Calling GON: am I crazy?

There are actually rear taillights on eBay in the $100-$200 range for these. Actually should be pretty easy to find one.

There's an entire car at a yard about an hour away, luckily! I'm thinking I can put together a package deal for the bumper, lights, and whatever additional brackets I may need. He's asking $150 for the bumper, complete, so I'm thinking $200 will take everything if I do the removal.
 
UPDATE: She made it home on her own.

The loader brought it out stone dead (of course) with 1 flat and 3 low tires, but it fired up on it's own after some charging time off our Jeep. I pumped the tires up with my little Ryobi inflator just enough to get me the 2 blocks to a proper gas station where I set them all to 35. Filled up with a fresh tank of E0 premium and away we went. Other than a little tire vibration, everything went smooth over the 100 mile journey.

All the fluid levels checked good, I'll be doing an oil and filter change along with the transmission fluid and a general tune up once the weather warms up here in the Midwest. It's got one new Sentury Touring on the RF, but it's the wrong size: 215/60R16 vs. the correct 225/60. I'll probably have a set of Kumho LX's installed, they run $69 a tire at WM and I liked the way they rode on my Reatta.

The rear damage is incredibly minor, and there's no structural damage. The bumper shocks never compressed, and all the sheet metal looks perfect underneath. Speaking of underneath: this thing is CLEAN. Zero rust outside the usual suspension component scale, which is expected given the thing lived it's entire life in northern WI.

As far as leaks go, I couldn't be more impressed. There's some slight seepage from the block halves, which is to be expected, but that's it. Valve covers dry, trans dry, radiator/hoses/cooler lines all in perfect shape. Same goes for the struts and suspension, no leaks and zero play in any of the components.

The owner's manual was in the glove box, still containing everything from the Cadillac pen to the selling dealer's business card. Every electronic component tested good, from the heated windshield to the heated seats. Zero burned out exterior or interior bulbs. I even found the VHS cassette highlighting the car in the trunk. It's almost comical how clean the interior of this thing is, aside from one little mark on the driver's seat bottom I couldn't find a single flaw. It doesn't even seem to be suffering from the typical dashboard warping that's so common on this generation, likely due to the factory heated windshield. I found a note in the owner's manual that specifically states the heated windshield's ability to block the sun's radiation can help prevent "fading of interior surfaces".

After giving everything a good once over, it looks like a belt, battery, and fluid/filter changes are all that's going to be required to make her into a solid daily driver. The cosmetic work can wait until summer, for now I'm excited to have something a little more comfortable to commute with than our Kia Spectra.
 
Nice ride and sweet OG car phone! Brings back memories. I had an aftermarket phone similar to that installed in my '83 Monte Carlo back in the early 90s. Mounted in the same location, and worked like a charm.
 
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