Originally Posted by barkingspider
Been married for 5 years, started out good, went bad, tried to save it but it appears we are unable to. We don't have any children together (thank goodness). About a month ago, we both agreed that our relationship is toxic and it's best we divorce. We both have attorneys but haven't pulled the trigger on filing. Well, after today, I'm filing 1st thing tomorrow. We cannot go 60 seconds w out arguing. She's convinced that I'm 100% at fault and only I have to change. (I accept responsibility for my part of this toxic marriage but no way am I 100%). This is my 1st and most likely only marriage. It's her 3rd. At first I was embarrassed and felt like a failure but after this passed month, I think I've made peace w parting ways. I know this process sucks, expensive, emotional roller coaster, and is life changing, not looking fwd to it, but we both deserve to be happy(apart). I have 2 buddies that recently got divorced after 20 yrs of marriage and multiple children, so my situation is chump change compared to theirs. Both say that I'll be okay after the initial hurt and just take the time to heal. Any other advice is appreciated.
Tough go, it will get better with time as stated. Sorry to hear.
Easiest completion of the filing is to agree before seeing the lawyers. If you can go "yours is yours and mine is mine" it will be quick and painless. Where it can get messy is where one person wants a bunch of assets the other one has. In this case, (if you have more) tell your attorney that she gets only what is required by law and nothing more.
Oh, and even though this is the first time for you, the lawyer has done this many many times so keep that in mind when speaking. And don't let it go back and forth in negotiations, that could get you lawyered to death like I was with 1st divorce lawyer I dealt with....$4,000 and six months...switched lawyers and it was over in two weeks for under $1,000.