Saleswoman: Hi, whacha looking for?
Me: do you carry tank bags?
Saleswoman: Tin...bags?!?!?
Me: No, tank bags.
Saleswoman: for??
Me: on your gas tank.
Saleswoman (very confused): like a tank bra??
Me (good-naturedly laughing): no, like a bag, that sits on your tank.
Saleswoman: Honey, I never even heard of one - what bike is it for?
Me: It doesn't really matter, it can attach to any metal tank with magnets. Or plastic tanks with straps.
Saleswoman: What exactly do you do with it?!?
Me: it's a simple piece of luggage - you just put it on your tank.
Saleswoman: for WHAT bike??
Me: like I said, really any bike. It's for on a Honda... (room darkens, creepy music begins playing from the stack of Harley Davidson baby clothes)
Saleswoman (snottily): well, maybe we call them something else here, but I still have no clue what you're talking about...
Me: well no **** ! (kidding... actually, at this point two dudes at the counter get into the mix and begin thumbing through the Harley Davidson motorcycle accessories & boutique buyers guide, and the Drag Specialties catalog)
Saleswoman(in a pissy voice): Well, I jess can't WAIT to see this thang - what exactly is it for again?
Me: LIKE I SAID, it's just some additional luggage capacity... they usually have a map pocket on top...
Saleswoman(getting pissier): why? you get lost a lot??
Me: See, some people actually travel a lot on their bikes... (interrupted by the guys at the counter finding some pics in the Drag Specialties catalog, then showing them to the saleswoman)
Saleswoman (in a phony horrified voice): ohhh myyyy gaaaawwwddd, I'd NEVER put that on a Hawr-ley!!!
Me: pffffttt - I just cut out the middleman and would never bother riding a Hardley...
Saleswoman (after actually looking like she'd take a swing at me for making such a blasphemous statement): Jess look at it!!! It's just not KEW-EL!!! No way that'd EVER touch a HAWR-LEY!!!
Me: That's wonderful, however, it's for my Honda, remember??
Saleswoman: well, if you had a kew-el bike, you'd never put something like that on your tank!!!
Me (calmly, at first): well ma'am, I suppose you may be right - BUT AS FOR ME, I REALLY DON'T CARE!!! All I want to know is if you have 'em in stock, and how much they are. Maybe when they come studded, tassled, and fringed with a gay lookin' gold anodized eagle bolted to 'em and a $300 price tag they'll be good enough for you, but for me, I'll be very happy with a NICE, FUNCTIONAL TANK BAG!
Saleswoman (VERY apprehensively): Mike, Brad(?), do we carry those? (then she VERY rapidly vanishes)
Prospective Customer: Hi. I am looking for a tank bag that includes a map holder.
HD Salesperson: Uncomprehending: You want what??
Prospective Customer: Hi. I am looking for a tank bag includes a map holder.
HD Salesperson: After a minute of deep thought: “Well, have you considered a bowling ball bag? Some of our gas tanks are small enough to fit into a bowling bag, which is lined so that you can carry the best part of your paint job from bar to bar and show it off to all the other guys. Just think how much of the envy of the bar YOU will be, when they have to take somebody all the way “outside”, just to show off their bike. But you “my friend”, will be able to show off your painted gas tank wherever you go. Man, that IS a great idea.”
Prospective Customer: NO! I don’t think you understand what I want. I was looking for a way to carry my map while I am riding.
HD Salesperson: Well, I think you already have one!
Prospective Customer: No. I came in here, to see if you had one.
HD Salesperson: I can see your map holder from here.
Prospective Customer: What ARE you talking about?
HD Salesperson: Getting sarcastic: Well, I hate to simplify life too much, but son, you just put it in your pocket! Rear pocket usually works better than the front one too! Besides, most of the guys I that walk through these doors, already know how to find the bar without a stupid map!
Prospective Customer: Look, you idiot! I don’t use my bike to go bar-hopping. I prefer to get on my bike and just ride to distant corners. Ride to unknown destinations, just for the **** of it. Just to see what is really around that corner in the road that I never took before. To discover new roads and see new places. That is the joy of riding for me.
HD Salesperson: Well, I hope your cell phone plan is up to date.
Prospective Customer: What??
HD Salesperson: Because you are going to need to call for a tow, if you try to ride your HD for very far. Besides, by the time your tow arrives you will have time to memorize that stupid map. Although a lot of good that will do you. Afterall, you are waiting for a tow and will probably head back home, or back to the shop, once he gets you hitched up.
Prospective Customer: But, I don’t ride HD. I have my metric parked outside, but I know that you cannot see it from here.
HD Salesperson: Oh, that explains your funny clothes. I wondered why you didn’t come in here with your leathers. Got to tell you that we don’t sell very many map-holders here (for obvious reasons), but have I got a **** of a selection on cell phone holders.
Prospective Customer: No thanks! Shakes his head in disbelief and walks out of the store.
