You might be a ricer if

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May 19, 2003
YOU MIGHT BE A RICE BOY IF ... ... you find yourself using the excuse 'yo, but you gots twice as many cylindas, dude after EVERY race ... you drive a 4 door 'type R' ... your gumby pants make it hard to shift ... more than 20 of your mods involve shielding what is actually underneath ... you have stickers that even most asians don't get ... you have stickers for parts you dont have ... you refer to 50hp as the 'big shot' ... your car has so much camber it can drive on its side ... when you drive by, WWII veterans run for shelter ... your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the inner muffler diameter ... you have 'power by' anything anywhere on a car made by the engine manufacturer ... birds make nests on your spoiler because its taller than the trees ... you sell crack for the image...not the money ... you have 'N/T' polished on the side of car and you don't know what bracket racing is... ... you will only race if the other guy removes four sparkplugs ... you can't race uphills ... you have "All Motor" emblazoned on your rear hatch right next to your 14.50 dial in ... you brag to have nitrous and have a 14.50 dial in ... your exhaust system for your 1.8L is bigger than most Pro-stock cars ... you spent more money on stickers and stripes than your parents paid for your car ... you go to a performance shop and immediately start rummaging through the decal bin ... your tach is bigger than your head ... you have a shiftlight and your car is an automatic ... you refuse to race because it's a "show car" ... your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" chrome exhaust tip ... at Autocross events you don't participate because you have a drag race setup and at drag events you brag about kicking *** on the autocross. ... you have more lights on the front of your car than the USS Voyager ... you brag about a turbo kit that never seems to get installed. ... your exhaust sounds like a dying Moose ... your bright green $300 air filter is bigger than your engine.
shiftlight and automatic....factory cut springs and 5" exhaust....That's TOO DANG FUNNY and TRUE!
... if your stupid enough to think your body kit and 5 inch exhaust on your Honda Civic is enough to outrun a Ford Windstar with a family inside... =) True story =)
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