The answer to the question about how a well-maintained engine is protected from particle size is not a one-size-fits-all answer ... The primary misunderstanding is how particles enter and exist in the lube system, and what constitutes their makeup.
By far, the most damaging particles are soot and silica; these are very hard and abrasive. The other particles to discuss are typically metals. Soft metals (Pb, Cu, Al) are typically shed into the lube at fairly low rates; low enough to not be of major concern. Hard metals (Fe, Cr) can be present in varying amounts; Fe typically rises in quantity relative to fuel burned and OCI duration, whereas Cr is typically just low-wear in quantity in a healthy engine. The metals are typically reactive; they don't exist in any dangerous size or quantity until wear puts them into circulation.
Some contamination comes in via the air intake tract. Silica, mainly. These don't change size. A good air filter, left in place, can help reduce the presence of these in the lube sump. What's not caught by the air filter, can be caught by the lube filter if they are large enough.
Soot, OTOH, originates from incomplete combustion of the hydrocarbon fuel source. It starts out small; very, very small. Soot starts out (as a generalization) around 40nm in size; give or take a bit. That's nanometers, not micrometers. Soot amalgamates (co-joins) with other soot particles to become bigger. A typical soot particles has to grow 100x larger just to become 4um; and at that size it would still be too small to be caught by a typical FF filter. The size of soot is primarily not controlled by the FF filter; it can only remove them after they get really large (10um are larger for any reasonable efficiency effect). Rather, it's the anti-agglomerate additive in the oil that helps keep the soot small enough to not be of major concern. The DI (dispersant/inhibitor) additives are there to reduce the growth rate of soot, giving longer OCI protections. The more of the additives, the longer the OCI can be safely maintained. I have often argued that the oil additives are in control of wear rates far more than a lube filter, because the filter can only react to soot particle size after the oil fails to control it. Conceptually, the thing to understand about soot is that quantity and size are related, but not mutually assured. Having 3% of soot in a system doesn't tell you anything about size; no UOA can tell you the size of a soot particle, other than it's small enough to be vaporized in the plasma stream of the test (typically below 5um).
The following factors play into wear control, as a team of contributors:
- oil change interval
- oil additive package strength
- lube filter efficiency
- lube filter change interval
- air filter efficiency
- air filter change interval
- engine combustion efficiency
Managing wear is about controlling the contributing factors as inputs, with wear rates being the output.