I mean, I had a 97 pathfinder which was rated for “5000” lbs. it had similar horsepower if not a little less, probably weighed less, and had a soft coil-sprung rear axle. Based on assumed higher weight and presumably longer wheelbase of the highlander, 3000 lbs would be doable. We towed a 3500 lb popup with it and it was adequate (did the job but wasn’t “great”), and that was without electric brakes. we later pulled it behind a town and country minivan with a much lower rating but it was a more sure-footed platform. But, the pathfinder did indeed do it. It was most comfortable under 60.
Based on that, if he stays within safe driving habits and doesn’t get ahead of himself, take it easy, it should be fine.
The four wires will be ground, power, out to brakes, and a tapped wire to the brake light switch.
There is probably a wiring harness available to tie the controller to a plug in the dashboard or left kick panel in the suv.