The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a topnotch quarterback to lead the team. Then, one night while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with an incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM! He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY! Then, he threw another at a passing car going ninety miles an hour. BULLS-EYE! "I've got to get this guy!" the coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm for a quarterback!" So, he travels to Afghanistan, finds the young man, brings him to the States, and teaches him the great game of professional football, the way it is played in the U.S. And, the Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl on the strength of the young man's abilities. The young Afghan is hailed as a great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the man wants is to call his mother. "Mom" he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son!" "I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans." "No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses for a moment, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit!"