Ok, I was with you all the way about material things and human lives and health. No question there.
But then you say you understand OP wife’s actions because she was pressed for time? That does not compute.
FIL dropped car off of temp jack
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Ok, I was with you all the way about material things and human lives and health. No question there.
But then you say you understand OP wife’s actions because she was pressed for time? That does not compute.
It wouldn't have happened to the OP in this situation. Nor to his FIL, if everyone had simply waited 5 minutes.
Though one thing is, I don't recall the OP saying he spoke to the FIL before arriving, only speaking to the wife. So did the wife ever tell the FIL the OP will be there in 5 minutes with a better jack and tools? If not, that's on her.
And yet...
"He spent a couple minutes berating me about how I think I'm god and the only one that can change a tire,"
Those are strong words from someone who was knowingly using a cheap jack under a heavy vehicle on uneven asphalt. Don't tell me the FIL couldn't have brought a better jack himself, or gone back to get it after he saw the uneven asphalt. Did he even block the other wheels since it was on uneven asphalt?
I don't want to beat up on the FIL too much since he was just trying to help, but especially with his credentials he should have known better, and he should have checked his attitude and had multiple "oops, my bad"s ready after dropping the OP's vehicle to the ground.
The FIL's actions are literally a case of "Pride before the fall."
By the way, this should give helpful strangers second thoughts about getting too involved in situations like this. If you stop to help someone, mess with their car, and then someone gets hurt or the vehicle is damaged, you might be on the hook.
Also, being a car guy, there's a decent chance the FIL reads this forum. So maybe he'll say something after seeing this thread.
In the end, no one got hurt, and it makes for an amusing story to tell.
Also, being a car guy, there's a decent chance the FIL reads this forum. So maybe he'll say something after seeing this thread.
In the end, no one got hurt, and it makes for an amusing story to tell.
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Who knows what really happened? According to the OP, the FIL had managed to get there, jack up the car, remove the tire and then manage to drop the car within 5 minutes.
True that, but his wife also had time to talk to a stranger before that and he couldn’t figure out the spare, so they must’ve spend some time already before OP and his FIL got involved. Let’s face it, safety wasn’t even on her radar.
I was riding with my boss (female, same age, super smart) and another colleague back from a meeting and she had a flat. She had AAA but it was bitterly cold and I didn’t want to sit on the side of the interstate making small talk so I offered to put her spare on. Her trunk was full of stuff and she started to put the flat back in while it was jacked up and before I had the spare on. She started shaking it around trying to squeeze the wheel in and managed to shake the car off the jack while I was still sitting beside the wheel. Amazingly I was able to wrestle the jack back out and reposition it. I was just thankful I hadn’t done something dumb like stick my leg under there. She was horrified. I was surprised at how little effort it took for a 120 pound woman to shake a car off a scissor jack.
That was overall a very positive experience for me because it taught me a degree of caution I didn’t have before.
That was overall a very positive experience for me because it taught me a degree of caution I didn’t have before.
That's why the #1 safety rule about working under a car is "Never get under a car supported only by a jack".
How often have we heard about people who are experienced mechanics getting crushed under a car? Too often, IMHO.
I would be upset that you were 5 min away and nobody would wait for you. Your wife should not be in a panic for that situation. Her father was an idiot for not waiting for you with real tools and a real jack.
Might as well purchase a spare floor jack and another spare full size and a milwaukee impact and teach your wife how to do the swap since she is not grown up enough to wait five minutes.
FYI. I bought my girlfriend and my daughter a mid size harbor freight floor jack and a 30 inch breaker bar and long socket and a 12 volt air compressor so in an emergency they can change a tire without help.. both my daughter and my girlfriend are capable of changing a tire. You may want to duplicate that effort..
I own a superduty one ton pickup.... and a sequoia suv. Besides the normal under body spare tires I purchased another full sized rim and tire as its way easier to take a tire from the garage instead of trying to get a tire lowered from under the vehicle.
Might as well purchase a spare floor jack and another spare full size and a milwaukee impact and teach your wife how to do the swap since she is not grown up enough to wait five minutes.
FYI. I bought my girlfriend and my daughter a mid size harbor freight floor jack and a 30 inch breaker bar and long socket and a 12 volt air compressor so in an emergency they can change a tire without help.. both my daughter and my girlfriend are capable of changing a tire. You may want to duplicate that effort..
