The subconscious mind

[Lolvoguy]

Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Originally Posted By: Lolvoguy
I think that subconsciously she put herself into this situation after observing her mom in the same situation while growing up.


Interesting that you should say that and opens the question, what's that say about the subconscious mind of a 40ish man who contacts an old high school flame after 20 years through some social media site? Especially one with all the issues you describe?


whoa, easy there....
We have some similar friends from the same city and I saw a pic of her holding a baby (turned out to be her sisters). Thought she had a baby and wished her the best for her little family (literally, those words).






and I'm still in my 30's

 

[John_Conrad]

lordy lordy, i wish i was forty!...

 

[Lolvoguy]

Originally Posted By: Brybo86
tell her to make sure the father pays child support and then RUN! as fast as you CAN!!

She lives the distance of California to North Dakota from me. she won't be knocking on my door anytime soon.

I kinda feel sorry for her to be honest. My family (siblings) don't get along and I guess I liked having someone from my past to talk to.

Now that I know her story I think I'd rather spend some time doing anything else other than contacting old friends/gf's

 

[John_Conrad]

sounds like you've made your decision.

she is going to need a lot of help and friends to turn her life around and it's not for everyone.

 

[Kuato]

Sounds like LOTS of influence from her mother....she learned quite a bit from her mother's behaviour. Hard to go against years of training.

 

[Turbo_Lemming]

 

[Alfred_B]

Originally Posted By: Lolvoguy
Last October I sent a fb message to a gf I dated back in hs wishing her a happy birthday. We actually dated twice (both times I called it off). I recall having really good telephone conversations with her back in hs (before the days of texting). When we got together, I just wasn't attracted to her (yeah, I know...shallow teenage mind).

She responded recently and we've been in contact via text for the past few days. She's still a little more "husky" (as always) but regardless I have no interest in pursuing anything with her. She mentioned that she recently got divorced from her ex and that shortly after they split she got with some other dude who got her pregnant (first baby for her, she never thought she'd be able to have kids due to some uterus disease). After he found out he was going to be a father he split. She said she didn't want to bother with trying to make something work with him, especially since he "freaked out". Obviously this guy would be able to provide for her and his baby while she's pregnant...making it easier on her and the baby.

When I met her back in the summer of grade 9-10, she was living with her mom and her mom was having a rough time raising three kids on her own. The whole situation didn't see right to me, so regardless I split before I got too involved (about three months).

So here we are roughly 20 years later and now she's pregnant and refuses to try any make anything work with either of her ex's I was going to ask if she's aware of the pattern she's set out for herself and how similar it is to the one her mom was in, but I'd feel terrible about guilt-tripping someone who's finally happy to be a mother.

I think that subconsciously she put herself into this situation after observing her mom in the same situation while growing up.


________


but out, it's none of your business whether she chooses to have the kid or not. Have you thought that she might not abort the kid because she thought she would never have one but now is pregnant?

Or are you saying that she should tie herself to some immature ahole because of pregnancy?

 

[Doog]

Originally Posted By: Brybo86
tell her to make sure the father pays child support and then RUN! as fast as you CAN!!


+1 run faster

 

[Triton_330]

Originally Posted By: KingCake
The subconscious mind is not a thing. It's made up pop culture psychology nonsense. There is the conscious mind and the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is simply the collection of processes that we are not aware of. It's not some magical basement where thought happens.


Well, technically speaking, dreams occur subconsciously.

~ Triton