Chuck Norris is 85

[Snagglefoot]

Chuck Norris is 85. Lets hear’em.

Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test. The machine confessed everything.

 

[fantastic]

 

[RooflessVW]

Spider-Man wears Chuck Norris pajamas

 

[Ursatdx]

A cobra once bit Chuck Norris.
After five days of excruciating pain, the snake died.

Covid19 gets the Chuck Norris vaccine.

Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

 

[Inked]

The Speed of Light was still just a theory until Chuck performed his first roundhouse kick.

 

[4wd]

Know what’s under Chuck’s beard? More beards

 

[Ursatdx]

Before sleeping the Boogie man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

 

[Urshurak776]

 

[Pablo]

Chuck Norris was hit by a full tractor trailer load of bricks when he was 80.


Space researchers are still baffled by the ring of earthly brick dust around Saturn.

 

[Bottom_Feeder]

Chuck Norris keeps a gun in his nightstand so it feels safe.

 

[RedSpider]

Chuck Norris went on vacation to the Virgin Islands. Now they just call them, "The Islands".

 

[SC Maintenance]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

And can also divide by zero.

 

[Fifth87]

Chuck Norris does not fear death. Death fears Chuck Norris.

 

[JunkdrawerDog]

Father Time is afraid of Chuck Norris so when he sees Chuck, he starts backing up. Chuck is now only 39 years old.

 

[ArrestMeRedZ]

We had a street downtown named Chuck Norris Avenue. The city council had to change the name of the street. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

 

[4wd]

When Chuck Norris tells a joke about Will Smith’s wife - Will slaps himself

 

[GW.]

Chuck Norris once won an arm wrestling tournament, with both hands tied behind his back.

 

[Ursatdx]

Chuck Norris built, with his own hands,
the log cabin he was born in.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark,
but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can count in alphabetical order.

He once won a game of chess on the 1st move.

How many pushups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.

 

[4wd]

Ranger Walker strangled a perp with a cordless phone

 

[paulri]

Chuck Norris won a game of Connect Four in three moves.