. I deserve the dunce of the year award for all of this I guess.
Anyway, it was a long time ago but seeing those e-mails again and remembering what I did doesn't make me very proud of myself. I never intended to lead any of them on or anything but I ended up doing just that. No real loss for them though as I never was and am not now a catch. When I realized what had happened instead of being nice and fixing it I was a total jerk to them so they would go away. Not a high point of my life.
So, to Sandra, Laura, Jeannie, Lori, Christine, Sharon, Morrza, and Samantha my long overdue apologies where ever you may be ladies. I hope you found the happiness you were looking for.
Now I know why women always call men jerks. Because we do stuff like this.
I have shredded those e-mails now and it is now all relegated to the past where it belongs. Never thought when I woke up this morning I would take such a sucky walk down memory lane.
NOTE - I know this has nothing to do with oil and cars. We talk about all kinds of stuff here. I just found the notebook today and it just struck me what a jerk I was. Makes me wonder if others have done stupid things like that when they were young they now look back on with regret and think "WHAT WAS I DOING???".
Back in the late 90's a group of my friends "acting with the best of intentions" decided I needed a girlfriend despite my repeated statements that I was happy being single. They went online( Yahoo personals )and created a profile for me and started sending messages out to women they thought I would like( pretending to be me ). Once they were done they let me know and told me to watch my e-mail for responses.
Man was I livid with them. I didn't talk to them for months after that. Their hearts may have been in the right place but their heads were firmly wedged up their keesters. THAT was their stupid things done when young. Mine was how I handled it with the women who responded. In the notebook I discovered all the e-mails I had sent back and forth with them that I had printed and saved( can't remember why I printed them and saved them now? - maybe to keep what I said to each of them straight = reference ). I started reading through some of them and was shocked at what a tool I was.
Initially I let them all know that I had not sent the original message to them; that it was my idiot friends trying to fix me up. I should have said right then that I had NO INTEREST in a relationship and ended it. Instead, I kept on writing back and forth with those who responded back to that message. They all thought it was cute that my friends did that and how I was so embarrassed by it and such. They started asking me about myself and telling me about themselves. Like a moron I answered and kept it up.
No idea why either as I had zero romantic interest in any of them. To my young stupid mind I was just being nice I guess and I had told them it wasn't me initially so I guess I thought I was clear. Reading the stuff I sent though it comes across as if I was flirting big time and leading them on. To make it worse I sent all of them Valentines that year and a bunch of cute pictures of my dog. Yes, I did that like an idiot. Even the "enthusiastic responses" to those didn't alert me to what THEY thought I was doing and meant.
They started to ask me to meet in person to do stuff, a couple asked me out for dinner( one wanted her parents to come and meet me ), another wanted me to meet her kids, and the scariest one was the lady that asked me to be her date to her Sister's wedding! YIKES! I was stunned that women I had never met would ask me some of that stuff. Meeting to do something or for dinner ok( that is just a date and how many people meet )but wedding dates, meet the parents and kids, etc... was way too soon and spooky. It all freaked me out.
It all sort of came to a head around the same time with all of them and I FINALLY realized I had been leading them on( and doing an amazing job of it I guess - I couldn't have a run like that with the ladies if I tried! - still don't know how I did it? ). I got real stupid then. I panicked and started to ignore them all hoping they would go away. Only a couple finally stopped e-mailing. The rest sounded so upset and worried I finally had to respond. I was pretty awful. Not rude or mean, I just cut it all off right then and there basically blaming them for misunderstanding. A couple sent angry responses, 2 asked that I give it a chance, and the rest walked away and I never heard anything from them again.
I really feel bad, even now all these years later, over how I handled it. I was young and stupid. Inexperienced too. Reading the things I wrote to them now I am like "what were you doing?????". I think it bothers me the most that I lead a single Mom on. That is so uncool and she even mentioned she had kids in the 1st message just so I knew and could walk away then if I wanted. Even THAT didn't give me a clue they weren't interested in a pen pal like I guess I was thinking we would be. I deserve the dunce of the year award for all of this I guess.
Anyway, it was a long time ago but seeing those e-mails again and remembering what I did doesn't make me very proud of myself. I never intended to lead any of them on or anything but I ended up doing just that. No real loss for them though as I never was and am not now a catch. When I realized what had happened instead of being nice and fixing it I was a total jerk to them so they would go away. Not a high point of my life.
So, to Sandra, Laura, Jeannie, Lori, Christine, Sharon, Morrza, and Samantha my long overdue apologies where ever you may be ladies. I hope you found the happiness you were looking for.
Now I know why women always call men jerks. Because we do stuff like this.
NOTE - I know this has nothing to do with oil and cars. We talk about all kinds of stuff here. I just found the notebook today and it just struck me what a jerk I was. Makes me wonder if others have done stupid things like that when they were young they now look back on with regret and think "WHAT WAS I DOING???".
