Oz doctors call for smacking ban

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If a child misbehaves after multiple warnings, there are all kinds of things to be done before it comes to last resorts.

Most of these kinds of problems are caused by underlying anxieties or fears that a kid can't articulate. They WANT to succeed by the criteria that their parents set, but they can't for some reason. Repeated warnings only remind them of their failures, and make them suspect that the people setting the rules don't care whether those rules can be followed. So, they start to lash out. Wouldn't you? Spanking them in that situation just takes things to the next level of bad. If the kid ever does fall into line, it's not because the problem has been solved; it's because the child's will has been broken.
 
If my daughter acts up, she is politely told that she will be left with the grandparents while my wife and I are going to the beach.

Her grandfather likes to nap and sit in a front room overlooking the street while he reads his Chinese newspapers.

Her grandmother likes to cook and make beadwork, then nap.

You don't need to hit to discourage bad behavior.

You need to negotiate, and reveal realistic consequences to a child that is acting up.

I believe in Piaget's work.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Piaget

All I have to tell my daughter is to be helpful, and we can do a lot of fun things, and she knows Dad is fun, so she always gets what she wants by just being helpful.

And "being helpful" is a positive statement, easy to convey, and doesn't put her or her actions down. It also gives the child a moving target to improve on, with more positive reinforcement they get to explore.

If she acts up, I just tell her, "Be helpful and we'll do something fun and nice as a family".

Or, "Help mom".

If you read this, this is the slippery slope a lot of Beaters out there get to play with:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080121134930AAdOoWk

Also, keep in mind many people aren't capable of beating their kids, so what are they supposed to do to raise respectful children?

Well, for one, they talk to their kids, and explain what the child is doing wrong.

Positive Reinforcement. Simple, and easy on everyone's emotions!
 
All I'm gonna say is that it's always very easy to tell SOMEONE ELSE how to raise their kids or have a good marriage.

You can quote all the studies, psychological reasons why one type of behavior is better than the other and what should/should not be done. But I can guarantee that you're own behavior will not match the advice that is given to others.

That is why marriage counselors are often divorced and I bet that those doctors would not pass the parenting scrutiny test either.
 
That's your guarantee? I want my money back. I am living proof (I choose the word "living" carefully) that psychology and behavioral sciences work.

As for your last point: The fact that someone won't or can't their own advice doesn't mean the advice is bad.
 
Originally Posted By: d00df00d
That's your guarantee? I want my money back. I am living proof (I choose the word "living" carefully) that psychology and behavioral sciences work.

As for your last point: The fact that someone won't or can't their own advice doesn't mean the advice is bad.


I'm not saying that the advice is bad simply because the person advising it doesn't follow it. All I'm saying is that it's easy to tell someone lese what to do, while omitting your own shortcomings.
It's also easy to spot someone else's mistakes but not your own. So yes, I could bet a large sum of money (not that I have a large sum of money to bet
lol.gif
) that if a third party were to audit your actual actions vs your advice, they would most likely find discrepancies.
 
Originally Posted By: KrisZ
I'm not saying that the advice is bad simply because the person advising it doesn't follow it. All I'm saying is that it's easy to tell someone lese what to do, while omitting your own shortcomings.
It's also easy to spot someone else's mistakes but not your own. So yes, I could bet a large sum of money (not that I have a large sum of money to bet
lol.gif
) that if a third party were to audit your actual actions vs your advice, they would most likely find discrepancies.

No argument here.

So, what's your point? If you agree that hypocrisy says nothing about the validity of advice, why bring it up?
 
I do believe in physical punishment, but smacking can do more to the kid than say, spanking, because it hits the face and could cause brain, eyes, ears damages that are irreversible.

I've read that in the news all the time, about smacking related ear drum and eye damages.
 
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Originally Posted By: Rolla07
Doctors should stick to diagnosing sickness and not telling people how to raise their children.


and parents should stick to raising their kids instead of telling doctors what can or cannot cause physical or mental development problems later on.
 
Originally Posted By: PandaBear
Originally Posted By: Rolla07
Doctors should stick to diagnosing sickness and not telling people how to raise their children.


and parents should stick to raising their kids instead of telling doctors what can or cannot cause physical or mental development problems later on.


