This Year's Darwin Nominees

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Prolly all hoaxes, but funny anyway.






This year's Darwin nominees are:

Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girl friend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."

Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]:
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]:
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day
Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina 's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:
A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]:
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. "Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.



Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock , were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole 's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.

The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge .

After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended.

Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis.

"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a
first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this
accident happened," said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole 's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?

Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool.
 
"it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool." Classic!
 
They tested this on myth busters. they were not able to get the bullet to fire when being used as a fuse under any sane voltage I'm calling shenanigans on that story. But it's funny.
 
#4 Happened in 1995 if I'm not mistaken. A classmate of mine worked at the firm at the time and this guy would routinely do this over beers in the firm's board-room/bar. He would take a run at the windows and throw his body into the middle like a hockey player taking a check up on the glass above the boards. He had done it many times, and perhaps his previous "demonstrations" weakened the clips holding the glass into the skyscraper.

This happened on a Friday evening over drinks. A bunch of people watched him as his luck ran out and the window gave way.

I can't imagine what he was thinking during the 5 - 10 seconds as he fell to his death.
 
I remember reading about those boys from Arkansas on this site a few years ago. It is a good story, but I wonder if it's true. The truck would need to be '80s or before to have the right style fuses, wouldn't it? I don't want to try it myself.
 
Originally Posted By: tinmanSC
They tested this on myth busters. they were not able to get the bullet to fire when being used as a fuse under any sane voltage I'm calling shenanigans on that story. But it's funny.
well if the fuse blew, there was most likely a short on the harness and the amperage draw would heat that ammo up (and the harness) red hot. I think it would it would fire.
 
Originally Posted By: ARCOgraphite
Originally Posted By: tinmanSC
They tested this on myth busters. they were not able to get the bullet to fire when being used as a fuse under any sane voltage I'm calling shenanigans on that story. But it's funny.
well if the fuse blew, there was most likely a short on the harness and the amperage draw would heat that ammo up (and the harness) red hot. I think it would it would fire.


Busted.
http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/fuse.asp
http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-04.html

You can watch it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa4qLvYCNUA
 
Originally Posted By: SteveSRT8
That in no way disallows the Darwin.

Mythbusters are good, but not the end-all, be-all for the world.

I believe you have ignored the link from darwinawards.com itself claiming this is false.
 
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