I've never had a 4x4 part fail except for a locking hub on my old CJ-5. I have seen a lot of busted, stranded vehicles with 4x4 but they were usually being used in a manner that I don't think they were designed for.
Some kid was literally jumping one of the square-eyed Wranglers going up a trail to a mountain lake. The A-hole blew the transfer case and front drive shaft and blocked the trail leaking fluid. I can't blame this on the Jeep. I was shocked at how wimpy the driveshaft was compared to my old CJ or Toyotas.
I had to lower 2 ladys and 3 kids down a trail with a towstrap (Lower Skyline Drive) last summer
when her front wheels stopped engaging. It was a faily new Explorer (not the newest ones with IRS) and it made nasty popping sounds from the front diff area. I assume it had a locking system near the diff and not on the hubs. I don't think Explorers belong offroad! (go ahead and flame away)
I've seen a fair number of auto-locking hubs fail.
Best practices in my humble opinion.
1) Simple is better.
2) Use it! Either my Toyota or Nissan manual says use 4WD for at least 10 miles every month. Not a problem for me.
3) I trust 4WD systems that autoengage at the diffs a lot more than auto-locking hubs.
4) Horsepower + stupidity breaks stuff offroad. If you think you may be stupid (ask your friends, they'll tell you) choose a model with less HP.