Government Employee Evaluations

[alreadygone]

These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations:


1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."


29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead

 

[obbop]

Comical.

But, how capable is the typical bureaucrat of measuring another's worth?

I don't know.

During events aboard ship, when people were being hurt unnecessarily to rush rush rush evolutions just so the captain would look good to the admiral, a fairly large percentage of the crew, the lower-ranked folks too-often looked upon as being expendable (HEY!!! Wartime? Sure. But NOT during peace time).

We banded together and voiced our displeasure. Threats was all we received. I still have the newspaper clipping. While in-port, a couple dozen guys walked off the ship and huddled in an off-base apartment. Voiced their previously ignored complaints to various naval authorities and the civilian news media.

I, and others, tried different tactics.

We all suffered to various degrees BUT, our safety WAS given more consideration afterwards.

Still, my quarterly report declared that I was a "...cancer infecting the ship and should be excised as soon as possible."

Wow!!!!! I'm a cancer!!!! Infectuous cancer!!!!!!!

Was transferred to a different ship a couple weeks later, along with 40 others. The word preceeded our arrival as we found out later when running into each other on the base, at the enlisted men's club, etc. and we swapped stories.

Sadly, so many of America's brainwashed masses will immediately believe what another brainless one has to say about an employee, etc. Not all but enough to harm a person's career or career possibilities.

See the ghetto kid commit a minor crime and his future may be rough. See Milliken con hordes out of millions of bucks and after his year in the pen. a million-dollar-per-year job awaits.

Just an example of variances within society that are a reality and hard to change.

I just ensure I don't show that quarterly report to anyone, though it would come to light if I ever applied for a job with the FBI, CIA, DoD, etc.

STAND BACK!!!!!!!

I'm a cancer and WILL infect you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bwa hah hah hah hah hah hah hah

Still chortling at some of those 32 listed above.

/by the way, mutiny charges threatened but "strikers" spread word that lethal responses might be the result. Yep. Officers and the "system" quickly withdrew that threat. Those Vietnam and post-Nam years were really weird in Uncle Sam's Canoe Club. Much of what went on did not reach the news media. Race riots, gangs aboard ships. Muggings, extortion rackets...... had to be willing to FIGHT to keep the scum at bay. Good thing old Coot was really good with the fists!!!!

 

[alreadygone]

#$ll,,

I thought it was just a joke!

Bob

 

[obbop]

Yep, I chuckled at most of the entries BUT, as with many jokes, they are based on hard cold reality than can hurt folks.

If we don't laugh at some of it we would be crying too much.

Reading the humor brought back memories. I haven't thought about that strike for a long long time. It was very serious at the time. In a way, it was mutiny and that can lead to extremely severe consequences. Pretty stressful times.

Also, there is currently dickering going on in Nebraska about worker's rights to know what an ex-emplyer is saying about them to potential employers. A couple politicos want workers to have the right to include a rebuttal to be included in their file that an ex-employer is required to pass along.

The above, between bouts of giggles from your post, led to my serious posting.

Hope I didn't offend.

 

[alreadygone]

Not at all.

Bob