There's nothing wrong with the theory of shifting to neutral when waiting at a light, but don't do it too soon. Remember that you'll be unable to avoid a rear end collision if someone behind you doesn't stop. If you're talking about steady state after a group of cars has stopped, then it's probably safe.
Personally, I wouldn't bother with the p-brake. Why aren't you using the normal brakes in this instance? The only reason I can think of avoiding it is to avoid hotspotting the rotors and/or creating pad deposits by leaving hot pads clamped in one place. If you're not driving "hot" and your braking system isn't under-designed then this really shouldn't be an issue. You also want to keep the back of the car lit up clearing showing that you're stopped.
It's better that you're a frequent p-brake user than someone who never uses it. Those are usually the people with seizures and cable breaks. There is such a thing as over-use, though. On a lot of cars replacing a p-brake cable is a truly epic PITA. As for routine stretch, I think most can be coarse adjusted at the p-brake and fine-adjusted at the lever - not a big deal until it breaks.
I believe that shifting to N is a lot fewer moving parts than shifting to P. Do you know much of the specifics about your transmission? For instance I know that in P a ZF A5S440Z (BMW E39 V8) sends an enormous amount of ATF through the heat exchanger while in N it's a significantly slower flow. Whether that is actually going to matter to anything is another matter.
I also wouldn't worry about the "driveline shock" of shifting to D from N in a fully warmed up, low idling scenario though I guess I'd probably do it after letting go of the brakes, assuming your shift console lets you shift N to D without applying the brakes. Just make sure you don't get on the throttle before it's fully in gear.
Say, that's another reason not to go to P - lots of cars won't shift out of P without pressing the brakes. So at a stoplight you'd be going brakes, P brake, P, off brakes, wait, brakes on, release P-brake, P->D, release brakes and drive. Guh... Compare this to stop, D->N, release brakes, N->D, drive. Or compare to not bothering with N at all.
I drive stick, so I don't do any of this personally...