The 900 Mile-per-gallon Vehicle

Messages
3,346
Location
Clarksville, Tennessee
The 900 mile per gallon vehicle is a reality! P.E.D.A.L. MARKETING IS HERE TO TELL YOU HOW YOU CAN OWN THE 900 mpg VEHICLE. "There must be some sort of trick," you're asking. Not at all! The 900 mile-per-gallon vehicle really does offer: 900 Miles per gallon on inexpensive fuel available everywhere Now, Folks, the 900 mile-per-gallon vehicle consists of two parts: The Chassis, and when I say "the chassis", I mean not just the frame, but all the parts and accessories that go on the frame, including the wheels, tires, brakes, seats and steering, cargo compartment, and cup holder. and … The Engine. The secret is in the engine, but before we get to that, let's talk a little about the amazing range of chassis and accessories you can find on the 900-mile-per-gallon vehicle. The Chassis is available in a wide range of prices, styles and with a wide range of accessories. The price range is truly fantastic. You can purchase a chassis for as little as $5 or you can spend up to $5000 on a high-end luxury model. It's a lot like ranging from a used Yugo to a new Mercedes, except you can't even find a used Yugo for $5, and you certainly can't find a new Mercedes for $5000, so the 900 mpg vehicle is much less expensive than a regular car. In fact, you may already own a usable one. OK, so now you know a little about the chassis of the 900 mpg vehicle. A little later I'll tell you where and how to purchase one - information you won't find anywhere else! But first we need to talk about the real secret of the 900 mpg vehicle: The Engine: It's NOT available in any store! Due to an obscure constitutional amendment, it hasn't been available for sale anywhere in the US since 1865! But, most people already have a suitable engine. Your family may have several. It just needs to be tuned up! That's why we're here... to tell you how! We'll get back to the chassis in a minute, but first some more about the engine: It doesn't come with a warranty. (After all, who would offer you a warranty, since there's no seller.) The engine has a 75 year average lifetime; often even 50% more! It actually lasts longer and works better the more you use it. and it's Low pollution. Isn't that great!? Look at the amazing advantages of the 900 mpg vehicle: It's small and Light - it can even be shipped by air freight It goes almost everywhere - even places 4-wheel drives can't. It's inexpensive to maintain (even the tires cost less than $20 apiece) There's a Wide range of accessories available: You can even purchase Extra cargo space or extra seats - just like a minivan It's America's most popular recreational vehicle. It's inexpensive to operate (no insurance required) The 900 mpg vehicle actually saves everybody money because it needs smaller lanes and causes no road damage. That makes everybody's taxes less. Imagine, your neighbor can save YOU money by using the 900 mpg vehicle! It's the Ideal commuting vehicle; you'll actually enjoy commuting to and from work with the 900 mpg vehicle. It's safe: about the same injury-accident rate per hour of operation as an automobile - if you know how to use it. You can park it almost anywhere. Now to be perfectly honest (have I ever lied to you), I'm going to tell you about the Disadvantages of the 900 mpg vehicle: It has a relatively low top speed. (Average speed about the same as average speed on LA freeway) It's not really the best vehicle for long trips (though lots of people have taken coast-to-coast vacations with them) It's not really the best vehicle for use in freezing or wet weather (though many people do use them) BUT Here are some things I'll bet you haven't thought about : The average trip in Loveland is only two (2) miles! So you don't really need a very fast vehicle or a long distance vehicle for most trips. Every day in Loveland, people drive their cars over 750,000 miles - half that distance is trips under two (2) miles! If most people used our 900 mpg vehicles just for the short trips, traffic congestion in Loveland would be gone! The air would be cleaner! And it would be a whole lot quieter and safer for our children. OK, so now you're wondering, "What's he selling," and "What's it gonna cost?" We're not selling hardware. We're not selling supplies. We're not selling vitamins or minerals. We're only selling an idea, and it's Absolutely Free!! All we ask is the same thing that every multi-level marketing organization asks: that you tell other folks about the great things you've learned from this show. We'll show you how to do that, and we'll show you how to join our organization and get all the benefits of our marketing plan. But first, you have to find your engine and get it tuned up, and we have lots of FREE literature to help you do that. We also have FREE group get-togethers every Saturday morning to help you learn what you need to know to get the job done. Isn't that amazing? So what is this idea? The chassis of our 900 mpg vehicle is a bicycle, and the engine is YOU. We've got free literature to help you learn how to use this amazing vehicle and help you get your engine tuned up. We'll offer you personal advice and we're here to answer your questions. We also consult with the city and county on bicycle issues and we lobby for appropriate bike facilities to make it easier for you to use your 900 mpg vehicle in Loveland and Larimer County. All we ask is that you try it. If you like it, tell your friends. To help you do all of that, you can join our marketing organization for the UNBELIEVABLY LOW PRICE of just $5 per year. You heard me right! Not $5000, not $500, but a measly $5 per year. But you'd better hurry, this offer won't last long. Look at what you'll get: You'll get personal invitations to all our planning meeting, sent to you by either US mail or electronic mail - both if you prefer! You'll get our Saturday morning tune-up session schedule delivered the same way. Currently we have organized social rides every Saturday morning from May through October. But that's not all! You'll get our occasional newsletter telling you what's going on in the 900 mpg vehicle world. We'll tell you where to take your vehicle for fun, what facilities the city and county are planning, and how you can help speed those plans along. We'll tell you what groups are planning organized rides and tell you about commercial tours. It's all right there! But wait - there's more: You'll get FREE classified ads in the newsletter and on our internationally acclaimed World Wide Web site to help you buy or sell 900 mpg equipment (no engines please). And you'll get the support of other 900 mpg enthusiasts. If you act now, you'll be sure to get our September/October schedule delivered to your door very soon. So, line up, sign up, and join P.E.D.A.L. today. You can join P.E.D.A.L. on-line! All right, there's one nagging question left: So how do we figure it's a 900 mpg vehicle? Obviously, we are comparing fuel economy between a motor vehicle and a human on a bicycle. Can we make it a fair comparison? We can if we can find a fuel that can (at least theoretically) power both a motor vehicle and a human. Naturally, it would be even better if the fuel really is a liquid. We're in luck, there is such a thing; it's vegetable oil! Vegetable oil can readily be used as a fuel for small diesel engines. Remember the story about the guy who ran his Volkswagen Rabbit on used McDonald's French-fry oil? There a more recent story about a Joshua and Kaia Tickell who are traveling around the country in their Winnebago powered by used Long John Silver's frying oil. (A fishy story if I ever heard one.) Now that we have a comparable fuel for both humans and cars, all we have to do if figure out how far someone can ride a bike on a gallon of oil. An exercise table suggests that a person burns 600 Calories per hour when he rides a bicycle at 16 miles per hour. (Note: 16 mph is not very fast; almost anyone can ride a bicycle all day at that speed. Racers can easily average 25 mph.) Now we have 600 C/hr / 16 miles/hr=37.5 Calories/mile. All we need is the number of calories in a gallon of vegetable oil. That's easy! Fat is 9 calories per gram and there are about 3785 ml in a gallon (at 1 gram per ml) 3785 g * 9 C/g=34,000 C (approximately). 34,000 C/gal / 37.5 C/mi=900 mpg!
 
