any fathers who didn't want children here?

[mechanicx]

Originally Posted By: Knox
Originally Posted By: mechanicx
I think many men's reservations about having kids is with the way it is now the mother can usually take custody of them if she so chooses and the father will be on the hook for often excessive child support. I'm just saying

. I think a lot of men would like to have kids but economically they feel it's too much of a hardship.


+1 If you want children, you should be prepared for the backlash, in case "it doesn't work out". A lot more marriages are ending soon in divorce, as compared to times past.

In past years a divorce was almost unheard of. My parents are still together after 30+ years and have had a total of five children in that time. Both my parents worked their entire lives to support us. It's hard to find a pair of people that truly love each other and their children enough to do that.

The point of my rant is, father and mother have to be onboard for the long haul and willing to struggle to take care of their children.


I partly blame a system that pretty much encourages divorce. It makes divorce and taking custody of children easy and appealing. How about fault divorce instead of no fault and both parents should have to put equal amounts of child support money in a "pot" and divide it and custody up equally? I bet trivial divorces would drop.

 

[Spazdog]

I didn't know I wanted a kid until I had one.

20 years of casual intimate relations and one previous marriage and not one "pregnancy scare". I wasn't even certain I could have kids. I didn't really feel like I was missing anything. Then my son came along.

He changed everything. Most things for the better. Not all of it of course. But most.

The only thing about waiting so long to have a kid is my age vs parents of other kids my son's age. We are at least 10 years older usually. I just got back from a Cub Scout camping trip. We were definitely among the older parents in the trip. Most parents our age that have a Wolf scout usually have an older sibling that is in High School or older

 

[HM12460]

They sure are expensive!

 

[dishdude]

I am shocked by the candid responses in this thread. It's actually refreshing. No kids here, but that's another story.

 

[eljefino]

Life challenges you, when you think you have it easy you go invent something to make it more interesting.

I've got two boys, four and two. It's way more fun shopping with them than by myself. Most women look at me and think I'm mentally undressing them or something and avert eye contact after 1/10 second. Bring kids and I'm Mr. Cool guy.

Wife quotes "Roseanne", whoever files for divorce winds up with the kids.

 

[Spazdog]

Originally Posted By: eljefino

I've got two boys, four and two. It's way more fun shopping with them than by myself. Most women look at me and think I'm mentally undressing them or something and avert eye contact after 1/10 second. Bring kids and I'm Mr. Cool guy.

+1

crazy isn't it?
Like hearing a small child call out "Daddy!..." has some effect on their uterus and they put their guard down

 

[Jeepster_nut]

Originally Posted By: dwendt44
The one I had was as much frustration then joy.

He was kind-a/sort-a unplanned. After he was a few months old, the old SNIP-SNIP. No more rug rats.


+1
one and done! My son is 2 and a half. Kids accentuate the problems in your marriage. This leads to affairs and eventually divorce. And the world keeps on a spinning-
I know now why I prefer relationships with mechanical things. Cars are good to you if you are good to them, and even if they turn on you at some point, you can reconcile without any back talk from it!

 

[97f150]

Originally Posted By: Jeepster_nut

Kids accentuate the problems in your marriage. This leads to affairs and eventually divorce. And the world keeps on a spinning-


I wont elaborate but quoted this for its upper 90% accuracy. I wouldnt trade my daughter for the world, but man children have a way of changing a marriage.

 

[bdcardinal]

It was obvious my dad didn't want or was interested in me. My parents weren't married. My mom made every attempt to include him in my life but he would always bail on us. My half brother game my dad chicken pox and it really ravaged him mentally and physically. Last time I met him I was 12, I am 28 now. Before that time I was 3. He had a bunch of pictures of me that my mom had sent him, he gave me a Raiders hat, I hated NFL then, still do. What hurt the most was he liven in the Santa Barbara area my whole life, really small towns. Hopefully I do better when I have kids.

 

[wander2039]

Originally Posted By: pottymouth
The kids themselves are the easy part. For most men I know, it's the monster the mommy becomes that makes life hard.


I about fell out of the chair laughing. Didn't plan our kids both whoopsie's but wouldn't trade them for anything. Getting the snip down in a few weeks no more. The wife likes to say just think how rich we'd be without them... yeah but I told her we'd be bored out of our minds.

