Some really bad news about dad

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columnshift, thanks. He has tried alternative treatment without luck including things like "green" oils, apricot pits, ESSIAC and many other things when first diagnosed. (A pretty decent list and some if really out there but worth a shot) including a 0 sugar 0 carb diet mainly plant based.

I think he's at the point now where he is just accepting it for what it is because it has spread so far and the chance of surviving it at this point is highly unlikely.
 
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Originally Posted by aquariuscsm
Originally Posted by StevieC
Originally Posted by aquariuscsm
I've always wondered about this:

https://www.cancer.net/navigating-cancer-care/how-cancer-treated/radiation-therapy/proton-therapy

I'll mention it to him so he can talk to his Oncologist.


Please do Stevie. I'd love to suddenly read some good news about you dad!

As would I.
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As I mentioned earlier, I've lost both my parents, my dad to cancer too.

Make sure someone in the family is with him during doctor appointments. That way the instructions are known to two people. Also you may have questions or something you've noticed that you want to bring up.

Doctors like to control things like diet. I'm in the camp of letting your dad eat what he wants within reason. Having said that Some things may not be good though. If your dad is on opioid pain medicine, foods that are constipating should be discouraged as opioids are constipating themselves. Hydration is a good idea. Alway have water available close by.

Get him out of the house when you can. Going to places he enjoys like parks etc. Eating out , visiting old friends etc. Keep him involved in family matters and ask him for advice when things come up. Feeling useful makes someone feel better in many ways no matter what condition they are in.

If pain is a problem or will soon be, talk to the doctor about a pain management plan. I understand this is Canadian Healthcare so the details may be different than what is expected in the US.

Finally, make sure your mother gets a break now and then. This is hard on her. Getting her away for a couple of hours gives her the opportunity to express her feelings and concerns and will relieve some stress on her as well.

I hope this helps.
 
Originally Posted by StevieC
Originally Posted by FordBroncoVWJeta
Prayers, StevieC.
KEEP SPENDING AS MUCH TIME WITH HIM AS POSSIBLE!
I think they should tell your brother and sister earlier. What if he passed the next week? You simply never know. I know if I was in there shoes I would want to hear that news ASAP.

My brother and sister are aware of the cancer just not of the latest news of it getting worse. He's quite stable and able to travel other than declining energy from the Cancer and the treatment but I hear what you are saying.



Let your brother and sister know. When my mom died nobody told me that her cancer treatments were no longer helping and that she wasn't going to make it. So all of a sudden she was pretty much on her death bed and I didn't even realize how serious everything was.
 
Originally Posted by PimTac
As I mentioned earlier, I've lost both my parents, my dad to cancer too.

Make sure someone in the family is with him during doctor appointments. That way the instructions are known to two people. Also you may have questions or something you've noticed that you want to bring up.

Doctors like to control things like diet. I'm in the camp of letting your dad eat what he wants within reason. Having said that Some things may not be good though. If your dad is on opioid pain medicine, foods that are constipating should be discouraged as opioids are constipating themselves. Hydration is a good idea. Alway have water available close by.

Get him out of the house when you can. Going to places he enjoys like parks etc. Eating out , visiting old friends etc. Keep him involved in family matters and ask him for advice when things come up. Feeling useful makes someone feel better in many ways no matter what condition they are in.

If pain is a problem or will soon be, talk to the doctor about a pain management plan. I understand this is Canadian Healthcare so the details may be different than what is expected in the US.

Finally, make sure your mother gets a break now and then. This is hard on her. Getting her away for a couple of hours gives her the opportunity to express her feelings and concerns and will relieve some stress on her as well.

I hope this helps.


My mom is good at talking with his oncologist and taking notes / expressing concerns. My mom is 10 years younger and really young at heart for being 60. She still works as well to keep active.

His oncologist is really nice and not the traditional doctor type. He is even open to alternative things in compliment with his treatment plan. He is also a specialist in the type of cancer my dad has. We have exceptional treatment in the city we live in that is on par with the rest of the world because it's a research hospital flush with money both government and private donations. I'm confident he is getting the best possible treatment.

I have dinner with them a couple times a week and on the weekends my dad and I are usually doing stuff he/we enjoy. No worries there. We are forever tinkering with something (he enjoys this), going somewhere and changing the pace.

