Stupidest jokes - Please contribute

Status
Not open for further replies.
Our son kept chewing on electrical cords, so we had to ground him.

I was shocked when this happened. His mom and I alternated back and forth on how to handle the situation; needless to say it got us all amped up.

He's doing better currently and is conducting himself properly.
 
Shel_B said:
A plane is on its way to Toronto, when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down. The flight attendant sees her do this, and asks to see her ticket.

He then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to stay right here.

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in economy, and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "You say she is a blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy..

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

"I told her softly, ‘First Class isn't going to Toronto.’”
Click to expand...
Awesome !!!
 
A man hires a blonde to paint stripes down a road but she has to keep the contract and do at least 4 miles each day. The first day the blonde does 8 miles and the boss is extremely impressed. The second day the blonde does 4 miles and the boss is somewhat impressed but not as much as before. The third day the blonde does 2 miles and the boss thinks she's just having a bad day so he still lets her keep the job. On the fourth day the blonde only does one mile and the boss asks "You were doing so well before why aren't you doing well now?" She replies "I can't get far because each day I'm getting further and further away from the bucket."
 
The county extension man goes to visit a farm way out in the country. When he gets there, he needs to use the outhouse, but the hired hand is already in there. When asked how much longer he'll be, the hired hand says "C'mon in, it's a 2-holer". So the county extension man enters the outhouse and has a seat. A minute later, the hired hand stands up, and as he pulls up his pants, a quarter tumbles out of his pocket and down the hole. He grumbles something under his breath, takes out a $20 bill, and throws that down the hole. Shocked, the county extension man asks "Why on Earth did you throw $20 down there???" The hired hand replied "Well, I'm sure as heck not going down there just for twenty-five cents!:
 
6957F514-D90A-4A07-A7DE-F63A0224A703.jpeg
 
The teacher asks the 2nd graders, "Who can name five animals that live in Australia?"
Timmy raises his hand and says, " One koala and four kangaroos."
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

billt460
My Dog Passed Away Yesterday
2 3 4
Replies
71
Views
2K
billt460
shortyb
Guess its my turn, lost a dog buddy
2
Replies
26
Views
526
alarmguy
GON
  • Locked
HOW TO DRIVE IN ATLANTA:
Replies
9
Views
990
SeaJay
G
Curb find : Stihl blower
2
Replies
26
Views
2K
jeepman3071
Zee09
The World Was Shocked That Day My Friends
Replies
16
Views
2K
Zee09
Back
Top