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Why didn't you look there first?

How big was it?

I didn't see it on the nightstand, so I looked around the nightstand, and saw it on the floor, under a used condom. I didn't touch anything. I called the front desk on MY phone, and said I needed a new, CLEAN room. They came to the room, saw the issue, and apologized profusely.

I didn't get close enough to gauge the size of the condom, the TV remote, and the previous slovenly pig room occupants, weren't around to answer any questions.
 
I didn't see it on the nightstand, so I looked around the nightstand, and saw it on the floor, under a used condom. I didn't touch anything. I called the front desk on MY phone, and said I needed a new, CLEAN room. They came to the room, saw the issue, and apologized profusely.

I didn't get close enough to gauge the size of the condom, the TV remote, and the previous slovenly pig room occupants, weren't around to answer any questions.
At least we know it wasn't AutoMechanic....
 
I didn't see it on the nightstand, so I looked around the nightstand, and saw it on the floor, under a used condom. I didn't touch anything. I called the front desk on MY phone, and said I needed a new, CLEAN room. They came to the room, saw the issue, and apologized profusely.
My luck they would have wiped the remote with a dirty rag and handed it to me
 
My luck they would have wiped the remote with a dirty rag and handed it to me

The front desk clerk actually picked them up with his bare hands, which exposed the contents to the air. The stench was incredible...

If you're ever at the Best Western near Zion National Park, beware.
 
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