Bizarre letter from a child

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There was a letter in my mailbox today addressed to me by first name only, spelled incorrectly. It was obviously not placed there by the postal service.

It was typed on an actual typewriter, with lots of misspellings and improper grammar.

The mostly humorous content was complimentary to me, a 45 year old heterosexual bachelor for life with no interest in children.

The only disturbing part of the letter reads
Quote:
IF you are going out with some one "I will kill them!" JK! Mabye not...


There are a couple of 'merry Christmases' thrown in and me as santa claus and her as Mrs claus

And a hand drawn picture with a girl descending on a parachute covered in hearts, with binoculars pointed at presumably me, who is wearing a Elf hat, and flexing.


I am pretty sure this was from my friend and neighbor's 9 year old daughter, who is quiet and shy and sweet and kind of an old soul. Perhaps a little slow, I do not know. I've not really interacted with her and never without her parents or grandma nearby. I did see her pause near the mailbox yesterday, then keep going.

The intentionally Humorous aspects make me think perhaps the parents were possibly in on it/ aware of it. I could imagine them laughing at it writing it out, but I could also see it as a goofy young girl, being goofy doing it on her own or with her 3 year older sister and her friends. I can't really imagine that she thinks she has feelings for me. But I cannot pretend to understand the mind of a 9 year old girl either. I do have a 4 year older sister and it kind of reminds me how she and her friends would get really goofy feeding off of each other, but I would have been 5 when she was nine and the two households and parenting styles are very different.

I consider her father and mother to be a fairly good friends. I am often given a key to their home, and I take care of their dogs when they go out of town.

What's your opinion about the best way to handle this?

I'd rather not embarrass the girl, but I certainly don't want her thinking she has feelings for me.

Maybe is is a joke to try and make me feel less lonely during the holidays. My parents and sister are 2500 miles away, I saw them for thanksgiving this year, instead of Xmas.
 
'1st time' this sort of thing happened? Maybe she got caught up in the Christmas card thingy? I'm no expert on young girls, though they seem to have the beginning's of the emotional makeup of older girls. I'll use the experiences from the relatives young girls, we have boys.

I would use all precautions to avoid any behavior that has the possibility of improper interpretations, that of course includes any 'alone time' or any written response. If it's a one time deal, maybe just do nothing. Act as if nothing happened at all.

If there is a repeat anything, then I'd take it to her parents.
 
Originally Posted By: Mr_Joe
'1st time' this sort of thing happened?


Yes.

My concerns are the 'joke' about if I am seeing anyone she will 'kill em, just kidding, mabye...'


Do the parents need to be notified of that, or is it harmless goofery of a young awkward girl, and best if I act like I never got it.

There is no danger of any impropriety on my part, I don't want the girl negatively affected in any way.
But, My landlord handed me the letter and heard the contents when I opened it and read it, and of my suspicion who wrote it. Heck, If I don't tell the parents then if he mentions it, then I look like the bad guy for keeping it from them.

hmmmm. Awkward spot.
 
Your already committed to some action because of the landlord and the possible violent content while probably not thought out is by a 9 year old. 11 or twelve I would really be concerned. We had a similar thing happen at my fire dept by a adopted Russian child that was mentally challenged because of alcohol but that was a known issue to all.
 
I don't think I'd say anything unless you actually think that "joke" is a sign of some kind of mental issue. Kids are crazy and repeat things they hear, which is what I would guess happened here.

robert
 
Originally Posted By: SumpChump
I'll diagnose this one due to my credentials...
The girl saw or heard it in a movie or from and adult mouth. Seen it 100 times. No reply needed. You never got the letter.


I agree with this. The 9 year old likely has a bit of a crush on the OP. Innocent enough, but I would be careful to avoid anything to encourage it or that mike look inappropriate. I don't think the "threat" is any more than an attempt at humor.
 
Originally Posted By: Bandito440
I'm with SumpChump. Just move on.

Who still has a typewriter?


lucky find in grandmas basement/storage?

OP, move on and ignore.
she's seen to many "american girl"/lifetime movies.
she's going to replace you with the first cute boy her girlfriends circle finds interesting....
 
I have grandchildren in that age bracket. Even if the parents manage the child's exposure to today's social media, they still can get exposure at school from peers.

I'm not in favor of today's zero tolerance guidelines in k-12. At the same time, at my workplace we have been conditioned to be aware of any potential red flags, without going overboard.

