Oil Change From [censored]!!!

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Cross posted from another forum.. I've never had one this bad, but I've come close a time or two.... ========================================================================= I've done about 100 oil changes so I figured changing the oil in the Challenger was going to be a quick 20 minute job. I picked up a higher capacity oil drain pan and a wide oil funnel and a mopar oil filter and went to work. Got her up on the ramps no problem. Got the under engine cover removed no problem. Noticed some oil drops from where the oil drain plug was leaking a bit since they didn't torque it properly from the factory. Since the drain hole is on the side I positioned the oil drain pan so the oil wouldn't overshoot it. I remove the plug and all looks good until I realize the oil is shooting out with such force that it running up the side of the drain pan and over the edge! Normally this is not a huge deal as I have a big piece of cardboard covering the driveway...Then, I look over the there's my piece of cardboard leaning against the garage door. I now have about a quart of oil on my driveway and it's flowing down the slight incline! I burn my arm on the exhaust in a hurry to get to some paper towels. I think I have everything under control now until I notice more oil building up on the driveway. [censored]!?!?! Turns out, this brand new oil drain pan has a manufacturing defect on the lower side which left a nice hole for oil to leak from. I stick a nail in the hole, switch to my old drain pan, clean up the mess and get back to work. I start on the oil filter next. I want to know who the genius is that designs an engine with the [censored] oil filter upside down and vertical? 3 of my cars are like this. What a pain. I unscrew it a bit and let it drain for a couple minutes. I put a rag on it and unscrew it some more. The oil misses the rag somehow and I now have oil running down in my armpit! I see the Challenger has an aluminum oil pan so I decide to install a fumoto valve. I screw it on and the on off switch is positioned pointing to the ground so it protrudes below the bottom of the drain pan. I know the plastic cover is there but out of caution, I don't feel comfortable with positioned where it could potentially catch on something. About 1.5 hours into it, I finally get the oil in the car no problem. I start pouring the used oil into what I think is the empty 5 quart oil jug. There's only about 3-4 quarts in the oil drain pan so it'll fit no problem, correct? Wrong! I'm pouring in the oil when I all of a sudden have a volcano of oil flowing all over the place. Turns out, my 7 year old son was "helping" and put a half full used oil jug where I was working. I just stuck the nozzle from the drain pan in it and started pouring so I didn't realize it wasn't the empty jug. I clean up that mess and keep working. I then start pouring the smaller drain pan into the oil jug. I'm pouring and pouring until the pan is empty. I put the pan down and there's another puddle of oil all over the place. The oil drain pan was blocking it from my view. I've used this same oil drain pan for a decade without issues. [censored]!?! Turns out there was a piece of paper towel that got caught on the edge and was directing oil down the side of the drain pan onto the ground. At this point, I'm swearing up a storm. My neighbors who I barely know are outside and must think I'm a monster at this point. I clean up that mess. I grab a jug of contaminated laundry detergent (Another long story that involves my wife accidentally putting "just a little" fabric softener into the detergent jug in our washing machine automatic detergent dispenser and not telling me until the detergent clogs the tube and it pops pouring detergent all over the place) and go to town on the driveway with it and a brush. I start hearing my son and daughter screaming and fighting over an F-ING football. My daughter wants to just hold it but my son wants to play catch with it. I'm about burst a blood vessel in my brain at this point. Luckily my wife was outside and I asked her to please make them disappear until I was finished. Stroke averted. Back to cleaning the driveway....I start feeling drops of water on my back and all of a sudden the sky opens up. I step into the garage and it stops in about 30 seconds. I head back out to give the challenger a quick wash as last time this happened, I ended up with terrible water spots. I then realize my windows were both down all the way during the rain shower. Great! Clean up that mess. I finally get everything cleaned up. I grab my shirt that I had hung on a branch nub on a tree to dry after the rain and fling it over my shoulder. Apparently, whoever or whatever was punishing me today was not finished as I start feeing something stinging me up the back. Turns out, I put my shirt in the path of a bunch of ants that were heading up and down the tree and they decided to sting the [censored] out of me. The neighbors really think I'm crazy as I'm now running around the yard trying to get them all off of me! After all this, it's time to relax with a beer, correct? NOPE!!! I grab the last beer in the fridge and as I'm lifting the bottle to my lips, the bottom of the bottle catches my engine lift and breaks off in just about a perfect ring and pours all over the floor. I headed straight to liquor cabinet and did a couple shots of Jim Beam Devil's Cut 90 proof Whiskey and relaxed with a couple glasses of Cognac. I normally have the occasional string of bad luck but apparently, I was overdue as this was just ridiculous. Anyone else have an oil change or car maintenance disaster they want to share? ==========================================================================
 
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The Challenger filter is right-side-up. No problems with drainback! The ones with the gasket down are "upside-down." :p
 
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great story...too bad some words were [censored]. Nice writing, ever think of going into writing and get it published? wink
 
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Nice writeup. Makes me feel better the time started the engine, heard a clunck, found oil everywhere and realized the oil cap I had left on the engine had not contained the oil spray and had dropped into the engine bay. I couldn't find it, removed part of the undertray - no go. Dealer was closed on Saturday. Had to drive down the road and do some quick left/rights - heard the tinkle and picked it up off the street.
 
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Today at work the bright 17 year old boy.who is a apprentice at the shop. And who apparently have nothing other then girls, soccer and alcohol on his mind. Managed to pour 45 l. Of truck engineoil (havoline ursa 15-40 if anybody cares :-) directly through the engine and out on the floor. He simply forgot to put the plug back in. Took him all of his lunchbrake to clean up.
 
