Jimmy Does Elkton Hospital

Zee09

$200 Site Donor 2023
Joined
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I rolled up into the hospital the other day like the world-shocker I am.
Walking down the halls like a man about town, knowing full well in a few minutes
I would be slaughtered like a fat pig.
I checked in at the main desk and sat for about 10 minutes.

A young girl came to the door and said James, you can come back now.
She pointed me to my room and said Cynthia would be with me shortly.
A few minutes later, I heard this little girl saying Mister Jim, is that you?

Yes, it is I replied. Remember me, I'm Megan? I was your nurse last year, and she kissed me on
the cheek and hugged me on the gurney. She tells me she thinks about me every single day and explains
how I have empowered her life for the better. Naturally, I was shocked because the exact words of wisdom
had not improved Blake's life in the least.

She explains in excruciating detail that she, like me, came from nothing and was going nowhere
until she met me last year. She then went on to tell me I was the biggest loser she had ever met by far, and
somehow, I still prosper and thrive regardless. She then informs me even my health insurance is low rent, and
even now, I sit with blind ignorance, grinning ear to ear in my own squalor of humanity, and I do it with extreme impunity.

She follows up with even more accolades, and at this point, it becomes apparent that she has never met @AutoMechanic.
I thanked her for her kind words, and she told me that if I can make it through this life, any idiot can—such a sweet child.

Cynthia comes into the room, and Megan introduces me as her Godfather. We all shared niceties for a few minutes, and Cynthia asked to see Megan outside for a second. I could barely hear them talking, and Cynthia asked What's up with this loser?
Megan tells her the story briefly, and then I hear Megan tell her if any of the tests go bad, DNR. and explains that
this bozo will do nothing but drain the hospital of its resources. Quickly, I grab my phone and look up the acronym
DNR. It comes up as "Do Not Resuscitate." GULP!

Cynthia came back in, and I asked her if everything was okay, and she said we were just talking about how cute you
are, Mister Jim. I then asked her if she was married because she was rather young and fresh; she told me she was still single and
I tell her all about Blake, and she then asks me if he is anything like me, and I reply, yes, he is.
She then tells me, "No, thank you."

On to the next....................
 
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