Feeling guilt spending money

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GMFan

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Does anyone feel guilt spending money on themselves?

I've always been pretty careful with money as a kid. I was always saving and was taught to do so. I imagined that when I got older and made a living I'd be less concerned about saving as I would have steady income. However I find I have more trouble spending money now than I did when I was a kid with crumpled up dollar bills in the piggy bank.

I've even been called "cheap" before, but I'd like to think I'm frugal on myself. I buy myself very little and am content without a lot of material things.

At the same time I am generous to others and do not have a problem doing so when it is for others (i.e. a gift). I feel like if I were to buy something nice for myself it is selfish when I could do other things for someone else. I even feel guilt buying essentials like undershirts, socks, etc. It doesn't even have to be a luxury thing.

I know people who treat themselves all the time to things and say to me "you work hard for your money...why not treat yourself once in a while?" The problem is I can't. Even when I go out with the guys or my girlfriend and the topic of going out comes up my mind immediately starts thinking how much x and y costs etc.

I DID manage to buy myself a new vehicle which I was able to rationalize by very high used cars prices at the time and me needing transportation for my job (and being reimbursed for my car mileage).

I'm soon to turn 25yr old and am able to pay my rent and feed myself. I do have a fear of losing financial self reliance and therefore I feel that by saving I am building security. I do also feel like I live like a miser sometimes. The other side of the coin is that it's just paper and you mind as well enjoy it before you die.

If you saved hard earned money and bought yourself a nice wristwatch (a non-essential as an example) would you feel guilty wearing and enjoying it when you know there are other people who barely can pay there rent?

Maybe I've been sniffing too much oil?
crazy2.gif
 
Do not feel bad at all. You are being wise. Work hard pay off your debts and then treat yourself once in a while. When you do this you do not have to worry about your finances and that is one less thing to worry about.
 
I am very frugal. I also buy nice things and enjoy them. I also enjoy keeping them nice and new, so that I dont have to re-buy them, or can delay the amount of time before I have to buy again. Makes the economics less expensive in the long run, quite often, compared to how average Joe operates.

It is good to feel the pain though. THe whole intent of marketing and manipulation of your brain by every marketing person out there is so that you do not feel the pain, are willing to spend excessively, and give them money. After all, they could care less what your long-term financial situation is, so long as they have you enslaved to their products.

It is good what you do, but you do want to give yourself something nice, once in a while, within the reasonability of your finances.
 
I can definitely relate to what you say but JHZR2 makes a good distinction between feeling guilty and being sensible.

I would offer a couple of bits of advice:

1) Achieving financial independence is a great objective. You don't want to get old and be worrying about money. It seems you are pre-disposed to such an objective. So if you can work towards such an objective, then your guilt is a very positive force.

2) But don't miss out doing things in your life that you really want to do. But strive for finding things of high value to you, not what others value eg starbucks and clothes, but what you value.

For example, if you love cars, then when you come to buy a car, spend extra if it makes the difference between getting something average vs getting something that you'll be in love with for 5 years.

If you enjoy good food, then choose your restaurants carefully, but once you've found the place, order what you feel like.

If you want to play golf, then buy quality equipment that is good for your game that will last, and play on courses you like.

You have to go with your feelings. If the good feeling you get is bigger than the guilt, then spend the money. If it doesn't, then don't spend the money.
 
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Its OK to treat yourself to a trinket every once and a while after first paying off your debt, bills, rent... etc. Self control is very important when budgeting / spending money.

I am at 33.5% of my gross going towards retirement and really don't spend money on nice-ities or stuff I don't really need.
 
God I thought i was the only one who gets that way I thought I had a problem sometimes. I sometimes even sweat literally about spending money lol, good to know I'm not alone.
 
GMFan, you and I are much alike in this regard. I've always worked hard and lived a frugal life. Part of that is because I don't know how long I'll be employed as an engineer in the automotive industry. Nearly every one of my colleagues lives in a more opulent home than I do.

The upside is that, with time, you'll build up a decent cushion and never have the rely on other people or wonder where your next meal will come from.
 
Right now since I graduated college a year ago Ive been in debt reduction and saving mode. I needed a different Vehicle to pull a trailer and buying new was cheaper than buying used. Talk about feeling guilty.... Love the truck tho. I feel the as,e way you do most of the time. If I spend over $50 I feel like I'm breaking a crime. It's how I was raised though, work hard and save your money. Life is more simple that way. Like the saying goes the more you make the bigger your problems are when you get into money trouble and I will not let that happen to me. Friends call me a cheap xxx but at least I have a cash reserve and don't have to live paycheck to paycheck. It's nice being tight with your money because you want too and not because you have too.
 
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Originally Posted By: GMFan
Does anyone feel guilt spending money on themselves?


I feel less guilt and more like a self-indulgent 4-year-old; endlessly amused by consumer goods.

Why don't you take your resources and, instead of placating a sense of MORE MORE MORE ME ME ME that you may be lacking, direct them toward doing some good for others? They could use a hand, and you'll be left with a lasting feeling of having done something real instead of the all-too-short feeling of placating more more more me me me.
 
I've spent over $20,000 on guns in the last 18 months. Well I did buy a nice safe, tools, accessories and lots of ammo and cleaners....

I don't feel guilty in the least. Guns more or less hold their value, or rather GOOD guns have a value floor and can go up - but I don't need to "justify" my purchases in any way. I have at this point saved and scrimped and frankly worked my keester off. Especially since 2008, and had not taken much money out of the company. Yeah, it would have been a good chunk on a nice car, but the Volvo runs fine and I'm not in "Karmode" right now. Cars are for transportation. Period.

I also saved around $100,000+ in the same time period.
 
I also feel guilty even though I am very frugal. I do try to have some balance though. I did just buy some spark plug s and a fuel filter.
 
Nope no guilt here when I spend money on myself, splurge or necessity. I offset it by agreeing that whatever I spend on myself, 2x gets spent on my lovely spouse. Happy wife, happy life.
 
"Well I'm up to my neck in the crumbling wreckage
Of all that I wanted from life"

Al Stewart - "If It Doesn't Come Naturally Leave It"

I always liked that line. You're on a good track. I never bought stuff excessively, but somewhere along the line, when I was a young man, I realized I had too many things that "I had to have" but ended-up not really wanting... Over time, I became more patient. I have to "want" something for a quite a while before I actually purchase it. In the end, I find I value those things that I do get, and enjoy them more so.

My parents grew up in the Great Depression. They were conservative in their spending. Sometime I feel as though some of my fiscal aspects are an echo of the Great Depression.

Regarding hobbies, find a cheap one!
grin.gif
 
I prefer to work and save rather than spend. I've never felt guilty about spending money when I needed to do so, but I don't waste money of frivolous things like expensive, flashy cars, jewelry or expensive clothing.

We did get a bit extravagant on our home when we built it 17 years ago, but as an investment it was worth it. We also had the note paid in 3 years; the balance was money we had saved in our home fund and the profit from the sale of our previous home.
 
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