Brand J is a perfect oil filter. There has never been an observed failure of Brand J.
We accept the testimony only of an engineering staff of professional oil filter design engineers with a minimum of ten years experience each in the design of oil filters. There must be a minimum of ten such engineers present at any observed failure of Brand J. There must also be an attorney from the company present during the failure.
Now, it has come to our attention that non professionals are claiming that they have observed failure of our oil filters. These people (approximately 10,000) are not qualified to give an opinion on oil filter failure, since they are not engineers and the above requirements have not been met.
Therefore, there has never been an observed failure of one of our Brand J oil filters. It has a perfect record in the field.
We accept the testimony only of an engineering staff of professional oil filter design engineers with a minimum of ten years experience each in the design of oil filters. There must be a minimum of ten such engineers present at any observed failure of Brand J. There must also be an attorney from the company present during the failure.
Now, it has come to our attention that non professionals are claiming that they have observed failure of our oil filters. These people (approximately 10,000) are not qualified to give an opinion on oil filter failure, since they are not engineers and the above requirements have not been met.
Therefore, there has never been an observed failure of one of our Brand J oil filters. It has a perfect record in the field.