On death and dying and the aftermath

[OVERKILL]

As I get ready to leave middle age in the rear view mirror, I realize when I die, especially if it were soonish and sudden, what I left behind would be a mess. My mother died last year, and was incredibly organized, down to having an envelope full of money for her own funeral as well as having picked out and bought her own tomb stone in advance. She had no debt, and made her checking account POD to me. Sorting things after she passed was still incredibly complex and annoying in all the legal documents and fees required, even though I was her sole heir, she had very little, and nothing was contested. Myself? I have no heirs, and my finances, while fine, are best described as "Byzantine". I also have land, a home, lots of other stuff, some paid off, some financed. I have no clue where or how it would be dispersed or who could even do that, except the few things TODing to my father, who himself is in his 70s. Where is a good place to start with all this, and is something like a will going to cover it all? It seems a bit of a 800# gorilla.

Best of luck with this. I've got 3x kids, so it's a fair bit more complicated, and I'm one of 4x kids of parents with a considerable estate, which is also complicated. I agree with the sentiment of getting a professional involved, that's your best option.

 

[JeffKeryk]

On a side note, my Mother told me it is better to help people when they need it, because if you wait until you die it might be too late.

I have found it can also bring profound happiness.

 

[k1xv]

Indeed, if you were going to leave something to someone when you die, it is better to gift it to them now, especially if it satisfies a non frivolous need. For example, I have set up 529 plans for four kids, two of which are only a year old. I also bailed out my deceased God daughter's family by paying off the medical bills not covered by insurance during her final illness.

 

[maggie06]

Who wants my guns?

Never ever get rid of your guns! Take them with you

 

[blain450]

Never ever get rid of your guns! Take them with you

 

[fat biker]

I suggest everybody find a copy of The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.
A very thin book and an easy read. I checked it out from my local library.

https://psychiatryresource.com/bookreviews/the-gentle-art-of-swedish-death-cleaning-review

 

[supton]

Local library has some thing about estate planning coming up next month. I plan to go and see what kind of primer I can eek out of that, then start digging into this.

 

[Dave Hess]

Our lawyer explained it like this: A "will" simply tells the probate your "wishes", but by law, your assets become the property of your heirs. Your spouse is not your heir - and is entitled to only half. This happened to our neighbor when his wife passed and her children forced an estate liquidation when they legally came in for their half. Even spouse's siblings can do the same.

A "trust" is what is needed to fully ensure that your wishes are carried out - but having a TOD, POD, or beneficiary takes precedent. over a will or a trust.

Joint Tenant with Right of Survivorship is very power and uncontested.

Here in Florida it’s easy to transfer property with a Lady Bird Deed,
No lawyers or probate needed.

 

[k1xv]

I have a novel approach to the problem. It doesn't solve it, but it kicks the can far down the road.

I'm 73. Next year I plan on buying my mid life crisis Corvette. That should give me another 74 years or so. I just have to not kick the bucket before I find the car.

Actually, I've stalled too long and need to get a trust together. I was the executor for my parents trust and being able to administer it without probate was worth many times the legal expense they incurred putting it together.

At age 78, I just finalized my trust. That will allow me to "rest in peace".

And the Corvette? Here is my present one, in black.. But it wasn't my first one. The first one was the red C2 with me sitting in it, at age 19