Deleted word
[ December 03, 2004, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: 59 Vetteman ]
Me: do you carry tank bags?
Saleswoman: Tin...bags?!?!?
Me: No, tank bags.
Saleswoman: for??
Me: on your gas tank.
Saleswoman (very confused): like a tank bra??
Me (good-naturedly laughing): no, like a bag, that sits on your tank.
Saleswoman: Honey, I never even heard of one - what bike is it for?
Me: It doesn't really matter, it can attach to any metal tank with magnets. Or plastic tanks with straps.
Saleswoman: What exactly do you do with it?!?
Me: it's a simple piece of luggage - you just put it on your tank.
Saleswoman: for WHAT bike??
Me: like I said, really any bike. It's for on a Honda... (room darkens, creepy music begins playing from the stack of Harley Davidson baby clothes)
Saleswoman (snottily): well, maybe we call them something else here, but I still have no clue what you're talking about...
Me: well no **** ! (kidding... actually, at this point two dudes at the counter get into the mix and begin thumbing through the Harley Davidson motorcycle accessories & boutique buyers guide, and the Drag Specialties catalog)
Saleswoman(in a pissy voice): Well, I jess can't WAIT to see this thang - what exactly is it for again?
Me: LIKE I SAID, it's just some additional luggage capacity... they usually have a map pocket on top...
Saleswoman(getting pissier): why? you get lost a lot??
Me: See, some people actually travel a lot on their bikes... (interrupted by the guys at the counter finding some pics in the Drag Specialties catalog, then showing them to the saleswoman)
Saleswoman (in a phony horrified voice): ohhh myyyy gaaaawwwddd, I'd NEVER put that on a Hawr-ley!!!
Me: pffffttt - I just cut out the middleman and would never bother riding a Hardley...
Saleswoman (after actually looking like she'd take a swing at me for making such a blasphemous statement): Jess look at it!!! It's just not KEW-EL!!! No way that'd EVER touch a HAWR-LEY!!!
Me: That's wonderful, however, it's for my Honda, remember??
Saleswoman: well, if you had a kew-el bike, you'd never put something like that on your tank!!!
Me (calmly, at first): well ma'am, I suppose you may be right - BUT AS FOR ME, I REALLY DON'T CARE!!! All I want to know is if you have 'em in stock, and how much they are. Maybe when they come studded, tassled, and fringed with a gay lookin' gold anodized eagle bolted to 'em and a $300 price tag they'll be good enough for you, but for me, I'll be very happy with a NICE, FUNCTIONAL TANK BAG!
Saleswoman (VERY apprehensively): Mike, Brad(?), do we carry those? (then she VERY rapidly vanishes)
Prospective Customer: Hi. I am looking for a tank bag that includes a map holder.
HD Salesperson: Uncomprehending: You want what??
Prospective Customer: Hi. I am looking for a tank bag includes a map holder.
HD Salesperson: After a minute of deep thought: “Well, have you considered a bowling ball bag? Some of our gas tanks are small enough to fit into a bowling bag, which is lined so that you can carry the best part of your paint job from bar to bar and show it off to all the other guys. Just think how much of the envy of the bar YOU will be, when they have to take somebody all the way “outside”, just to show off their bike. But you “my friend”, will be able to show off your painted gas tank wherever you go. Man, that IS a great idea.”
Prospective Customer: NO! I don’t think you understand what I want. I was looking for a way to carry my map while I am riding.
HD Salesperson: Well, I think you already have one!
Prospective Customer: No. I came in here, to see if you had one.
HD Salesperson: I can see your map holder from here.
Prospective Customer: What ARE you talking about?
HD Salesperson: Getting sarcastic: Well, I hate to simplify life too much, but son, you just put it in your pocket! Rear pocket usually works better than the front one too! Besides, most of the guys I that walk through these doors, already know how to find the bar without a stupid map!
Prospective Customer: Look, you idiot! I don’t use my bike to go bar-hopping. I prefer to get on my bike and just ride to distant corners. Ride to unknown destinations, just for the **** of it. Just to see what is really around that corner in the road that I never took before. To discover new roads and see new places. That is the joy of riding for me.
HD Salesperson: Well, I hope your cell phone plan is up to date.
Prospective Customer: What??
HD Salesperson: Because you are going to need to call for a tow, if you try to ride your HD for very far. Besides, by the time your tow arrives you will have time to memorize that stupid map. Although a lot of good that will do you. Afterall, you are waiting for a tow and will probably head back home, or back to the shop, once he gets you hitched up.
Prospective Customer: But, I don’t ride HD. I have my metric parked outside, but I know that you cannot see it from here.
HD Salesperson: Oh, that explains your funny clothes. I wondered why you didn’t come in here with your leathers. Got to tell you that we don’t sell very many map-holders here (for obvious reasons), but have I got a **** of a selection on cell phone holders.
Prospective Customer: No thanks! Shakes his head in disbelief and walks out of the store.
Deleted word
[ December 03, 2004, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: 59 Vetteman ]