In this case, I would have an open discussion with the parents just to let them be aware that the one quote made you a bit apprehensive. Depending on how it goes, it might turn out to be a very light hearted talk, or the parents might actually thank you so that they can address that one quote, which IS a bit inappropriate.

My adult friends sometimes verbally toy with the Jeff Dunham quote "I kill you", but in written form it is a bit more risky and we know better not to use it in communication.

Again, a friendly open conversation can be done without causing any harm if you handle it appropriately. Just my opinion.
 
The obvious modern solution is to make sure you're FB friends with the parents and the girl and then post the letter with a bunch of obscene comments about it.
;^)
Seriously, if you think the landlord might say something to them, it might be worth mentioning to the parents that you got a silly letter from a kid and wondered if it might have been from their daughter. Otherwise, I'd just blow it off and make sure not to be too chummy with the kid.
I am also amazed that the girl used a typewriter...for her to find one AND know what it was AND actually type away on the thing?

These situations can be really awkward...I played softball for a guy who had a stepdaughter who was maybe 4 years old. She didn't like stepdad too much (he was not affectionate in the slightest) and I also bore more than a passing resemblance to her favorite uncle...for whatever reason, she would track me down whenever she made it to one of our games and shriek, "HOLD ME! HOLD ME!" I tried to laugh it off, but she was always very insistent and I would eventually pick her up and tell her she was a sweet little girl. I knew the coach quite well and nobody ever said boo to me about it or tried to get the girl to leave me alone.

This went on for a few months until one day she was following me around and then suddenly stopped cold and looked at her mom like she just realized she was in big trouble...the mom was staring daggers at her, then turned to me with the same nasty look. The little gal ran off and never spoke to me again, and I honestly felt like I was being (unfairly) accused of something very unseemly. It was more or less the end of that season and I found another team for the next one.
 
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To me, this sounds fairly innocent. She probably heard it somewhere else and is just repeating it. She may or may not have a crush on you, as young girls often have crushes on older people, but I personally would tell her and her parents thank you for the letter and just tell her mom relaxedly about the line saying maybe she has a crush on me so her parents know and understand. Back when I was 16/17 years old there was a 7/8 year old down the street from us who used to call me her boyfriend. Her mom knew she just liked to come down the street for "dates" because we had a trampoline and video games she liked to play. This was back when the Wii was the coolest thing and fairly new.

I would like to hope her parents don't go jumping to conclusions which is one of the biggest problems in today's society. Just be honest and straight with the parents and make sure they are around or at least know about any time you interact with the young girl.
 
Originally Posted By: SumpChump
I'll diagnose this one due to my credentials...
The girl saw or heard it in a movie or from and adult mouth. Seen it 100 times. No reply needed. You never got the letter.


+1

Fireplace that letter.
 
I would inform the parents gently saying you don't want to make a big deal about it. I would be more afraid that things turn the wrong direction with the girl and a crush turns into something more and you get accused by the girl of doing something improper because you ignored her letter. At least if you are honest with the parents you have covered yourself just in case.
 
I thought about this from a different perspective while waiting at the tire shop.

What if the gal sends a similar note to an adult who isn't a good person? Could it encourage an already-creepy adult to initiate an improper relationship?

Maybe talk to the parents?
 
You don't really know who sent you the letter but your assumptions are probably correct. I suspect she has a crush on you.

This is a really awkward situation and what you do next depends on your relationship with the parents.

What you don't want to have happen is them finding out about it later and wondering why you didn't say anything.

With all that in mind, I think I'd mention the letter to her parents in a light-hearted way. Let them see it if they wish.

I'd keep the letter for future reference. (I'd make a copy before showing it to the parents in case you don't get it back).

And then you have to be careful about any interactions or situations that might be misconstrued. The parents knowing about the letter will actually help you in that regard. The trick of course will be interacting normally with her but also with appropriate caution.
 
I would ignore it, nothing good can come from addressing it. Not to mention you're not even sure who wrote it.
 
To be clear I don't think the "threat" is of any significance.

The concern is the crush. This situation could escalate if nothing is done. And then when you try to do something about it the young lady, who is now hurt, accuses you of bad stuff.

That's why I'd keep the letter (or at least a copy of it).

I'd suggest you report to this group what you do and what happens. And keep a copy of this discussion for future reference. How else would you document what you thought, what you did, what happened and when? Sometimes a paper trail matters.
 
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