Some really bad news about dad

[StevieC]

Originally Posted by 53' Stude
Yeah, my dad loves staying busy. Now he is retired and has tons of free time

My dad still does a lot for someone with Cancer toward the end stages. He is slowing down and getting tired a lot more easily than before and days consist of multiple naps but he's still up at the crack of dawn doing this/that. Up until last year he was still making tomato sauce, Shepard peppers, sausages and home made wine for pretty much the whole family on his side (really large) and us.

I get tired just thinking of the energy he used to have.

 

[53' Stude]

Originally Posted by StevieC
Originally Posted by 53' Stude
Yeah, my dad loves staying busy. Now he is retired and has tons of free time

My dad still does a lot for someone with Cancer toward the end stages. He is slowing down and getting tired a lot more easily than before and days consist of multiple naps but he's still up at the crack of dawn doing this/that. Up until last year he was still making tomato sauce, Shepard peppers, sausages and home made wine for pretty much the whole family on his side (really large) and us.

I get tired just thinking of the energy he used to have.

Yeah, i think what helps my dad us he always has been skinny for a 5ft 8 man

 

[ZZman]

Sorry.....I think cancer has touched everyone in some fashion....

 

[miden851]

@ZZman, totally!

I've lost my mom back to 2013; she had severe form a colon cancer that ultimately spread to her liver; she had fought it for 18 months, with 33 chemo; I've witnessed her dying slowly for time being; She was 66

OP I feel your pain...

 

[StevieC]

Originally Posted by ZZman
Sorry.....I think cancer has touched everyone in some fashion....

Yeah. Someone knows someone directly or indirectly. It's crazy the incident rate.

 

[Fifth87]

I don't post all that often, but where I lost my Dad to cancer, I want to extend my thoughts and prayers to you.
One thing I wish I had the opportunity to do, but didn't- was ask questions. Ask as many as you can think of, of whatever is of importance to you, to him, that only your Dad will have the answers to.
So when time goes by and you wonder about a topic, you may have that answer. It could also be possibly be helpful to your siblings if/when conversations arise in the future.
More than once, I have been frustrated by a lack of answers or knowledge about my Dad because of it..

 

[53' Stude]

StevieC: I'll continue to keep your father in my thoughts and pray for him. God bless

 

[StevieC]

Originally Posted by Fifth87
I don't post all that often, but where I lost my Dad to cancer, I want to extend my thoughts and prayers to you.
One thing I wish I had the opportunity to do, but didn't- was ask questions. Ask as many as you can think of, of whatever is of importance to you, to him, that only your Dad will have the answers to.
So when time goes by and you wonder about a topic, you may have that answer. It could also be possibly be helpful to your siblings if/when conversations arise in the future.
More than once, I have been frustrated by a lack of answers or knowledge about my Dad because of it..


Thanks very much!

Originally Posted by 53' Stude
StevieC: I'll continue to keep your father in my thoughts and pray for him. God bless

Thank you.

 

[JHZR2]

I cannot fathom. So sorry.

It's one thing to grow old. Another to hear and see this happen. Can't imagine.

 

[StevieC]

Thanks JHZR2.

 

[Garak]

Take care, Stevie. I wish I had some answers, but I don't. Both my parents succumbed years back. My mom fought for a dog's age, like your dad, whereas my dad went really quickly. Enjoy the time you have left; that's about the only piece of wisdom I can impart.

 

[StevieC]

Thanks Garak.

 

[53' Stude]

Originally Posted by Garak
Take care, Stevie. I wish I had some answers, but I don't. Both my parents succumbed years back. My mom fought for a dog's age, like your dad, whereas my dad went really quickly. Enjoy the time you have left; that's about the only piece of wisdom I can impart.


Spot on post my Canadian comrade

Could not have said it better

 

[slug_bug]

Sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis Stevie. I've lost both my parents now and I recently experienced something that made me think "man I wish I had done that". My cousin sat down with my 98 year old aunt, who is as sharp as a tack, and had an interview style conversation with her about her life. She recorded this conversation on a video camera. Nothing fancy, just set the camera on a tripod, pointed it at her and started talking. Where did you go to school, who were your friends, what were your brothers and sisters like, what were your favorite games, what was your first job, how did you get it, first car, favorite car? Many of the topics she brought up were stories we had heard before and she built off that.

The point of this is that my dad lived to 81, we had dinner with him with the whole family once a week. He told many stories, high school, first car, job stories, what life was like in the military, how he met mom. etc. These stories are already fading from memory. We have many pictures of him and with him. But man, it would be nice to have a video like that of my aunt. My cousin burned a bunch of DVD's with the conversation and passed them out to anyone who wanted one. I particularly enjoyed when my aunt talked about some experiences with my mom.

Anyway, that's my advice. If your dad would be comfortable with it, it might end up being something that you cherish for a long time or pass down from generation to generation.

Take Care.

 

[StevieC]

Thanks slug_bug. That's a good idea.

 

[StevieC]

My dad's brother passed away today from his cancer (same type as my dad's). My dad called and told me and after I hung up with him I absolutely lost it.
I was in the car at the time driving and had to pull over to gather myself because I just couldn't carry on.

I'm so not prepared for this coming day and I'm not really sure how I'm going to hold it together at my uncles funeral.

Life is really tough sometimes man, really tough.

 

[Garak]

Stay strong, Stevie. No, it won't be easy. It's tough to say and even tougher to hear, but Uncle is the lucky one. He's finished the hard part. Just remember the good times.

 

[Cujet]

StevieC, I wish you and your family the very best. I've been there.

My father and I were close, having weathered some very hard times throughout the years. He died 10 years ago at age 70.

I took a lot of comfort in the fact that we spent plenty of quality time together, he had a great life (as have I) , and we made sure to have plenty of fun (and a little mischief) every chance we got. Dad loved it when all the family would show up and stay at his place. We did a lot of that too.

Towards the end, my father was in a wheelchair and in/out of the hospital. I wheeled him over to the nurses station, where we figured out the code to get in. Once we got it, he helped himself to milk and cookies! We laughed like idiots about that minor offense. The nurses were very stingy with such things.

My last conversation with him was about the idea that turned into the Chevy Volt. A plug in hybrid car with real EV range. Something that was not yet a reality in 2008. He was a very technical guy, and much like me, believed that there was a scientific solution to many of today's problems.

 

[StevieC]

I think I was overly tired yesterday and it was contributing to it as well. I'm a bit more collected today but we will see at the funeral how it goes. Not looking forward to that. Thanks Cujet and Garak.

 

[bbhero]

StevieC....

#1. What Garak said... spend and enjoy has much time has you can with him..

#2 take care of yourself.... It will help your dad and you...

#3 remember this... Your dad will hear you even very, very late in how things go...

#4 make sure medications are there and make sense...

I had a wonderful lady at my place of work I took care of.. she was in the same circumstance has your dad... A wonderful lady.. I remember the last time I took care of her she grabbed my hand and pulled up to her cheek... And this lady was not one known for that type of affection... Her family member told me that... I left the room with tears in my eyes... Reminded me of my purpose at my job...

I've had to tell a number of people I have taken care of that I cared for them deeply... Me knowing and them knowing that their time was very, very short... Hard to do.. I had to do this with my own dad... I know what you are dealing with...

Know this here my friend... There is a purpose for your father... All the way through it all... Let him led the way...