Things to NOT do in the garage

[wantin150]

Never leave the oil cap off and tell your son "OK, go ahead and crank it!"

Never clean fish (specifically catfish) and use a doubled edged knife. Well, you can, just make sure that you don't actually have your hand on the top edge. If you have your hand far enough back, make sure that it doesn't slip forward. After failing miserably at this, make sure that you try to atleast leave a note so your parents don't come home, open the door, find your truck, and a bunch of blood everywhere, but no you since you can no longer drive a manual while attempting to staunch the flow of blow with your remaining good hand. Always ask for the neighbor's FATHER, not mother. They don't do to well with all that blood!

 

[LAGA]

Don`t let the wife shut off the gas grill that is stored in the garage. Because she will not turn it off. She will only turn it to low. Then, when you put it in it`s corner thinking it is still just warm from being used, it can run for hours and scorch the plywood paneling you installed in the new garage.

 

[meep]

...or not to do in FRONT of the garage, on a steep hill.

If you must leave your 73 VW bus halfway up the steep hill to cool before finishing the rest of the drive up, DO NOT...

Upon discovering that the engine has hydrolocked itself with fuel that has a. overflowed the leaky float valves b. poured in the cylinders c. some has escaped into the muffler...

under no circumstances should one try to evacuate the fuel from the cylinders without considering there may be a few cups of it still in the muffler.

Otherwise one might me inclined to try to start said VW and become engulfed in flames while sitting in the drivers seat.

If this did happen, one would run down the street tearing off burning clothes only to interrupt a coat and tie realtor's party where a nicely soused neighbor gets excited about his fire extinguisher.

Being on a steep hill, it would take the local fire dept an extra 2 minutes to climb the last 100 yards of incline. By then the magnesium engine components would melt and drip INTO the asphalt, where it would later ignite from the leaking A/C (it had air) and then burn straight through to dirt.

If this all happened, do not expect your mother to stop as she drives by to the house, as she would be too angry to notice you hiding half naked behind the fire truck wearing nothing but sneakers and half-melted nylon shorts.

Thank *** nobody was hurt, thank *** we didn't have a garage.

M

 

[Dualie]

if your dumb enough to replace a turbo on a diesel without removing the little plug from the oil drain hole BEFORE bolting it on the engine be sure to have a LARGE C02 extinguisher and a LARGE hallon extinguisher. Your going to need both to stall the truck out.

Also when starting a truck for the first time after a turbo replacement be smart enough to open the roll up door the entire way instead of the 3 ft. that you thought was enough because its cold outside.

15.8L of diesel screaming past 3,500 RPM with the fuel completely shut off. (RED line was 2,300RPM)


disclaimer NO engines were harmed in the making of this idiots experience

 

[TylerL]

If you put Chemtool B12 into your combustion chamber. Don't crank the engine inside because it will leave brown stains on your nice white garage wall. It shot out about 10 feet.

NEVER use a halogen light when changing the fuel filter on your BMW. It almost killed my former neighbor, he is still recovering.
One should not do this outside either.

 

[bar1]

Wasp removal:
http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article2576490.ece

 

[Shaman]

Never park your bike in a place that you have to drag it through mud to get it out. Thank you neighbor for helping me out.

 

[another Todd]

I didn't do it it but after 25 years in the Fire Department you see a few things. Never ever ever do the following:

Siphon/remove gasoline from your fuel tank with a shop vac.(exploded)

Burn paint off the eves of your house. After we put out his first fire and told him not to do it again, we were called back two days later after he tried it again and burned up his entire roof and attic.

Saw a board with your skill saw while the saw line and board are firmly pressed against your leg. (Yes, he cut his board and stained it in one step)

Use a milling machine with a fly cutter while wearing a long sleeved shop coat. (It makes a canoe out of your arm)

 

[My442]

Never crank your Olds 455 motor over with the oil pressure sender unit missing from the block. It will shoot oil 8 feet up and stain the ceiling....

 

[demarpaint]

Never answer the phone and engage in a 30 minute conversation with the opposite sex when the oil sending unit is removed from the car. After the conversation reinstalling the oil sending unit is required before driving away.

Frank D

 

[tonycarguy]

Don't get under a car that's supported by only a hydraulic jack.