If you want to know who loves you more, put your dog and your spouse in the trunk for a while. Then when you open up the trunk, you'll notice which of them is more happy to see you.
Stupidest jokes - Please contribute
- Thread starter vavavroom
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A guy see a plasma T.V. for sale cheap on Craigslist, so he calls the seller, then goes
that afternoon to check it out.
The T.V. looks like new, so the guy says, "You said cheap, how much are you asking?"
The seller replies, "Only a dollar, but there is a problem, the speaker volume is stuck on 10!"
The guy says, "Wow! that is cheap! You say the volume is stuck on 10?"
The seller says, "Yep"
Guy says, "That's a T.V. I can't turn down!"
that afternoon to check it out.
The T.V. looks like new, so the guy says, "You said cheap, how much are you asking?"
The seller replies, "Only a dollar, but there is a problem, the speaker volume is stuck on 10!"
The guy says, "Wow! that is cheap! You say the volume is stuck on 10?"
The seller says, "Yep"
Guy says, "That's a T.V. I can't turn down!"
Where does a waitress with only one leg work?
IHOP.
IHOP.
A frog wants to get a loan so he grabs a small statue off of the mantle of his fireplace and goes to the bank. The loan officer is Ms. Patricia Whack and she asks the frog what he has for collateral. The frog shows her the statue and she says that's not acceptable collateral. The frog asks if there's someone else he can talk to, so Patricia calls in her manager. The manager comes in and the frog asks him for a loan. The manager asks what the frog has for collateral and the frog points to the statue on the desk. The manager says "That's a knick-knack, Patty Whack; give the frog a loan."
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the water? Bob
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying on your porch? Matt
What do you all a guy with no arms and no legs stashed in your mailbox? Bill
What do you call 2 guys with no arms and no legs, hanging in front of your window? Curt & Rod
What do you all a dog with no legs? What's the point of naming him? It's not like he's going to come running when you call.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying on your porch? Matt
What do you all a guy with no arms and no legs stashed in your mailbox? Bill
What do you call 2 guys with no arms and no legs, hanging in front of your window? Curt & Rod
What do you all a dog with no legs? What's the point of naming him? It's not like he's going to come running when you call.
Is it cold out"
I don't know, I didn't take it out.
I don't know, I didn't take it out.
Why don't blind people skydive?
It scares the dogs
It scares the dogs
manicrodder
$50 site donor 2022
A guy asks his passenger to check if his taillights are blinkng.
Upon checking he says, “ yes, no, yes, no……”.
Upon checking he says, “ yes, no, yes, no……”.
Always did this when I was a tech and a collegue asked if the blinkers worked... which makes sense as they could be stuck on
I don't want to have to see the fat lady who does sensitivity training at Human Resources. She's got a poorly shaven mustache and smells of scented talcum powder and mothballs.
What you do call a guy with no arms and legs flying over a fence; Homer.
How about a girl with one leg shorter than the other; Ilene;
How about a girl with one leg shorter than the other; Ilene;
My FIL when hearing someone complaining how tough their steak was would say either tougher where there is none or meats so tough you can`t cut the gravy.
Both of those are real good.
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Woman with no arms and legs laying on a stove? Patti
What is the difference between a large pizza and a jazz musician?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
why did JS Bach have so many children?
He had no stops on his organ.
He had no stops on his organ.
Turns out my grandma is 80% Irish...
we called her Iris...
we called her Iris...
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