What you don't want to see on your yearly review.

Messages
3,730
Location
SE PA
"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer." "Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching." "A room temperature IQ." "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together." "A gross ignoramus---144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus." "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on." "A prime candidate for natural deselection." "Bright as Alaska in December." "One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests." "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it." "Fell out of the family tree." "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming." "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it." "He's so dense, light bends around him." "If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate." "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week." "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean." "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled." "Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes." "Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby." "Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead
 
Messages
12,385
Location
Northern CA
OFR's (officer fitness reports) - His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. - I would not breed from this Officer. - This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be. - When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there. - He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction. - He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle. - Technically sound, but socially impossible. - This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere. - This young lady has delusions of adequacy. - When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably. - This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar. - Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig. - She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. - He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age. - This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better. - In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet. - The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship. - Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap - This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
 
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