"Thank You" no longer a thing?

[Dave P.]

I'm 67 and finding that many times when I think people should acknowledge a gift, it just doesn't happen.
My good friend's (I was his Best Man) daughter got married a couple of years ago but it was in Georgia and I responded that I could not attend. I did send a check to the bride and groom for $200.00 which I thought was sufficient for a wedding I wasn't going to. Since I didn't know where they would be living, I sent it to my buddy's house so he knew I sent "something". The check was cashed but no thank you note was ever sent.
I attended my boss' son's pre-wedding dance party not too long ago. They are Indian and there are many events surrounding the actual wedding. For this dance party ceremony, I also gave $200.00. No thank you, again. The wedding was in Italy so for that, I wasn't even invited, thankfully.
I just recently finished 40 sessions of Physical Therapy for a knee injury. At the conclusion, I gave the therapist/co-owner a card on my way out the door for the last time. In the card were four Amazon gift cards for $50.00 each; one for the therapist, one for the front desk person, and one each for the two gym aids that set up the exercise equipment. Once again, no thank you from anyone.
My other good friend's (he was my Best Man) daughter had a baby 3 weeks ago. For her, I got two baby outfits, a stuffed animal toy carefully chosen with no buttons or other attachments that could come loose and pose a choking hazard. I also put a $100.00 Amazon gift card in the actual card.
So far, no thanks from her either but in her case, there's still time.
While I don't do these things solely to receive a "thank you", I do feel it is rude when people don't acknowledge the gift, or the time spent getting the gift. Am I expecting too much? I don't think so. All these people have my cell number and/or email. They don't have to go to Hallmark and buy a card for $5.99 just to say thanks, a simple text or email costs nothing and takes perhaps 2 minutes, tops!
Oh well, I'm done ranting. Thanks for listening!

 

[Kira]

Yup. I've noticed the same phenomenon.

 

[doitmyself]

I'm about the same age and work with lots of young people. I've been advocating/mentoring them to use Thank You. I also find that few people use "you're welcome" anymore, so I've been preaching that also. Instead many people reply "that's o.k.", "no problem", etc..

Good,but sad rant on your part. Sad regarding no responses. Geez. I get thank you's when I give out home made maple syrup and apple cider to people I appreciate.

 

[Zee09]

Same here. It's been that way for easily 25 years.
I thank people for Xmas cards and send them one as well.

 

[alarmguy]

@Dave P.
I hear you. I get it, I find it strange too, in my own life. Seems weird, we grew up in a different time when we were taught to ackowledge gifts and it was a feel good thing giving gifts.

It used to bother me but do you know what I do now? No thank you or reciprocation? Accept it and give less to nothing in the future. Meaning if I am not feeling the gratification of giving to anyone even to family members I cut back what I give. I will always send a card if it's a family members. A gift is a feel good thing, if your not feeling it, dont give it.

 

[JeffKeryk]

It seems that many well intentioned people do not offer a simple thank you, but many do. Is it disappointing? Yeah it is. And it goes further than this; oftentimes people seem to feel entitled.
For me the bottom line is, the act of giving is its own reward. What others do or don't do is none of my concern.

 

[Boomer]

We really work with our 9 and 12 year old grandsons on their manners! They both know to say thank you and you're welcome and to acknowledge gifts.

 

[Urshurak776]

If it bothers anyone, then consider why you need validation from others to be fulfilled. Like @JeffKeryk said, doing something for others is it's own reward.

Is it disappointing? Yup. But just another step towards the firey hole our society is heading towards.
We're doomed!

 

[alarmguy]

If it bothers anyone, then consider why you need validation from others to be fulfilled. Like @JeffKeryk said, doing something for others is it's own reward.

Why? Because we are all different and not the same as @JeffKeryk
For him giving is its own reward at least as you say anyway.

For me giving is the reward but the response of appreciation is the confirmation

 

[JeffKeryk]

@alarmguy Thank G for small miracles, right?

 

[Urshurak776]

Why? Because we are all different and not the same as @JeffKeryk
For him giving is its own reward at least as you say anyway.

For me giving is the reward but the response of appreciation is the confirmation

Well, not sure what to tell ya. See the first part of my comment you quoted.

Also, we should all be more like @JeffKeryk ! LOL

 

[alarmguy]

Well, not sure what to tell ya. See the first part of my comment you quoted.

Also, we should all be more like @JeffKeryk ! LOL

Nor I you if you dont understand

 

[Urshurak776]

Nor I you if you dont understand

Thank you.

I totally understand. I just don't let it bother me. Nobody else is responsible for your feelings. I always say Thank You to people.

 

[JeffKeryk]

Also, we should all be more like @JeffKeryk ! LOL

Heaven forbid.

 

[Passport1]

@Dave P. , thank you. Your lamentation is a gift to all those that still value good manners.

 

[racer12306]

As one of the younger members (39), I find it rude. It's great that you are able and wanting to give non-trivial gifts to these situations.

I can't say that I'd send a card, but I'd at least text someone, but that's also proportionate to the gift.

Making a huge assumption, but I feel like if you sent nothing in a couple of those situations, it would've been an issue. It's a general mentality that a gift is due. It's a hard thing to teach your kids, especially when you have grandparents that spoil your kids. Kids are like oo I'm seeing so and so, I bet they have something for me and we have to temper expectations and tell them appreciate time with them, and then they get them something lol

 

[ARCOgraphite]

I never expect a thank you, but my inlaws and my family were well raised to be courteous, and I see my wife getting hand-written thank you cards from bridal and baby shower gifts and weddings we attended.
To the O.P., I don't think you should give gifts to hospital workers. I did this once and was sternly reprimanded by someone in the office. That response mad me angry by the way this was handled - I don't have the employee handbook!

 

[Dave P.]

If it bothers anyone, then consider why you need validation from others to be fulfilled. Like @JeffKeryk said, doing something for others is it's own reward.

Is it disappointing? Yup. But just another step towards the firey hole our society is heading towards.
We're doomed!

I don't consider it to be validation, just good manners. It is the way that I was brought up by my parents. To me, the lack of manners and common decency does not bode well. I see the same lack of manners on the highway every day on my way home from work. Traffic can be inching along at 2 mph and drivers still refuse to let a car merge even when they have every right to do so. What is the rush!?

 

[burbguy82]

Selfishness, and entitlement. A thank you is not a repayment, it is an acknowledgement.

To say that an acknowledgement is or should not be nessessary, is silly.

 

[jeepman3071]

As one of the younger members (39), I find it rude. It's great that you are able and wanting to give non-trivial gifts to these situations.

I can't say that I'd send a card, but I'd at least text someone, but that's also proportionate to the gift.

Making a huge assumption, but I feel like if you sent nothing in a couple of those situations, it would've been an issue. It's a general mentality that a gift is due. It's a hard thing to teach your kids, especially when you have grandparents that spoil your kids. Kids are like oo I'm seeing so and so, I bet they have something for me and we have to temper expectations and tell them appreciate time with them, and then they get them something lol

I'm 33, and agree with it being rude. I was raised to be polite. I see rude people of all ages, not just younger people. One of my younger sisters is 24 and just got married. I have a huge family, there were 200 people at the wedding and several who could not attend but sent gifts. She spent weeks writing invitations.