OP declined to give the circumstances or even the history of this driver, whether this was the first, or one of many such incidents. Until said driver has a medical exam to evaluate her fitness to drive, I'd say it's unfair to her to take the keys away because of an accident. If she is such a risk, insurance will cancel her or the DMV won't renew her license. I see drunk drivers and people with their heads buried in their phones texting as causing more accidents then older drivers.
Elderly driving, taking away their keys.
- Thread starter wrcsixeight
- Start date
It really seems the OP didn't make the decision lightly. You are entitled to your view.
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My sister had her license taken by the state of Illinois. She had 3 accidents and in the last one she passed out at the wheel. The State Farm insurance agent made it happen for us. I have to drive her everywhere and became her Guardian. She was in the stage where she would stat to go some where and end up at a completely different location. Had to do something.
My day will come, I'm 60 and my driving isn't quite what it used to be. I've already told my kids it's ok and do it when the time is right, even if I put up a fight, and I will I'm sure. Now, get off my lawn.
My dad did that. Coming home from church he missed the turn he had to make for the last 40+ years. Kept going for many miles before realizing that he was lost.
Some years ago, my Uncle went for a drive. Left middle of Iowa and ended up in middle of Illinois.
Forget how the story went, but 2 of his kid's drove a few hundred miles, to pick him up and bring the car back home. Pretty sad, but their comes a time to get their keys.
Sadder yet, I'm 66 and my mind is getting fuzzy. Took my GrandDaughter to the courthouse in Jan, to renew my plates. I put her on my title as Mark or Hayley. She gets the Forester soon. I hate driving any more than local these days. It sucks!
Forget how the story went, but 2 of his kid's drove a few hundred miles, to pick him up and bring the car back home. Pretty sad, but their comes a time to get their keys.
Sadder yet, I'm 66 and my mind is getting fuzzy. Took my GrandDaughter to the courthouse in Jan, to renew my plates. I put her on my title as Mark or Hayley. She gets the Forester soon. I hate driving any more than local these days. It sucks!
When someone realizes that they cannot get around anymore it is a huge moment in their life. I hope she has family and friends that can take her for her errands.
Even a simple act like going out for breakfast once a week means a whole lot. Older folks look forward to those simple things.
Even a simple act like going out for breakfast once a week means a whole lot. Older folks look forward to those simple things.
Owen Lucas
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Friends 95 year old great aunt drove into a building Kool Aid man style, blasted right through a brick façade into the waiting area. Thankfully no one was inside, oddly her Buick was barely damaged. The police made a referral to the DMV and she was summoned to have her vision checked and retake the drivers license exam which included a driving test. She passed all of the tests and her license was reactivated. After the Buick was repaired she went back to driving, it was only local thankfully. Eventually she had some health issues and hung the keys up mainly because she couldn't walk anymore, she's still alive, must be over 100 now.
What did she say when she found out the car was totalled? Hopefully nobody got hurt.
There are many things that I could say, but I'll stop at this. Any major driving fault, such as driving the wrong way on a high-speed divided highway, should raise the question of keeping a license at any age.
And something not yet mentioned: failing to do something about such a problem could cause big liability if the impaired driver hurts or kills someone—as in a lawsuit takes the driver's assets or estate. If Mom or Dad becomes homeless because s/he lost a civil suit over killing another driver and you knew s/he had become unable to drive safely, you will probably wish you had acted sooner. I know of people who lost inheritances because a parent's estate was successfully sued over injuries. The parent had died in the accident s/he caused.
My grandfather became unsafe and got into a serious accident in his early 80s. But he had long had bad habits behind the wheel, such as sightseeing instead of watching the road. He didn't drive again after that accident.
And something not yet mentioned: failing to do something about such a problem could cause big liability if the impaired driver hurts or kills someone—as in a lawsuit takes the driver's assets or estate. If Mom or Dad becomes homeless because s/he lost a civil suit over killing another driver and you knew s/he had become unable to drive safely, you will probably wish you had acted sooner. I know of people who lost inheritances because a parent's estate was successfully sued over injuries. The parent had died in the accident s/he caused.
My grandfather became unsafe and got into a serious accident in his early 80s. But he had long had bad habits behind the wheel, such as sightseeing instead of watching the road. He didn't drive again after that accident.
