Greetings and good evening to all in the land of the Great Bitog:
So, we've just spent an entire month re-digging all the canals that run through my parents property. We rented a backhoe, drank several cases of beer and created huge piles of muck. I the process of re-digging the canals, we found, one lawn mower, a front axle to a pick up truck, part of a metal roof, some wrenches I lost about ten years ago and a pair of high top shoes, (they were actually just the rubber soles as the uppers had rotted away. While we retrieved all these treasures, we did contribute to future mysteries when we lost a logging chain in the muck. We saw it go in, we fished around with our hands in the general area, but no logging chain did we find We decided to stop looking when we felt something that felt back).
We rented the machine for the entire month, which we assumed was 30 days. Turns out a month to the rental company is four weeks which according to their calculations is 28 days. Yikes!!! How in the wide world of all things smooth are we going to level all this dirt?
"Self," says I to me, "we need to invent a drag."
I head to my handy dandy dump pile and pull out six old rubber tires and proceed to make a triangle, (3, 2, 1). I tie these together with old wire and run drywall screws through the tread into blocks of wood which are inside the tire. I tie one end of a logging chain, (not the one we lost) to the front of this triangle and then tie the other end to the back of the soon to be famous "Luv" machine.
Now the moment of truth. I turn the ignition key, the motor barks to life with a symphony of cylinders. Gently, I ease the transmission into "drive" and with a certain amount of boldness, press the accelerator pedal.
I aim the "Luv" machine toward a pile of dirt along side of one of the canals. The "Luv" machine grabs the pile of dirt and claws it's way to the top like an angry alligator attacking it's prey. Some quick heal toe action keeps me on top of the pile and out of the canal, (beer, I discover, is a big help in the decision process here).
My drag is dragging behind me, chasing the "Luv" machine like a love sick bull chasing a cow during mating season, (let your imagination run wild here). It hits the dirt pile and explodes clods of black dirt in all directions, (yes, the "Luv" machine took some direct hits on the rear end).
I continue down the side of the canal, hitting pile after pile, sending countless showers of black dirt in all directions. The "Luv" machine bucks like a wild mustang and I grip the steering wheel with bull dog tenacity to keep from being thrown.
I reach the end of the canal and so turn around and hit the same piles again. Over and over, back and forth I go during the remainder of the afternoon. Bucking, jumping, motor roaring, tires spinning, drag bouncing and busting until finally - all is smooth. It looks like I had a crew of men out there with rakes. Once grass begins to grow, I could turn it into a golf course.
After the final run I eased back toward the barn to call it a day and my mind drifted to the final scene in the movie "Rollerball." Organ music began to play, and hundreds, nay, thousands of voices filled my head: "Drag King! Drag King! Drag King! Drag King."
Now I'm a drag king.
- Thread starter GreeCguy
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I would have rented it for another week. I'll bet they would give it to you for 1/4 of a month rate vs a week rate given you already rented the machine for a month.
It kind of makes sense the month is 4 weeks. With months having various numbers of days, they really do not want to deal with that.
JHZR2
Staff member
Does the luv machine still use panty hose belts?
This thread really needs some pictures, please.
Originally Posted By: JHZR2
Does the luv machine still use panty hose belts?
This thread really needs some pictures, please.
What happened to your C1500 find? Maybe hook the C1500 and Astro Luv Machine to this drag contraption for greater effect? Take pictures or video.
You could have ended up cost neutral offering BITOGERs the opportunity to get your Luv machine in drag mode.
Great post...
If you had the digger for another week, some timber (I recall from other posts - no pun intended), you could have gone all hugelculture.
Good work! Just buying/renting the "right" tool for a job is not as fun as making something up sometimes. Of course if your Red Green contraption doesn't work, it can be annoying rejigging it, but I guess you usually learn something about some basic engineering principal.
Drag king? Is that like a drag queen? 
Originally Posted By: L_Sludger
This may be the strangest story I have ever read.
Sounds like it's never a dull moment. Keep the stories coming GreeCguy. That was an interesting read to start my day.To answer all questions:
Yes, said "Luv" machine began the project with the panty hose fan belt. Unfortunately however, said panty hose fan belt broke during the leveling process. I was forced to cut the elastic band off my underwear and use it for a fan belt. Thankfully, driving the "Luv" machine doesn't require standing.
No pictures were taken during the operation as no one had a phone which takes pictures or video. It was a moment lost in time. Like the "Road Warrior," it lives now, only in my memory.
While my eldest sister was present for the event, I could not convince her to give it a go behind the wheel as she knew she would never live down the title of "drag queen."
On one of my passes, I did zip by Mama Gator. She came out of the water but the "Luv" machine is much faster than "'D' the Mighty," and so, like Iggy Pop in "Repo Man," I flew by her in a blur. (I've never seen a gator look so confused).
I'm thinking now of adding tires, (so it will be 5, 3, 2, 1), . . . . perhaps even a seat - proper prep for such a ride will be repeated viewings of certain scenes in "Ben Hur."
Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
. . . . perhaps even a seat - proper prep for such a ride will be repeated viewings of certain scenes in "Ben Hur."
O great and worthy Shannow, with a case or two of "Fosters" we would make one heck of a team!
Originally Posted By: L_Sludger
Originally Posted By: GreeCguy
O great and worthy Shannow, with a case or two of "Fosters" we would make one heck of a team!
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