I pretty much never wait anymore, no matter how cold out it is. I wait maybe 10 seconds, MAX. My Focus is a PZEV, so the high idle on a cold start is higher than most cars, in order to heat up the catalyst system more quickly. A high idle for me on a really cold day is like 2200 rpm (yikes, I know!). I usually wait for it to drop below 2000 rpm, then set off. I don't mash the throttle or anything. Usually 3000 rpm is my limit, sometimes lower if traffic is light and I don't have to merge.
My parents live on a main road with a 50 mph speed limit. Meaning, no slow driving allowed. In order to merge, you'd better be willing to move 'briskly' so as to not get hit. I had to do this the other day. It was 10 degrees out, car had been sitting for most of the day. I started the car, and no more than 15 seconds later I was at 3000 rpm making my way up to 50. IMO, as long as there is sufficient oil pressure and you don't drive the car like a goon, you'll be just fine. It's a car, drive it!