Messages
214
Location
Illinois
quote:
The chassis of our 900 mpg vehicle is a bicycle, and the engine is YOU.
That blew my mind man... it was like walking out of a fog. And the engine... IS YOU!!! [Freak] [freaknout]
 
Messages
377
Location
Bedford, Tx
I have been commuting lately. Did so back in 00,01,02 but laid off awhile. Now that high fuel is back I started again. Yes traveling to work now is fun. Sometimes after a hard day the ride home can be a little tuff but it's worth it. I am getting back in great shape to. The bicycle does RULE !!!
 
Messages
23,591
I haven't been riding a bike for a fairly long time on a regular basis, so I'm once again "breaking in." 15 years ago, I used to ride 40-70 miles a day without problems. Now I get tired after 20 miles and I hope I not to drop dead going uphill. I should wear a t-shirt that says "VICTIM OF HIGH GAS PRICES AND POOR PHYSICAL CONDITION" just in case. [Roll Eyes]
 
Messages
2,364
Location
sebring, florida
its kind of funny to read and i understand it isnt meant to be serious, but i thought i would try it with a slightly more realistic approach.. no one that i know of can drink vegetable oil and not get the runs. to make a more realistic approach, you would have to use a 3 dollar gallon of gasoline for a car (sence americans generally dont drive diesels) and find a food that is quick to buy and eat as a substitute and is available anywhere, just like gas is. somthing you can pay for quickly, consume and get back on the road. mcdonalds double cheeseburgers come to mind. might sound funny but they are quick, ,easy, cheap, just like gas is. and the best part is double cheeseburgers wont give you the runs like vegetable oil would. plus at a dollar each you can buy 3 of them. they are 460 cals each. thats 1380 calories total, for about 3 dollars. same price as a gallon of gas, and just like a gallon of gas, fast food is convient way of filling up on high calorie food. so in a nutshell you can go about 36 miles on 3 double cheeseburgers, all for 3 dollars. i think ill keep my 35mpg daily driver thank you very much. plus i wont arrive all sweaty and nasty to work like those bicycle commuters do.
 
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