Ever been disrespected by relatives re:their POS?

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Just wanted to vent a little-yesterday my aunt & cousin asked me to look at my niece's (JUNK) early '90s Altima (that I told them to scrap or donate to Goodwill 6 MONTHS ago)-besides the bad radiator cap that was spewing all over, the PS fluid leak (that it's had for YEARS), and the bad ignition switch that was causing necessary accessories to go dead (like wipers & defrost/heater)-it had TWO potentially fatal (to the driver) problems-the driver's motorized shoulder belt was locked/seized where it would cross the NECK of the driver, & the brakes were dragging on 3 of 4 wheels to the point it had trouble going uphill & was starting to BOIL brake fluid & coolant after a 5 mile trip! I told them that they shouldn't let my niece drive it in any weather (esp. ice/snow), and they basically told me to SHUT UP in so many words!!?! Any body else ever had this happen to them? BTW-this is my GODCHILD!!
 
Actually her grandmother volunteered to buy her one 6 months ago when it first started having trouble, & I went & looked at several used ones for them, but they never pulled the trigger on it. I'm actually more disgusted at having my concerns dismissed out of hand than anything else-and these guys could BUY & SELL me easily-even a new $15K Kia or Hyundai would be pocket change for them. If I ever talked to a customer or even a stranger the way I was yesterday-I'd be in unemployed or in a fight in about a second! Must be the BITOGer in me!
 
If your state had a vehicle inspection program this would have been dealt with, and with no ill will within the family.
 
thats why, as far as automobile problems and relatives, i shy away. remember the golden rule when dealing with extended family and vehicles. (no good deed will go unpunished)
 
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Originally Posted By: caravanmike
thats why, as far as automobile problems and relatives, i shy away. remember the golden rule when dealing with extended family and vehicles. (no good deed will go unpunished)
+1 now, for me-never again!
 
Everytime I had to help with relatives it back fires.
Not worth it, last time they made me pay $2000 in repairs because I was the last one to "touch" it two years ago.

Now I will not help anyone.
 
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When she gets stranded on the side of the road in a blizzard, or the engine goes kaboom on the interstate..... Maybe they will think "Gee, maybe bullwinkle knew what he was talking about". That car sounds like a deathtrap to me.
 
No, but I have clients do it all the time.

Before I install anything on their car I document all the "Check Engine Lights" and everything else.
 
Mechanics deal with this sort of thing on a daily basis. The only difference being that we don't see our customers at Thanksgiving & Christmas.

It's human nature. If you do a brake job, you're gonna be the first blamed when the transmission goes out. I have customers all the time who pay for an engine overhaul... then bring the truck back 6 months later whining about some totally unrelated wiring problem. They seem to think that rebuilt engine = new truck.

The trick is to remain detached and stick to your boundaries. If a customer is a huge pain in the [censored], then you're better off without their business. If a relative is a huge pain in the [censored]... you're better off not helping them out.
 
I've heard of some mechanics that will flat out refuse to work on old rusty cars. Can't blame them. A simple one-hour job like changing a part can become a day-long nightmare when a bolt seizes and breaks, or when an adjacent part crumbles under the wrench.
 
A fair number of people let dangerous situations slip up on them. I would recommend calmly letting them know that this vehicle has problems with brakes and seatbelts that must be professionally/competently addressed. I would add that the power steering leak for a young woman is almost as dangerous as those other items.

Once those three safety matters are resolved, you can then go on to providing an opinion about what is further involved in keeping this vehicle on the road as a beater.

Keep it calm and impersonal, and suggest that if money is tight, you'll do what you can to help. Better this than the car ends up involved in an accident that causes an injury or fatality.

This is one of the downsides of the quality and durability of today's cars. Many early '90's sleds are still providing excellent, safe service to their drivers.

That notwithstanding, and I'll do a lot to keep a car on the road, your conclusions on this car are correct. When the costs for the fixes are added up, it will be hard to justify not junking this thing.

Good luck.
 
Yep, it's hard to help the ignorant. I used to help friends with computer issues. But after a few "it's full of viruses, won't boot, crashes and is really slow ever since you touched it" episodes I just let them rot in their own stupidity. I just politely tell them to take it to their favorite computer store and don't even recommend one.
 
You are right to be concerned about your niece but there is nothing you can do. Let them take it to a mechanic and if they decide to buy a vehicle DO NOT look for a car for them. You will hear about every problem for the next 10 years. Some people you can never please.
 
yea... she may be you godchild but they are her parents. stinks that they seem ignorant and proud, also that they'd ask for your advice and shun it too. sounds to me like they wanted your approval, and really didn't want the real answer.

I'd say cool your jets, and as almost all of the great posts above said, know the limits, know the boundaries...

Mike
 
Originally Posted By: bullwinkle
these guys could BUY & SELL me easily-even a new $15K Kia or Hyundai would be pocket change for them.


Rich people don't get rich by writing checks. Corner them, the girl, the dad, and ask what amount of money per year would be appropriate for car maintenance. Their deer-in-the-headlights look should say it all. Or, they'll say, "but it's Japanese"...
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One favor you can do, is offer to move the car because it's blocked in or whatever, then literally stand on the brake pedal with all your force. A hooptie like this should blow a wheel cylinder or rusty brake line. Then they'll have to have it towed to a brake shop. You can say, "all I did was step on the brake" then waltz away.
 
Often it's important to determine when people are asking you for your advice because they respect your opinion, and when they're asking because they expect you to say what they want to hear. When it's the latter, there isn't anything you can do.
 
This is really just another example of what are supposed to be friends and or family taking advantage of someone that knows about cars to get free advice and really probably pushing for a free repair.They then treat you like dirt if they dont get the answer they want and will most likely talk about you behind your back because you didnt do what they thought you should,even though it wasnt your place to do anything.

Dont get me wrong,there is nothing wrong with trying to help,what is wrong is when those that ask for the help then turn around and talk bad to you when they dont hear/get what they want.

This is a take on an old saying;do me bad once shame on you,do me bad twice,shame on me.
 
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