Welcome, I see this is your first post.
It sort of depends on how hard you push the vehicle. Lots of vehicles of done many, many miles on 20 grade oils. They seem sufficient for wear protection the majority of the time.
But I'm partial to 30 grades or higher. The old 3.5s recommended heavier oils but that was a long time ago. Modern oils are better than ever and a 30 grade now protects more like a 40 grade of yesteryear, if not better.
More than viscosity, I'd look at specific OEM approvals because the additive pack matters more than the viscosity per se. If you live where winters gets super cold, then go with the 0w30 ESP from Mobil 1. The 0w40 Euro formula as also highly regarded, even as an API SP formula.
If you live where a 5w or 10w is sufficient, then I'd recommend the M1 Extended Performance 10w30, the Truck and SUV 5w30. I like these M1 because they have very high flash point and seem to have some AN content in them.
In Valvoline, I'm a big fan of their Euro XL-III (See my profile pic) and their VRP. They are 5w30s. VRP is fantastic for any engine where you think it might have some cleaning needed (buy used, or haven't stayed on top of OCIs or been using cheap commodity oils).
In Castrol, I'd only consider their Euro oils-- look for the the VW 502/505 approval and BMW LL-01 with MB 229.5. Typically this is their 0w40 or 5w40 A3/B4 oils.
I also use and recommend HPL oils but I know the steeper price is not for everyone.