I ended up doing my DIY alignment with a tape measure. I simply picked a tread block that was square in circumference (outer tread block in this case) and measured between tread blocks front vs back of front tire between the two sides. I didn't think this up, there were plenty of mentions of it on other forums and Youtube.
Before doing this, I used another one of my cars with a known good alignment to test the theory. From what I gathered, normal toe on most passenger FWD cars would be about 1/16 further out in the front when measuring this way. My '96 Maxima (which has good alignment) was pretty much on the money, 1/16 wider in the front of the tire.
So I copied that to my Grand Prix, dialed in the steering wheel nice and straight, and it seemed to work. I've put perhaps 5k (if that) on it since then, and don't notice any unusual tire wear or handling issues. I still need to replace all the suspension components (I've been dragging that out till my workshop w/ lift gets built this spring) and will definitely get a true alignment at a shop then. This was basically a temporary endeavor so I don't have to pay $100 on a real alignment twice. I realize this method ignores the rear, camber and other variables, but it seemed to work fine for setting the toe, which is the only thing I messed with.