A physician is not qualified to speak on matters of mental development and I seriously doubt there are any physical development problems that would arise as a result of spanking. I doubt that anyone here is taking "spanking" as a means of punishment to be something that would physically injure a child beyond having a sore butt for a few minutes and I'm thinking no one here would condone such an action...


This is not an issue of "is spanking right or wrong" but rather an issue of whether it's a doctors business or whether they are qualified to pass judgement on it.
 
Originally Posted By: PandaBear
and parents should stick to raising their kids instead of telling doctors what can or cannot cause physical or mental development problems later on.


So...can you show me where in the thread someone mentioned going to the doctor and telling them how to do their job?
 
Originally Posted By: cchase
Originally Posted By: PandaBear
Originally Posted By: Rolla07
Doctors should stick to diagnosing sickness and not telling people how to raise their children.


and parents should stick to raising their kids instead of telling doctors what can or cannot cause physical or mental development problems later on.


A physician is not qualified to speak on matters of mental development and I seriously doubt there are any physical development problems that would arise as a result of spanking. I doubt that anyone here is taking "spanking" as a means of punishment to be something that would physically injure a child beyond having a sore butt for a few minutes and I'm thinking no one here would condone such an action...


This is not an issue of "is spanking right or wrong" but rather an issue of whether it's a doctors business or whether they are qualified to pass judgement on it.


I'm talking about SMACKING, not SPANKING.

Please reread what I wrote.
 
Yes, I missed your first post which separates smacking from spanking.

The trouble here is I'm not sure which the original article is talking about.
 
Originally Posted By: PandaBear
and parents should stick to raising their kids instead of telling doctors what can or cannot cause physical or mental development problems later on.

Amen.
 
Originally Posted By: cchase
Yes, I missed your first post which separates smacking from spanking.

The trouble here is I'm not sure which the original article is talking about.


Yeah, saw that in the last few posts.

In Oz, smacking is what Americans refer to as spanking...I don't think I've ever seen a child hit across the face.

Interesting how some people (and the doctors interviewed) keep equating spanking with beating...but that's how you strawman an argument up to a ban.

D00df00ds points are good...we smacked, and it's still in the arsenal, but haven't for 5 or 6 years (My angry head probably causes more psychological damage than my palms ever could).

Smacking (spanking) was for those immediate situations where attention to safety (like running at roads etc).

e.g. outdoor fire place, smack on the hand and "don't touch" is appropraite for a toddler. Talk and letting them discover the consequences of actions is appropriate for 8yo child.
 
Hi,
Shannow - You are correct. There are already laws that protect against violence and abuse

Smacking is a natural and reactive thing, and it is practised by most animal forms in one way or another!

The do-gooders are at it again
 
Originally Posted By: Triple_Se7en
Our behinds are designed to be spanked as a child and fondled as adults.



crackmeup2.gif



Interesting, but true!

Got to stay in line somehow....
 
Originally Posted By: Falken
Hitting kids is sick.

It doesn't only hurt their pride, it scars them and makes them hitters too.

Would beating your wife or your girlfriend only "hurt her pride"?

Pride is the only thing that qualifies us as human.

My daughter is 3 and she saw that I had a cut on my foot. She felt so bad for me. She was asking me for weeks if my foot felt better.

Show a child compassion, and you have a compassionate society.



Ah, she has not seen what school/classmates can do yet...
smile.gif



You'll get there. My is 5, and most of the time, he is the same way. He too is compassionate. Ah, but the tricks they learn in preschool...

Besides a firm grip or a quick swat to the leg, I've never had to hit my child. Simple time outs, when used right (along with taking away what they value) do the trick most of the time. But he is truly showing his inpendence, and at some point, is going to cross into another "level", where the normal stuff is not going to work. So, spanking might have to be that option. If I do it right, I should rarely ever have to do it. (My parents rarely ever had to spank me either). He's a smart kid, and I think he'll catch on quick....

What people don't understand is that is a correction tool, not a reason to take one's anger out on a child at the supermarket.


Of course we live in a time where kids can divorce their parents, so who knows.....
 
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