As far as an OP's statement that being in the funeral trade is a license to steal, to the contrary, funeral and cemetery operations have enormous overhead...even a small funeral operation will take $1 million + to start up, and they operate at an 8-9% margin, so that $10000 funeral only nets the funeral home maybe $800-900. Worse yet, a $2500 cremation will net them maybe $250. You figure an average funeral home does 50 calls a year (one a week), they aren't getting rich, let me assure you. Cemeteries have to put funds into trust for future care and maintenance, in perpetuity.
As far as crazy stories, every time I think I've seen it all, I haven't. Aggrieved wife throwing her shoe at one of the girlfriends, while the OTHER girlfriend tries to stay out of the fray. Motorcycle clubs either smoking doobies and drinking shots at graveside, or firing pistols into the sky as a last salute...the list goes on and on.