My mom had a stroke while driving.... That sounds awful but apparently she was going very slowly and probably didn't even have her foot on the pedal. I think she eventually rubbed up against the curb and the car stopped rolling. The homeowner there looked out the window and saw her slumped over behind the wheel! But this came after a year or two of gradual decline in cognative abilities; she was constantly forgetting where she had been during the day and she would leave jackets and umbrellas etc at restaurants and stores and then later claim they weren't hers when I took her back to retrieve them. At one point she had a very minor fender-bender but filling out the state-mandated accident report was completely beyond her abilities.
Anyway, the state sent her a letter stating they had cancelled her license due to "episodes of unconsciousness". I didn't have to "take" her keys away; it wasn't necessary. She never walked again and soon moved into a facility for folks with dementia. She was usually quite stubborn and taking the keys away would have been a real ordeal but the stroke made it a moot point. I don't think either path would have been preferable.
Anyway, the state sent her a letter stating they had cancelled her license due to "episodes of unconsciousness". I didn't have to "take" her keys away; it wasn't necessary. She never walked again and soon moved into a facility for folks with dementia. She was usually quite stubborn and taking the keys away would have been a real ordeal but the stroke made it a moot point. I don't think either path would have been preferable.
It was a pretty easy thing with my dad, as he had a stroke and now uses a walker. He turned in his driver's license and Mom eventually sold his truck about a year later. My mom will be a different story. She's 84 and still very active and driving all over the place., As she is his soul caretaker being quite a distance from all three kids. I'm very glad they live out on the boondocks (Melrose, Florida) because if she was dealing with city traffic she would have been in an accident or victim of a road rage incident by now. She backed over the stool dad uses to get in the car the other day, so I'm starting to wonder when the little parking lot accidents are going to start and when she's going to start pulling out in front of large trucks. It's a situation where we're just waiting for the phone call.
My grandmother (father's mother) was always extremely independent. Her husband died in 1964, she never remarried. She was always independent and going somewhere and doing something. Unfortunately, she developed Alzheimer's in her early 70s. My parents ended up having to take the keys since they were starting to get calls of her hitting curbs, driving on people's lawn. It's one of those things that was pretty obvious. She was extremely angry when my parents took the keys from her. It was a side to her I don't think I had ever seen.
My father is 81. The last time he drove was in 2019. They were in a cemetery and he had some difficulty navigating and hit a headstone and popped a tire. He was with it enough still that he realized he shouldn't be driving any more. He is slowing down a lot mentally and physically really isn't able to do much any more. We learned last summer that he has Parkinson's disease and that explained a lot. Unfortunately (or fortunately when it comes to driving) , with his health conditions he doesn't want to leave the house anyway so no handing in the keys.
My father is 81. The last time he drove was in 2019. They were in a cemetery and he had some difficulty navigating and hit a headstone and popped a tire. He was with it enough still that he realized he shouldn't be driving any more. He is slowing down a lot mentally and physically really isn't able to do much any more. We learned last summer that he has Parkinson's disease and that explained a lot. Unfortunately (or fortunately when it comes to driving) , with his health conditions he doesn't want to leave the house anyway so no handing in the keys.
LOL..When you get to be that age there won't be any keys to make!Knowing how much I value my freedom; I will probably get 10 sets of keys made so if anyone takes a set away.) I probable will only let the state take away mine.
I was rear ended, one of the VERY few accidents I was ever in for decades.
I was stopped for a school bus and all the cars behind me.
There were a few cars ahead of me stopped too.
The bus started moving and I had to wait for the cars in front of me to follow and start moving when BOOM! The lady behind crashed right into the back of my SUV! GEEZ... she was completely stopped and just stepped on the gas petal because she saw the bus moving a few cars up!
Called the police, police came, lady for some odd reason (most likely guilt) made a statement that she "wasn't even on her cell phone" its still in her back seat. That was weird.
Cop gave her a ticket, told everyone she was sorry.
Oh... ok... The lady was about 35 years old and get this, a school teacher about 1 mile away from her school.
(moral of the story accidents happen to young people too) Just typed this for fun.
I can see the OPs point on what happened in his case.
I was stopped for a school bus and all the cars behind me.
There were a few cars ahead of me stopped too.
The bus started moving and I had to wait for the cars in front of me to follow and start moving when BOOM! The lady behind crashed right into the back of my SUV! GEEZ... she was completely stopped and just stepped on the gas petal because she saw the bus moving a few cars up!
Called the police, police came, lady for some odd reason (most likely guilt) made a statement that she "wasn't even on her cell phone" its still in her back seat. That was weird.
Cop gave her a ticket, told everyone she was sorry.
Oh... ok... The lady was about 35 years old and get this, a school teacher about 1 mile away from her school.
