Yeah, I do. But I think you are going to do what you want to do regardless.
You started this thread somewhat complaining and asking for advice. It has been a up/down, hot/cold, start/stop affair. Sage advice has been given by others and not just me. I would state the same to any friend, family or acquaintance that ask the same as you have.
What you have stated about your mental state, you have narrowed yourself into small swim lanes and kind of letting external forces run the deal for you and not by you for ease of just wanting to get it done.
I do not know you but only by what you have written here. That being said, any pushback I may have given is only in that I want the best outcome for you.