 

[Patman]

For as long as I can remember I always wanted to have kids, specifically I wanted to have a son to carry on the family name. My son just turned ten yesterday and I cannot imagine my life without him! I cherish the time I get to spend with him.

 

[daves87rs]

Originally Posted By: Eric Smith
Originally Posted By: pottymouth
The kids themselves are the easy part. For most men I know, it's the monster the mommy becomes that makes life hard.


I about fell out of the chair laughing. Didn't plan our kids both whoopsie's but wouldn't trade them for anything. Getting the snip down in a few weeks no more. The wife likes to say just think how rich we'd be without them... yeah but I told her we'd be bored out of our minds.



LOL...So true! I was not sure I was ready for kids....but he is 3 now, and at times, can present some "issues". In honesty, you never know how they are going to turn out, an at times you may have no control over it.

Maybe because I nearly died, I things things differently the most. I do the best I can, and enjoy the ride-good or bad. Because I don't know if it will be my last day....

 

[crinkles]

Love my 3 dearly but have had the chop!

 

[Smokescreen]

I couldn't imagine my life without my kids. I feel I will live on through them long after I am gone.

I do agree though if you don't plan on giving them 100% effort, don't offer yourself as it is a life long commitment.

 

[Bamboooo]

Originally Posted By: chevyboy14
Well I was 18 when my gf got pregnant. I was scared worried and shocked. Our parents kicked us out and my mom beat the [censored] out of me even tried to shoot me thank god the gun didn't work when i told her that she started beating me with it. I thought wow my life is going to suck. But we finally found a place after living in my Mazda protege. And now we are doing pretty good given the circumstances. I love my son to death . He's 15 months and a lot of fun he already likes cars and even notices pretty girls. It's pretty cool how smart they are to. I wouldn't trade it for the world sure I wonder what if . But at the end of the day god blessed me with a son and I cannot complain. They're a blast!!


You mom wasn't mad because you got your GF pregnant. It was because your GF was your sister!!! Just kidding. I had to say that, since you're in Mizzou country, and I'm a Jayhawker. Anyways, I'm 38, never had kids. But I married a wonderful woman, about 15 years ago, who had 5 & 6 year old boys. I couldn't have had better kids myself. I love these two as if they're my own. The first couple of years, were the toughest. Adjusting to the "instant family" life. Today, the oldest will be graduating college, and the younger is in college.

 

[Jeepster_nut]

Originally Posted By: 97f150
Originally Posted By: Jeepster_nut
Kids accentuate the problems in your marriage. This leads to affairs and eventually divorce. And the world keeps on a spinning-

I wont elaborate but quoted this for its upper 90% accuracy. I wouldnt trade my daughter for the world, but man children have a way of changing a marriage.

Yep Husbands become invisible once the kid comes along, and whether most guys will admit it or not, we have needs too...

 

[Vibe_2007]

I never thought kids would have a place in my busy life, then this little guy came along (15 months old in this picture). My baby boy is my pride and joy and I cannot imagine not having him. He has changed my life. I was a little nervous about having a child at an older age (34), but my fears were unfounded. Kids are great! I am so excited to get him into shooting sports, camping, and fishing.

He keeps my wife and I extremely busy, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[daves87rs]

Awww....

 

[greenjp]

I had a pretty good life before my daughter was born (I'm 34, she's now 2 years and a month). Good marriage, great career, stable finances, etc. She has made it immeasurably better.

jeff

 

[Mixologist]

Originally Posted By: chevyboy14
Well I was 18 when my gf got pregnant. I was scared worried and shocked. Our parents kicked us out and my mom beat the [censored] out of me even tried to shoot me thank god the gun didn't work when i told her that she started beating me with it. I thought wow my life is going to suck. But we finally found a place after living in my Mazda protege. And now we are doing pretty good given the circumstances. I love my son to death . He's 15 months and a lot of fun he already likes cars and even notices pretty girls. It's pretty cool how smart they are to. I wouldn't trade it for the world sure I wonder what if . But at the end of the day god blessed me with a son and I cannot complain. They're a blast!!


That's pretty awesome, hats off to you!