I own a superduty one ton pickup.... and a sequoia suv. Besides the normal under body spare tires I purchased another full sized rim and tire as its way easier to take a tire from the garage instead of trying to get a tire lowered from under the vehicle.
A funny memory as a kid and cars was over jacking my parents AMC Eagle to change tire with dad from side (likely should have been bumper). It fell of course onto rear dru
my dad pushed me back and burst out laughing .
After that every snow storm car would twitch rear end if you braked because I think that put brakes out balance.
my dad pushed me back and burst out laughing .
After that every snow storm car would twitch rear end if you braked because I think that put brakes out balance.
I'm sure there is at least one woman in NJ that could jack up a car and change a tire. For sure, it's not my wife or her mother or any other woman that I know but there's got to be one. There aren't even that many men.
The wife says the only reason she called him first was to tell him she was going to be late-- because she was actually in the Walgreens drive-through to pick up his prescription (hence running over the sneaky invisible drive-through curb with a front tire which is still puzzling to me) and head to his house. Naturally when he hears she's got a flat, he wants to help.
The FIL jumped the gun, my wife says she told him to wait after she talked to me, but he was close by and wanted to save the day is my assumption. Probably a pride, dad/daughter thing, who knows. I don't recall fully articulating that I had better tools (the wife knows me though, and knows I'm not leaving my house/garage empty handed), but he still should have waited when asked since it is not his vehicle.
I made the comparison that if his wife was stranded with a flat tire in their car: A) she's not going to call me first (or her dad if he was still around). B) if I happened to be there first for some reason, I'm not touching it if he tells me he's on his way. It's their car, not my place unless I'm asked.
"Is he OK. Every 1 OK? I got some stuff. Want me to use any? You wanna use it?" (last prt only if you DO have others use ur stuff). This way they can stay in charge, don't FEEL (ppl R thinking AND feeling beings) U R there to charge in and B a rescue-er.
When two ppl are there they usually triangle ina third. This is usually unhealthy (almost fist fight). The daughter/father, your (timely/untimely) appearance. The sudden catastrophe (jack fall) on top of an already heightened situation (the flat, her almost having an unknown entity pull the rescue-er thing). Lotta stuff under the surface (big energy, unseen, but still there - I mean look at the result).
When two ppl are there they usually triangle ina third. This is usually unhealthy (almost fist fight). The daughter/father, your (timely/untimely) appearance. The sudden catastrophe (jack fall) on top of an already heightened situation (the flat, her almost having an unknown entity pull the rescue-er thing). Lotta stuff under the surface (big energy, unseen, but still there - I mean look at the result).
The male ego is well, the male ego. Fortunately all is well the OP and his family. Surprised that chock blocks are not included with a spare tire set up.
i can't say for sure as it fell right before I got there. But all signs point to uneven surface. The ground was level enough, but the asphalt badly broken and heaved in places where the car was. My best guess is that the jack wasn't sitting flat and it fell out away from the vehicle, judging by the way the jack was bent at the top (which happened because of the fall, not the cause of it). Definitely not a jack failure.
It's possible the jack was put a little too far to the rear, the correct point is far up front on the pinch weld indicated by two cutouts, most people just pick a random spot that looks "good enough", which would likely be back too far on this vehicle.
I've had AAA for a lot of years and my last two request for service were less than pleasurable. The first one they kept putting me off and then finally told me they couldn't come until tomorrow. The vehicle finally started after the CTS cooled off and I drove it home.
This last time it took them three hours to show up after continually telling me it would only be 45 minutes. The tow truck driver told me that he finally told them that he was going to go get me and to quit putting me off.
ls1mike
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That is something to not get upset about. My son is learning to do his own brakes and suspension, while frustrating to watch as he messed up a tie rod end and makes a HUGE mess in the garage. It is an easy fix and no reason for me to get spun up.
At the point you arrived, you could have thought to yourself "Hey I just want this fixed, everyone safe and we can make it a team effort"
My wife wouldn't have called here dad, but if she was stressed because of the situation and it made her feel comfortable, so be it. She was probably still going home with you after the tire was fixed, so there is that. I learned (developed?) a lot of patience during my time on Submarines, probably the best thing I learned from the Military.
At the point you arrived, you could have thought to yourself "Hey I just want this fixed, everyone safe and we can make it a team effort"
My wife wouldn't have called here dad, but if she was stressed because of the situation and it made her feel comfortable, so be it. She was probably still going home with you after the tire was fixed, so there is that. I learned (developed?) a lot of patience during my time on Submarines, probably the best thing I learned from the Military.