(moral of the story accidents happen to young people too) Just typed this for fun.
I can see the OPs point on what happened in his case.
Pretty much the same thing happened to me in France. I was stopped behind a line of traffic in a small town because a large truck was trying to get around a tight corner. After about 10 minutes the traffic up ahead started to move and "boom" the guy behind me (who had been stopped nealy as long as I had) rear ended my car. I was still stopped. That driver was under 40.I was rear ended, one of the VERY few accidents I was ever in for decades.
I was stopped for a school bus and all the cars behind me.
There were a few cars ahead of me stopped too.
The bus started moving and I had to wait for the cars in front of me to follow and start moving when BOOM! The lady behind crashed right into the back of my SUV! GEEZ... she was completely stopped and just stepped on the gas petal because she saw the bus moving a few cars up!
Called the police, police came, lady for some odd reason (most likely guilt) made a statement that she "wasn't even on her cell phone" its still in her back seat. That was weird.
Cop gave her a ticket, told everyone she was sorry.
Oh... ok... The lady was about 35 years old and get this, a school teacher about 1 mile away from her school.
(moral of the story accidents happen to young people too) Just typed this for fun.
I can see the OPs point on what happened in his case.
And I was sideswiped on the freeway by a well dented Oldsmobile driven by a 20-something young woman who said she hadn't noticed.
And I was riding with my daughter and we were stopped at a traffic light when a car rear ended us. That driver was under 20.
Come to think of it, I've never been hit by an older driver.
OP:
I'm about to face the same thing. My mother has never 'enjoyed' driving, always the slowpoke holding everyone up, always nervous.
She's told me that her car insurance is now more than what I pay for for any of my 3 vehicles, all are worth 3x or more than hers. Hopefully the insurance companies are starting to "penalize" elderly drivers.
I'm not against older people driving. I wish insurance companies would offer extreme discounts for people voluntarily going through a comprehensive test that includes written testing, video watching/questioning and going through a simulator. I'm tired of insurance companies "monitoring" driving through the OBD port and rewarding slow-pokes and those that mechanically follow the laws to the letter, which might impede traffic flow during certain high traffic times.
Let's reward high-quality drivers, those that are looking downroad 1000' or more, those that don't need to change lanes 14' from a turn, those that don't play on their phone, those that pay attention to current driving conditions and such. If you don't or can't, then you should be penalized heavily.
I'm about to face the same thing. My mother has never 'enjoyed' driving, always the slowpoke holding everyone up, always nervous.
She's told me that her car insurance is now more than what I pay for for any of my 3 vehicles, all are worth 3x or more than hers. Hopefully the insurance companies are starting to "penalize" elderly drivers.
I'm not against older people driving. I wish insurance companies would offer extreme discounts for people voluntarily going through a comprehensive test that includes written testing, video watching/questioning and going through a simulator. I'm tired of insurance companies "monitoring" driving through the OBD port and rewarding slow-pokes and those that mechanically follow the laws to the letter, which might impede traffic flow during certain high traffic times.
Let's reward high-quality drivers, those that are looking downroad 1000' or more, those that don't need to change lanes 14' from a turn, those that don't play on their phone, those that pay attention to current driving conditions and such. If you don't or can't, then you should be penalized heavily.
#11 post.
Get it out of ur relationship (opinion). As we age we loose alot (physically, in the world as in status).
Tell her ur concerns not demands.
I drive more slowly, defensively, than I did as a 'kid'. Lots of road rage due to this (college town). I think I will give up the keys (daily driver I maintain on a lift & a '70 Bronco for rec). I hope I can descern when to stop. I may need some object data, a big help from supportive folk, a repetative drumming.
Get it out of ur relationship (opinion). As we age we loose alot (physically, in the world as in status).
Tell her ur concerns not demands.
I drive more slowly, defensively, than I did as a 'kid'. Lots of road rage due to this (college town). I think I will give up the keys (daily driver I maintain on a lift & a '70 Bronco for rec). I hope I can descern when to stop. I may need some object data, a big help from supportive folk, a repetative drumming.
One of my late dad's friends saw his auto insurance go up to assigned risk simply because he reached he was in his 80s (I believe 85). He was paying the same rate as a new teenage driver, he said, though he had not been in any accidents nor had any citations. But... Soon afterward, he totaled his wife's car.
This was over 10 years ago. I lost touch with him after my dad died, but I think this friend has long ago passed away too.
This was over 10 years ago. I lost touch with him after my dad died, but I think this friend has long ago passed away too.