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Been there, done that, got the tee shirt. Not as bad as you, though. For my first oil change on the '12 Accord, the oil jetted out a lot farther than I though it would, overshooting the drain pan and spilling about half a quart in the driveway. I had also cleverly positioned the car on ramps such that I would be laying over an ant nest between the joints in the concrete. The ants apparently decided that their nest was under attack, so they took defensive measures. These were tiny brown ants, so I had to just tough out the oil change and then strip and retreat to the shower to get the little devils out of the hair on my head, my chest and my back. I had welts for about a week after that. I've got other oil change gone wrong stories. We've all been there. Maybe Walmart TLE isn't so bad after all:)
 
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Originally Posted By: shDK
Today at work the bright 17 year old boy.who is a apprentice at the shop. And who apparently have nothing other then girls, soccer and alcohol on his mind. Managed to pour 45 l. Of truck engineoil (havoline ursa 15-40 if anybody cares :-) directly through the engine and out on the floor. He simply forgot to put the plug back in. Took him all of his lunchbrake to clean up.
Hehehe.
 
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Originally Posted By: Eosyn
too bad some words were [censored].
If you want to know what the censored words are, just hit "Quote" as though you were going to reply. The forbidden words will be magically revealed! Warning: The words revealed may not be ones you want to see, so follow my tip at your own risk!
 

crw

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Awesome post, thanks for sharing! I always seek the "perfect oil change", the one where I don't spill a drop. I came close once. Once.
 
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Originally Posted By: Oldmoparguy1
Anyone else have an oil change or car maintenance disaster they want to share?
Way back when I was 21 (30 years ago)... Replacing a manual transmission in a '75 Corolla. First time I'd ever done anything anywhere near that complex. The car was on stands in the driveway. Since I didn't have any way of filling the new tranny with oil once it was in place, I came up with the bright idea of filling the tranny through the shifter hole before it got installed (not realizing that I could also have done the exact same thing after installation). Then a friend and I proceeded to attempt to attach the transmission to the engine. In our inexperience, we fussed with that tranny for several hours, trying highly-unsuccessfully to get the splines to line up. So absorbed were we in the task of trying to align the tranny "just so" so the tranny would slide home, that we never noticed that something VERY VERY BAD was happening at the other end of the tranny. Can anybody guess what happened?
 
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Originally Posted By: Tegger
Originally Posted By: Eosyn
too bad some words were [censored].
If you want to know what the censored words are, just hit "Quote" as though you were going to reply. The forbidden words will be magically revealed! Warning: The words revealed may not be ones you want to see, so follow my tip at your own risk!
Excellent tip. So did OP mean to say "Weird Toe Fungus!!!"
 

Oldmoparguy1

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Ummm...... Sorry about the censored words. Should have did a better job of proof reading. I'm not the author, just copied the post from another forum. I suspect that the whole thing was made up. Still, great writing. Thought bitogers would appreciate it. Wayne
 
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Originally Posted By: Tegger
If you want to know what the censored words are, just hit "Quote" as though you were going to reply.
Before anybody gets all in a tizzy over what I just said, please note that I am describing the normal functionality of the site. I am not telling anybody how to get around any rules. I always thought it was odd that users are prevented from seeing certain offensive words while reading posts in BITOG, but are then exposed to them in the Reply window if they choose to use the "Quote" function.
 

JC1

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Originally Posted By: Oldmoparguy1
Anyone else have an oil change or car maintenance disaster they want to share?
Reminds me of the first oil change I did on my 84 Toyota Tercel. I thought I was draining the oil but drained the manual tranny gear oil. Proceeded to remove the old oil filter and added 4 more litres of oil (so it had about 8 litres in a 1.5 litre engine), when I thought it was drained. The next day when I drove the car on the highway a large cloud of smoke was shooting out the rear tailpipe. Looked like a James Bond scene. I was embarrased as [censored]. Besides that oil creeped all up into the air filter housing and it was a mess. The next day I located the real drain plug. Drained the oil, but then I brought it to the local Toyota dealer the next day and had the oil changed again and replaced the oil filter and they topped up the transmission gear oil. Just chalk it up to having a bad day. I hope you get the driveway cleaned up. Regards, JC.
 
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This should be in the humor section. grin My story from about three years ago: So I'm covered in house paint from an afternoon of painting and decide "since I'm dirty anyway, I'll just replace that defective power steering switch on my car". I put the car up on my 3-1/2" ramps, it's a bit close, but I can make it. Squeeze under the car. Open end wrench doesn't work. Crawl back out and get a socket wrench. Crawl back under. Proceed to unscrew the old pressure switch. OOPS, of course power steering fluid starts leaking out, quite quickly, too. I look over at the new pressure switch, just out of reach and still with the protective covers on, hmm... I'll just screw the old switch back in, unfortunately, I can't seem to get the threads started. By this time I'm achieving a "personal best" at fluid spillage (not counting the Chuck & Rick "I thought you put the oil drain plug in" incident back in 1976). The switch, now covered in oil, slips from my fingers and rolls away, far far away. I am now laying in the huge oil puddle, all contorted, under the car, holding my finger over the port, like some little Dutch boy, but in a very uncomfortable position. OK, I'll reach over and get the new switch (the one with the protective covers still on). One of my muscles, still tired from the afternoon of painting, doesn't like this strange twisting, stretch, and decides to charlie horse. I finally got the new switch in, but what a work-out. I wonder what the torque spec is for a new switch? I just tightened the #$%^&* thing up and crawled out from under that mess. On a positive note, I did put a piece of cardboard down before I started, so not too much of the oil ended-up on my driveway. It happens...
 
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