Pain is already an issue and has been for quite some time. It will get worse and they have him on a management plan that has been working well so far. His oncologist is really good at preparing him and setting him up with what he needs. He has monthly visits with the oncologist along with regular scans and blood work prior to these visits.

I'm working with my mum as well, its hard to get her away from the house because she worries about him but I make a real effort to try as much as possible to give her a mental break.

Thanks for the advice. It's great to know I have been doing the right things.
thumbsup2.gif
 
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Originally Posted by motor_oil_madman
Originally Posted by StevieC
Originally Posted by FordBroncoVWJeta
Prayers, StevieC.
KEEP SPENDING AS MUCH TIME WITH HIM AS POSSIBLE!
I think they should tell your brother and sister earlier. What if he passed the next week? You simply never know. I know if I was in there shoes I would want to hear that news ASAP.

My brother and sister are aware of the cancer just not of the latest news of it getting worse. He's quite stable and able to travel other than declining energy from the Cancer and the treatment but I hear what you are saying.



Let your brother and sister know. When my mom died nobody told me that her cancer treatments were no longer helping and that she wasn't going to make it. So all of a sudden she was pretty much on her death bed and I didn't even realize how serious everything was.


My folks are flying out to see each on of them to tell them. They are aware of the cancer already when he was diagnosed 5 years ago and will be aware of the new info shortly.
thumbsup2.gif
 
Originally Posted by motor_oil_madman
When my mom died nobody told me that her cancer treatments were no longer helping and that she wasn't going to make it. So all of a sudden she was pretty much on her death bed and I didn't even realize how serious everything was.


That's exactly how it was with mine too.
 
StevieC, very sorry to hear this! It's devastating to lose a loved one. But, you've had such a great relationship with your dad. That's not always the case - be thankful that the years you've had together have been good ones.
 
Dad and I spent the day together at his place messing around with this/that in his workshop until he needed to rest because he was getting fatigued. We had some lunch and then watched a funny movie together until he fell asleep in his chair. It was one of the best Saturdays on record and I couldn't have planned it better.

I finished up with my mom coming home from having worked today and we had coffee and then some dinner together with my dad. I cooked BBQ for us all.
(They can BBQ year round at their place).

Then I could see after dinner my dad was getting tired again so I said my goodbyes and returned home.
 
Last edited:
Originally Posted by StevieC
Dad and I spent the day together at his place messing around with this/that in his workshop until he needed to rest because he was getting fatigued. We had some lunch and then watched a funny movie together until he fell asleep in his chair. It was one of the best Saturdays on record and I couldn't have planned it better.

I finished up with my mom coming home from having worked today and we had coffee and then some dinner together with my dad. I cooked BBQ for us all.
(They can BBQ year round at their place).

Then I could see after dinner my dad was getting tired again so I said my goodbyes and returned home.



cheers3.gif
 
Originally Posted by StevieC
Dad and I spent the day together at his place messing around with this/that in his workshop until he needed to rest because he was getting fatigued. We had some lunch and then watched a funny movie together until he fell asleep in his chair. It was one of the best Saturdays on record and I couldn't have planned it better.

I finished up with my mom coming home from having worked today and we had coffee and then some dinner together with my dad. I cooked BBQ for us all.
(They can BBQ year round at their place).

Then I could see after dinner my dad was getting tired again so I said my goodbyes and returned home.




Nice! Sounds like a great day! Glad to read about you spending time with him!
 
That's good. Let him spend their last days doing what he wants. Should have done that with my mom, but they had her on chemo/radiation before she probably even got to decide what SHE wanted. I always wanted to take her down to the beach and get her out of the house, but I was always afraid something would go wrong and I would never hear the end of it. I wasn't going to have her go on the beach just drive down to it. Let her see some scenery. Etc.
 
StevieC: glad you and your dad had a good time
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Lots of times my dad loves tinkering out in the garage. We often go fishing to one of the 2 lakes near him when weather allows
 
I would love to go fishing with him and just enjoy the quiet out on the water in the sun but he isn't much for fishing, so I typically go with friends of mine one long weekend in the summer up north.

I do enjoy messing around with stuff in his shop though. He has all the toys like a scope, massive collection of tools, compressor, wood working tools, sheet metal tools etc. It could be thought of as a mechanics shop meets inventors works shop.
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